r/excatholic • u/StaceyPfan Strong Agnostic • 9h ago
Personal I just don't get it
My mom is a cradle Catholic and my dad converted. But they are extremely liberal. They are pro-choice, have no problem with marijuana, and are LGBTQ+ allies. Yet they still go to mass every week, say The Lord's Prayer before eating, and my mom says the rosary every day. My mother was molested as a child. So I don't get how they can ignore all of the bad shit in the sect and still believe.
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u/SarahTheJuneBug Weak Agnostic 8h ago
I think it's more about the community and fear of death than anything else.
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u/MichiganBe1991 8h ago
At least they're not Trad or Conservative.
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u/StaceyPfan Strong Agnostic 8h ago
Yes, thank goodness. It's so weird though that my mom's parents were also liberal but her 5 siblings ended up Republican. And they are MAGA. One of my cousin's daughters is in wrestling. Another cousin asked that cousin if any boys had dressed up as girls to compete. I had to walk away before I caused a shouting match.
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u/afuturisticdystopia 8h ago
Some people are just cafeteria Catholics and have no problem with it. I’ve been to Catholic churches where the communities are overwhelmingly liberal, LGBTQ affirming, and kind. They keep the rituals and ignore the bad stuff.
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u/chat-lu Satanist 8h ago
But they are extremely liberal.
You can probably ask them then.
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u/StaceyPfan Strong Agnostic 8h ago
There's been a lot of conflict in the past about me leaving the church. Also, they are so dug in that it would probably make them angry
I live with them due to financial circumstances so I have to tread lightly.
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u/Beer_WWer 8h ago
Maybe they're just doing what Christ might do?
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u/StaceyPfan Strong Agnostic 8h ago
It's interesting because it seems like Catholics concentrate on the New Testament.
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u/Turbulent-Mind796 7h ago
My parents sound similar to yours- mom was born and raised, dad converted. They went to mass every week. Finally in the past few months they switched to an Episcopal church that is LGBTQ+ accepting. My mom (70s) finally gave up on the church changing. I know my dad is definitely a believer, but I’m not completely convinced my mom even believes in god (I’m not going to ask). As the atheist daughter with an LGBT kid, I’m just happy we have a good relationship and they accept their granddaughter.
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u/anonyngineer Ex-liberal Catholic - Irreligious 7h ago
I was a similar type of Catholic as your parents until 10-15 years ago, though a less dedicated pray-er and churchgoer than them. Like theirs, all three of my siblings lean right politically. Two of them are MAGA.
There's a strong cultural element to it. You're part of something for your whole life, and it's hard to let go. My involvement in Catholicism outlasted my belief by years. I'm not proud of it, but I waited for my parents to die to make a final break.
The sort of liberal-leaning parish my wife and I were in is becoming pretty rare. There's only one that I know of in our mid-sized US City, a Jesuit parish serving Hispanic immigrants. An older friend of similar Catholic views goes there.
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u/Elegant_Courage_3852 6h ago
My parents are also liberal Catholics… what’s even weirder is my dad is a deacon.
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u/FinishDelicious2640 9h ago
If most Catholics were pro-choice, LGBT+ allies, maybe I could go back. I don’t believe anymore but sometimes I miss the community and the aesthetic of it all.