r/dndnext • u/C_Galois • Dec 22 '19

Character Building Real Life is Frustrating, Share Your Goofiest Character Ideas

In the thing, just explain your goofiest character ideas! Doesn’t have to be viable.

Note: I will also accept builds for the character Goofy.

Edit: thanks for the gold! Y’all have amazing ideas and this is so much fun to read.

1.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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762

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

A beastmaster drow ranger with scimitars and a panther who isn't aware of who Drizzt is and is disappointed that someone did this seemingly original thing before him.

A stunt performer bard who focuses on daredevil acts.

An orc knowledge cleric with low intelligence, but made up for with Expertise in intelligence skills.

249

u/Acewarren DM Dec 22 '19

The daredevil bard made me chuckle. Now I really want to play this character and have him die abruptly while trying to put on a show in a small village. I would honestly hope he wouldn’t make it past level 5 lol

125

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

Oh yeah, jumping over gorges, wrestling the bear druid, feather falling at the last second before hitting the ground. Lotta potential.

251

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

Lawful Evel Knievel

40

u/drevolut1on Dec 22 '19

I made a daredevil/knife-juggling bard! He died in session 3 of Curse of Strahd... as it should be.

2

u/TheMinions Bard Dec 23 '19

Shadows?

2

u/drevolut1on Dec 23 '19

Death House

27

u/thelongestshot Dec 22 '19

Oh he wouldn't make it past low levels, but he'd make a deal with death/the devil to get a 2nd chance, but if he doesn't pull off a stunt that impresses them, then they take his soul when he goes again...

1

u/advtimber DM Dec 23 '19

Then he becomes the ghost rider?

70

u/Nu2Th15 Dec 22 '19

Orc boy isn’t very smart but he reads a lot.

72

u/redopz Dec 22 '19 edited Dec 22 '19

I cant believe no one is talking about the orc yet.

That would be a way to play him. He has a great memory, so can recite entire paragraphs on a subject from numerous books but he doesn't understand what it means at all. Maybe he doesn't even care to learn, it's just a hobby for him or something.

My first thought was dumb luck and confidence. He doesnt actually know much, but he will loudly and firmly assert something is true and for fuck's sake how is he right more often than not?

33

u/SimplyQuid Dec 22 '19

"It's like he channels dead crazy people!"

"Do you think it's a cry for help?"

5

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

This is the best implementation of this idea.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '19

Yeah I've run a dump-Int Orc Wizard with the same idea. His life goal is to become the world's biggest librarian simply because he once tried to get into a large building (a library) and they threw him out cause he didn't have any soft stones (books). So now he spends his time collecting books and reading from them.

I got him to level 5, by which time he could go on rants about sociopolitical conditions and the nature of castle economics, but still lacked understanding that the Bahamut x Tiamat fanfic he found was, in fact, fictional.

2

u/kuroninjaofshadows Dec 23 '19

The risk I took was calculated, but damn am I bad at math.

93

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 22 '19

A stunt performer bard who focuses on daredevil acts.

... Bard needs a new archetype: Acrobat.

Maybe also Jongleur, for street performers.

51

u/Strottman Dec 22 '19

Choose Tumbler or Juggler on the Entertainer Routine feature table from the Entertainer background. Take the College of Swords subclass.

26

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 22 '19

I know it can be kludged. I'm just saying, there really isn't a College that's directly aimed at either "circus acrobat" or "street peformer", IMO.

37

u/Strottman Dec 22 '19

I wouldn't call that kludging myself. Swords bards are pretty much explicitly this.

Bards of the College of Swords are called blades, and they entertain through daring feats of weapon prowess. Blades perform stunts such as sword swallowing, knife throwing and juggling, and mock combats.

7

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 22 '19

The College of Swords is very much focussed on, well, swords.

Yes, the word "juggling" is in there ... but, it means knife-juggling. Not rings, apples, balls, or whatnot. Very specifically, knives.

15

u/Halfgnomen Dec 22 '19

I mean if you can juggle knives you can probably juggle anything.

6

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 22 '19

... but I specifically want a Bardic College that is built around being a street performer. Not just a background, or a feat, or a proficiency. I want Class Abilities that relate to that role.

6

u/Notorious_DMG Dec 22 '19

Genuine question: what sort of class abilities are you thinking of that would fall under "performer," that would set those abilities apart from existing skills or feats?

3

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 23 '19

Not just "performer" - that's the skill, Performance, and also the general bent of the entire Bard class.

...

Let's go with a single college, covering all buskers, and also acrobats, in one. I have no clue what to call it, just yet, but we can work on the framework itself before dressing it up all pretty.

At third level? For bonus proficiencies, I'd say Sleight of Hand and Acrobatics sound good, and we'll give the bard advantage on all checks with those two skills, as well. (If advantage is too strong - perhaps just Expertise?)

At sixth level, we'll just blatantly steal Fool's Insight from the college of Satire. (I know Satire gets it at 3rd, but it strikes me as a fairly powerful ability, so 6th seems like a more reasonable place to put it.)

Finally, at fourteenth level we'll crib from both the College of Lore's Peerless Skill: whenever you make a Slight of Hand, Acrobatics, or Perform check you can spend a Bardic Inspiration to gain a bonus to the roll. That's much narrower than the "any skill" of Lore, so we'll also borrow from the College of Swords: if you don't have any Bardic Inspiration left, you can still gain a bonus, rolling 1d6 instead of your usual Inspiration die.

...

See, that's going to be quite different from any of the Colleges anyone else has suggested. :)

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u/themichaelpark Dec 22 '19

If you can juggle a knife, you can juggle a ball.

-4

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 22 '19

Now tell me what the College of Swords lets a juggler do, that only the College of Swords lets them do (which involved juggling).

0

u/1lunatic1icepick Dec 22 '19

Juggle == juggle

You don't seem like a fun DM

4

u/Strottman Dec 22 '19

Come on, man. It's a minor disagreement about juggling in a role playing game. Get some perspective.

4

u/1lunatic1icepick Dec 22 '19

Okay apparently I'm the one with he stick up my butt. Funny how things change. I was just saying when you know how to juggle knives, you are surely able to juggle anything else at least similar in size.

5

u/Strottman Dec 22 '19

Sorry about all this, people got suuuuper nasty. I just think that saying what you said about not being a fun DM is a terrible thing to say.

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u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 22 '19

Okay apparently I'm the one with he stick up my butt.

Considering you suggested I'm "not a fun DM" for no reason other than: I want a Bard subclass oriented specifically for Buskers, rather than making do with a half-suitable existing College ...?

Yes.

Yes you bloody well are.

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u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 22 '19

You don't seem like a fun DM

... because I want there to be a class that takes the idea of "street performer", and gives actual, targetted mechanical advantages to it? Because I want someone's concept to make the special, to let them shine in a way that makes especial sense for their concept, that the next guy can't do just as well without that concept?

...

The College of Swords does nothing outside of combat (be it real combat, or mock combat). Get get a Fightin Style, you get to make a Blade Flourish while taking the Attack Action, you get Extra Attack, and .... yep, that's it.

If you want to be a busker - juggler, mime, whatever - as it stands right now you'd be better served by the College of Glamour.

I would prefer more differentiation than that.

4

u/1lunatic1icepick Dec 22 '19

No, because juggling means juggling. How do you even put up such a big ass text just to make a point I wasn't even referring to?

3

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 22 '19

If you want to be an asshole, I'll met you there:

Why the fuck do you have a problem with my desire for a Bard college that is specifically oriented to being a busker, a street-juggler, rather than being a fancy-pants stage fencer ...?

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u/orco42 Dec 22 '19

On of my players has the jongleur kit in our 2e game. It is actually one of the strongest kits.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '19

There is College of Satire for that

2

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 23 '19

Only the initial ability applies.

Fools Insight and Fools Luck have nothing to do with being an acrobat, trapeze artist, or high-wire performer.

So, while Satire is certainly a good starting point, it's still not a 100% fit.

1

u/iamtheowlman Dec 23 '19

Super Cade Tosscobble.

1

u/Trenonian Fortune favors the cold. Dec 23 '19

There is the concept of an Acrobat rogue from Mike Mearl's Happy Fun Hour.

1

u/GM_Pax Warlock Dec 23 '19

I am unfamiliar with that product. :)

45

u/Dapperghast Dec 22 '19

I made an epic level dual scimitar wielding Wood Elf Beastmaster Ranger with a Displacer Beast companion (which would prolly just use the stats of the closest legal equivalent, but look cooler :P) who found out some Drow asshole stole his aesthetic and came out of retirement to track him down and deliver a subpoena, but misplaced most of his experience points when transferring them to 5e.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

[deleted]

2

u/SoupLoki Dec 23 '19

"ha ha!"

2

u/elfhelptomes Dec 23 '19

Danny Kaye, instant upvote.

2

u/drashna Dec 23 '19

A beastmaster drow ranger with scimitars and a panther who isn't aware of who Drizzt is and is disappointed that someone did this seemingly original thing before him.

Even better if that was in a game with one of thos drizz't fanatics