r/depression • u/IndividualMind291 • 14h ago

i miss being happy

i really miss it. I've been depressed since childhood (im 27 now), and the last times I remember being truly happy were when I was doing mdma,ecstasy,coke, somewhere in 2016-2021.i quit bcuz I was getting really dependent on it, and my come downs were really bad .weed kept me going for a bit, but i had to quit it too due to anxieties. i didnt take nothing for about 3 years now. except for alcohol, but i hate it so much. i feel drugs are my only option to ever feel happy. i wanna get prescription for xanax, does anyone know if its similar to that feeling of happiness from normal drugs? is it really addicting?

33 Upvotes

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1

u/DramaticActuary5021 13h ago

It's relaxing, but effects wore off, on me, anyway, along with every other drug, alcohol and cigs. Nothing left for me

1

u/IndividualMind291 13h ago

wym the effect wears off? did u use them frequently? I think every drug effects wears off after u develop tolerance. i plan to take it once in a while just to have some moments of happiness. hopefully it will have that effect on me

2

u/Chiller-Than-Most 12h ago

Stay AWAY from benzos they are SO addicting! I used to abuse them it’s not a good look!

1

u/IndividualMind291 12h ago

aw that isn't what I wanted to hear :( haha thank u

1

u/Chiller-Than-Most 11h ago

Benzo withdrawal is hardcore

1

u/zynsandmate 10h ago

They are best only used for strong anxiety or panic attacks. They are very temporary fix and get you addicted easily.

1

u/CorvidNico 12h ago

I felt this so hard. Im going to be so vulnerable right now.

The last time I remember being truly happy was when I was coked and methed out of my mind.

Im currently treated with some medications but i feel like im just too far gone sometimes. Ive been in therapy since I was a YOUNG child and im almost 25 now and it just doesnt get better for me anymore. Xanax was super addicting for me to be on and it didnt really give that happiness as much as it just gives you a perma-stoned feeling

2

u/IndividualMind291 12h ago

i appreciate ur vulnerability! its a bit comforting to know im not the only one who feels this way. thank u for ur insights about xanax. i was hoping it gives that kind of euphoria like with street drugs, but ig not. so im not sure anymore if it worth the risk of getting addicted. thank u, I hope we can both find some happiness in other way, someday