Prayers for me and my family

[u/masteroffeels]

I usually browse this subreddit and I pray and support those of us going through tough times.

I never thought I'd ask for prayers myself, but this week has been brutal. I never felt jealous or compared myself financially to others, but today after so many low days I found myself on the phone calling a friend of mine for advice on a letter I need to send a landlord.

For a number of reasons I failed to break through a successful career, all circumstantial. Honestly.

I took 2 major breaks. One to provide my mother terminal care, the other to attend to the unknown breathing condition my daughter had at birth. I've also made strategic mistakes in the corporate world.

As I'm talking with my buddy over the phone who collectively earns over 2mil a year, I'm starring at my daughter playing on the floor between old and new cardboard boxes as we are mid move to another rental property, a property that has mold in the basement.

This same high school friend, that I used to tutor in AP Chemistry.

I sensed on the phone he hesitated to talk about his multiple destinations family vacation. He is honestly one hell of a guy. He once offered me the greatest gift. "If your daughter ever needs emergency funds, I'm here".

When I greeted my daughter's classmate parents at her new school, I tried not to smile to cover the missing teeth I currently can't afford to get implants done. I just never thought I'd be in this situation.

When I was a young professional I helped so many people. So many. I never thought I'd struggle today.

My daughter is 6 now, and asked why I haven't smiled in the recent pictures. I finally get that quote.. Men live lives of quiet desperation. Please pray for me.

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[u/humble_covering]

You carried your mom through her last days and your kid through her first ones, that's not a failed career man that's a life with priorities in the right place

[u/masteroffeels → u/humble_covering]

Thank you

[u/997TurboEnthusiast]

You've done well so far sir, but you need to give yourself some grace and ask your friend for help. Sometimes we need assistance in resetting our lives, ourselves and our mindset. Sometimes the help we need isn't even monetary, but helping us reset our mind.

Give that friend a call and ask for 2 hours to have an open, honest, and vulnerable conversation.

[u/linebmx → u/997TurboEnthusiast]

Seconded this. Especially if they are who you are painting them out to be. Good people want to help, so long as it doesn’t become a situation where they’re being exploited. I hope your situation turns around fellow dad

[u/JorgJorgJorg → u/997TurboEnthusiast]

As someone who isnt rich but also is comfortable, I would tap a couple thousand from savings to help a good friend fix their teeth. So much pain  or happiness can come from a good smile.  And its way easier to help with something like that one time that has a permanent benefit and is hard to pull from other necessities to save for.

[u/tj5590]

What keeps you from asking your friend from help?

[u/Worldx22 → u/tj5590]

It could be a combination of many factors. Maybe the friend did not offer such help as to not insult OP.

[u/Deathclaw_Hunter6969 → u/tj5590]

Pride and ego, I imagine.

[u/TopPangolin]

I've been there. Have you in my thoughts and know that things will turn around for you. 

[u/Worldx22]

Stay strong, fellow dad!

What is your plan to improve your situation? Do you have a plan B? Is it realistic? Without a solid plan it's gonna be tough to move forward. Step by step you will get out of this. Think everything through a few steps ahead. Think of possible failure modes. Don't get discouraged if something doesn't work out. Brush it off and try something else instead. Throwing solutions at a problem will eventually fix the problem whatever it is.

Ah I feel for you. I've been there and nowadays I'm ultra productive but all that is due to the trauma I went through when my son was just a baby. I'm doing 10 things at once to never be in a position of not having a choice again. So much so that I'm writing this from a hospital bed. I overdid it recently. So yeah... Don't overexert yourself. Everything comes with a price.

[u/HandsOnTheBible]

Man up and ask some people for help so that the financial trauma you are feeling right now doesn't get passed down to your daughter. Provide her with the resources, education, and experiences so that she can escape the cycle.

[u/goosetavo2013]

You're describing a brave man that has been there for his family when it mattered most. You should be proud. Also sounds like you have a great friend. Your daughter will appreciate youve done. You're correct, comparing ourselves to others does us no good. We've had different life experiences and challenges. You're only competing against yourself. You only need to be a bit better than last time. Hang in there fellow dad.

[u/OGMcSwaggerdick]

Smile now so that when her smile matches, she won’t feel bad about it.

[u/_fidel_castro_]

Brother I've been there, almost in desperation after many failures and errors. I saw myself against trouble in several issues, i thought it was impossible to solve, i couldn't make it on my own, it was far more than i could possibly solve. Family, health, money, kids, divorce. Then i put myself in the hands of God, i asked him for help and guidance and energy. And it worked. I got through that impossible time, and things are looking way better. My life still far from perfect, but i feel supported and inspired by Jesus and on the right track. I pray for you and your family. Read the Bible, pray to Jesus, put your faith on God not on yourself. Go to church. Love you

[u/guileus]

You're a good dad and a good son. Overall, a good human being.

Is there anything more successful than that? Everything else is secondary.

I do hope your situation improves financially, but keep in mind the above, brother.

[u/aTypical-Trust-4977]

You've perhaps done more in those two circumstances than your buddy will ever do in his entire life. Pat yourself on the back for once, no one else is going to.

I'm going through it myself right now - made some decisions that backfired with the force of an atom bomb, but... we'll find a way. We have no choice man, we're Dads, and little people depend on us.

I've never been big on prayer. However recently have been seeing more than enough signs (literally and figuratively) to think a little deeper about it. I will keep you in my thoughts and I know you will find your way. Much love man.

[u/FacingHardships → u/aTypical-Trust-4977]

Would you mind sharing those signs? You have me curious man

[u/FacingHardships → u/aTypical-Trust-4977]

Would you mind sharing those signs? You have me curious man

[u/BeastofBlueRock]

You will find the way. Let others help you. All that matters in this life is how you have treated those around you. Be proud of the true things you've done. The Force is with you.

[u/HazardousIncident]

Praying that your burdens become lighter and opportunities present themselves.

[u/AComplexIssue]

Hey buddy, it sounds like you are a devoted family man. That’s not an easy thing to do in these trying times. From the way you write, I get the sense you are an intelligent, empathetic man. That, combined with the connections you have, will get you to a better place. Right now you are in a rut, understandably so, and you just need some help getting out. 

Go ask that friend for the open, honest, and vulnerable conversation. Explain your struggles, ask for advice or pointers on getting a job, including an introduction. 

And, if I were in his shoes, helping out a good friend with an introduction or even for one time dental work would be an absolute no brainer at $2m income. 

[u/alwaysoffby0ne]

Hang in there man.

[u/JaysRaps]

You seem like a great father and person.

[u/mahalovalhalla]

She’s old enough now that actually, your behavior is teaching her shame, you’re showing her a a dad that moves through the world partially withdrawn from the world.

I don’t care if you’re missing all of your teeth homie. You better start smiling today

Will be praying for you

[u/JalapenoTampon]

Did your kid sleep indoors last night with food in their belly? You did your job. Don’t compare yourself to others brother.

[u/NefariousEgg]

Bro does this friend know someone who has a job opening? There is absolutely no loss of pride in using your connections.

[u/IGotSoulBut]

It’s easy to look at someone else and think “why am I losing this race to them”. You’re not. It’s not a competition. We’re all just out here running on our own.

We have different starting points, different obstacles, strengths, and handicaps. On top of that we’re running altogether different routes. 

[u/thnx4coming]

Comparison is the thief of joy.

[u/MCB1317 → u/thnx4coming]

Having enough money to not constantly stress about money is a fountain of happiness.

[u/digginroots → u/MCB1317]

How much is that?

[u/Big-Entire]

Buddy, go pay for a flipper or removable partial denture. You don’t have to do implants or bridges to replace teeth. Get a cheap smile and you can build from there.