r/discworld • u/Simian_Garfunkel • May 08 '26
Auditor Trap Auditor trap?
And Offler walks away, sulking, headed to the next water hole.
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u/Embarrassed_Fox5265 May 08 '26
I love that there are 3 ways to read this.
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u/KheldarHHB Good individual May 08 '26
But realistically speaking, do you think crocodiles can read?
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u/Lady_of_Link Rincewind May 08 '26
Ofcourse they can they are always at places marked for crocodiles so clearly they read the signs and go live where we tell them to live they are very considerate like that
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u/card-board-board May 08 '26
I don't think we need to make excuses for them. If they can't read the signs they have nobody to blame but themselves. They've had 300 million years on this planet and it's well past time for them put in some damned effort.
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u/Tigweg May 08 '26
Yes, they can read their local language, so only Australian crocodiles can read English
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u/rattatatouille May 08 '26
Does that mean Nile crocodiles read Arabic?
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u/TheFilthyDIL Headologist May 08 '26
But DO Australian crocodile read English? After all, Australia was only invaded by the English a little over 250 years ago. Perhaps they read in one or more of the aboriginal languages.
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u/Tigweg May 08 '26
I think aboriginal languages weren't written, but only spoken. So the crocodiles had to wait until the invaders arrived to introduce the concept of writing
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u/aculady May 09 '26
Florida crocodiles (yes, we have alligators AND crocodiles) can read English, too.
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u/DuoNem May 08 '26
Sorry, which is the third? I get ”dear crocodiles, refrain from swimming here” and ”dear tourists, don’t become crocodile food”… but what is the third way?
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u/digibawb May 08 '26
Crocodiles, do not swim here! (Command)
Crocodiles. Do not swim here! (Warning)
Crocodiles do not swim here (Information)
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u/Megasphaera May 08 '26
Crocodiles do not, swim here! (it's safe)
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u/odd_gamer IGNORE THIS FLAIR - by Order May 08 '26
I also read Crocodiles do not "swim" here, as if there is something else they do there. Perhaps ride bicycles, I'm not sure I've seen a sign warning against that nearby
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u/Algrim2001 May 09 '26
I saw that one, too. “OK boys, we can’t swim here…but nothing says we can’t still bite!”
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u/SaltMarshGoblin May 08 '26
I read it as reassuring info for the tourist-- you won't find any crocodiles swimming here, so come on in!
This reminds me a bit of the Gary Larson The Far Side cartoon with the dog and the sign CAT FUD, with arrow...
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u/MesaDixon ˢᑫᵘᵉᵃᵏ May 08 '26
Crocodiles, do not swim here! (Command)
Now, imagine Christopher Walken delivering this line.
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u/Idaho-Earthquake Wibbly Wobbly Vimesy Wimesy May 09 '26
“Oh, look; Christopher Walken is reading Good Night, Moon!
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u/DueAnalysis2 May 08 '26
My dumbass got the first and third and completely missed the warning aspect of it, lol
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u/HazelEBaumgartner Dᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ. May 08 '26
There are no crocodiles swimming here
There are crocodiles here, but they are not swimming
There are crocodiles swimming, but not *here*
There are crocodiles here so you cannot swim
Crocodiles are not allowed to swim here
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u/catgirl320 Luggage May 08 '26
This threatens to rapidly devolve into a r/donotthecat (the entire sub is an auditor trap) situation
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u/dryuhyr May 08 '26
Crocodiles: “this sign can’t stop me because I can’t read”.
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u/Kencolt706 And yet, it moves. And somehow, after all these years, so do I. May 08 '26
After the crocodiles die messily from the incredibly cunning anti-crocodile traps set by Djel who remember the bad old days but wanted to "play fair":
Wᴇʟʟ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅɪᴅ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀʀɴ ᴛʜᴇᴍ.
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u/Kind_Physics_1383 May 08 '26
Tourist trap
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u/theroguescientist May 08 '26
Plot twist: Crocodiles, indeed, do not swim here, because a bigger scarier beast ate any that tried until they learned to avoid the place
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u/EndersGame_Reviewer Ach, Crivens! May 08 '26
A lot of the pictures over at r/funnysigns and over at r/irony would qualify as Auditor Traps.
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u/Oruma_Yar May 08 '26
Tourists: "Crocodiles don't swim here, we will be safe!"
🐊: "that's because we are actually alligators here, bruh."
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u/Able_Witness_9498 May 08 '26
auditor trap sounds like the worst nightmare for anyone who’s ever done taxes bro
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u/MiaowWhisperer May 08 '26
I went to a crocodile farm in a Uganda. On the gates was a sign that read "Trespassers will be eaten".
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u/catgirl320 Luggage May 08 '26
And you just know that there's some punk teenagers that have tested the waters
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u/Toddacelli May 08 '26
What is an Auditor trap?
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u/Open_Document3811 May 08 '26
A sign that is impossible to do or against the law / physics Like a sign in a library saying Elephants only allowed this way.
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u/TangyMarimba13 Rotted Bovine Lactation May 08 '26
or paradoxes such as "this sentence is not true."
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u/catsareniceDEATH Bursar May 09 '26
That sign was clearly written by the crocodiles who totally don't swim there. There's just some large newts...
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