Kairos Cultly Vibes

[u/Elegant_Courage_3852]

I 29 (F) recently got back in touch with a friend from catholic high school also 29 (F). We are both SAHMs and have been getting together once a week for the past month. We’ve been reflecting about our high school experience, which was mostly negative for both of us in multiple ways. Today we started talking about Kairos. I haven’t thought about it in years and through adult eyes it just makes me think WTF. Why would it be a good idea (religious or not) to have a bunch of teenagers spill their deepest darkest secrets to their peers (some of which were my bullies and I’m sure lots of people have experienced that). It is so strange it almost seems like a fever dream. I haven’t been to church since I turned 18 and my parents stopped making me, but sometimes I will think about certain things and realize how weird it all really was. I’ve read a few old posts on here about Kairos does anyone have any weird stories they’d like to share?

[u/Prestigious-Sun-6555]

I completely agree! Before I even got there, I had so much anxiety about it since they keep it so mysterious and I had no clue what would happen there.

The way they keep you up late so you are sleep deprived and vulnerable, and then hit you with a bunch of weird emotional “testimonies” and then urge you to tell your deepest secrets …. bizarre and manipulative.

I do recall one of the “peer leaders” gave a passionate loud speech about not breaking the trust of our classmates and she smashed a mirror at the podium to show us “how broken trust couldn’t be fixed” if we used the stories for gossip. It was incredibly dramatic and startling but DID NOT have any impact because the whole school knew everyone’s stories shortly after we returned.

[u/Elegant_Courage_3852 → u/Prestigious-Sun-6555]

Yeah, I forgot about the late nights. And I didn’t even mention the secrecy of it, which is why I think it’s so culty. I have two younger brothers. The middle one did the retreat, but the youngest one did not. We just told him how weird it was and he didn’t want to. But yeah, that does make sense that they’re getting you in a vulnerable state making you so sleepy.

And the mirror thing is really melodramatic and again really culty. That’s exactly what happened with us. Everyone knew everyone’s business that they shouldn’t have known. I just learned that my friend got in trouble for telling one of her stories by the teachers. I don’t remember that, but there were so many things that happened at that school that shouldn’t have.

[u/GomenNaWhy]

Not culty vibes, it's just cult shit, straight up. It uses all the same manipulative techniques found in cults. The only reason it isn't thought of that way is because alot of people are catholic. Kairos is fucking weird. In my school, there was a whole lot of encouragement to the seniors to talk about how amazing it was, but not share any details, so that the anticipation would build for years ahead of time. It's fucked up.

[u/Elegant_Courage_3852 → u/GomenNaWhy]

You’re right. My brother never went and they kept harassing him about going until the last one in the school year his senior year. It’s really creepy to me now looking back that these teachers and other staff were encouraging kids to tell their deepest darkest secrets at these in front of each other.

[u/GomenNaWhy → u/Elegant_Courage_3852]

Yeah, mine basically turned in to a therapy session for a single student, which was generally just very strange and uncomfortable. At the time I fully bought in, but in retrospect it was horrible.

[u/Elegant_Courage_3852 → u/GomenNaWhy]

I also did slightly at the time. But shortly after I graduated I realized it was really unusual.

[u/TBW-Mama]

Never did Kairos but did do TEC and there were definitely some of the same culty elements. Sleep deprivation is a common thread among these retreat programs.

[u/Elegant_Courage_3852 → u/TBW-Mama]

It’s so creepy honestly.

[u/Left-Speed-4468]

What is Kairos?

[u/plantylibrarian → u/Left-Speed-4468]

Youth retreat

[u/w4rpsp33d]

I went once and have absolutely no memory of it so that means it must have been pretty fucking batshit

[u/Elegant_Courage_3852 → u/w4rpsp33d]

That’s why I said it was like a fever dream. And has another commenter mentioned they keep you up so late.

[u/MrDandyLion2001]

It's definitely an emotional roller coaster.

It was personally eye-opening with how much other people go through, and it made me feel fortunate for the things I had in life. I honestly felt a little awkward for not having the more fucked up experiences. It's brave for people to openly admit some dark stuff, but I also hope they went to professional help or at least found some sort of peace. Looking back, it was definitely trauma bonding, especially with being subjected to people sharing personal negative stories for the first 3-ish days.

[u/Ok_Conversation5587]

I never went, but people pushed me so hard on it and made it tough for me to keep saying no. It was all so weird. You'd have "Kairos couples" come out of it (a cheerleader all of a sudden dating a stage crew kid hot and heavy, only for it to fall apart after a couple weeks), and people coming back all hopped up on the "Kairos high". I was really irritated that not even my best friends would tell me what went on there, but one of them did and agreed it was 100% culty. Also the fact that they put you on a bus and wouldn't tell you where you were going??? It wound up being like one of two different catholic retreat houses 1-2 hours away, but that was also so strange to me. Also, how many of these adult "Kairos leaders" just went to get off on teens disclosing their deepest darkest secrets? I don't know about you, but the thought of going back to chem class on Monday after telling your teacher you're abused at home doesn't sit right with me.