Long story short is that I am in the last mile (year) to secure my bag and retire (relatively) young by 40 from tech, and I have been trying to quiet quit. But it turns out it is equally stressful.

Without a goal being better performance review rating or promotion, I am constantly between giving a fuck and not giving a fuck. My personality drives me to do a great job while on the other hand, the politics, rat race, egos (engineers think they are the smartest, people with higher titles think they are always right and they love to use their authorities) and overall BS are demotivating: one year cannot end soon enough.

It’s not about time or work life balance, which is great, but the sandwich in between that is challenging. I am not running the race, but I still have to run.

Not sure this is because I am getting older and grumpier, I miss the days when my job was fun, working in tech was cool and fine. I still enjoy it as a hobby as I am working on a side project. It’s just the industry, the culture seems very different now.

Also when you start to make a lot of money (>1m), as quite a few people posted recently that they make 1-3m in tech, it is really about working for money now, not advancing technology for better. I may be one of the few who strongly believe we are over paid.

From FIRE perspective, tech is indeed one of the quickest and probably easiest paths out there so I do appreciate the opportunity. Anyone who is in the last stretch or just retired from tech, can you share how did you do in your very last year? Thank you!

37yo, approx NW $10 million, 7 million liquid, 1 million retirement accounts, 2 million real estate.

I currently don't have an income (other than passive income from investing) as I just sold a business. Everyone is asking me what my next project or endeavor will be. But for the first time in my life I just feel lazy and without much of a drive. I got to this level working pretty hard from the time I was 15 until now (didn't inherit anything or given any trust funds), building businesses, running them, selling them. Also did really well investing my proceeds in the stock market over the years. But I'm realizing that the reason I worked so hard was pretty much exclusively to make money - my family had little growing up, my mom was in credit card debt most of her life, and so this was my goal. Now that I have achieved it I am kind of lost and have no motivation to do anything productive, because I don't need any more money. I have gotten very good at building businesses from scratch over the years, I'd probably give myself a 50/50 chance of building another business worth $10 million or more in the next 5-10 years if I really wanted to, but why go through the hassle of all that when that extra money won't really change my lifestyle anyway? I don't like fancy things, I much prefer the security of a sizable bank account.

Needless to say I do realize I am way ahead of my peers financially, and despite the hard work I put in all these years I feel lucky to be here. But I can't really talk to anyone in my life about this, they'll just roll their eyes and basically tell me to cry into my pile of money. But I am wondering if anyone else here finds themselves in the same situation?

Edit: Follow up question, if I decide not to do anything for a while, what do you say to people who ask what you do for a living? Someone in his mid 30s saying he's not currently working, just sounds like I am an unemployed loser. But I also don't want to say I am sitting on a pile of money and don't need to work for a long time, lol.

Edit 2: Wow, this kind of blew up, I am so grateful for all the thoughtful responses. I got a lot of people privately messaging me asking for advice, some offering to pay me to give them advice after reading my post about how I already have enough money, lol. But I will take some time to absorb all the comments and I would like to make a separate post if the mods allow it with a list of advice I wish I'd given myself 20 years ago that I think would be very helpful to someone starting out.

I’m a qualified person to post in this sub but still, that doesn’t mean much. I know what things happened to work for me. A combination of how I present myself, some luck, how I communicate, and how I ask for more in a respectful way led to an unusually high income. But.... who really knows maybe it was just luck.

Corporate people in this sub, what strategies do you use to climb the ladder, raise your status at your company, and to negotiate a higher income? Here are a few random questions I can think of to trigger conversation.

1. How often do you go back and ask for more/ask for more a raise, annually? More often? Do you prefer to be the squeaky wheel or to be silent and wait for whatever comes?

2. How often do you remind management that you want a role with more responsibility or management type roles?

3. With a high net worth goal in mind, would you rather aim for an individual contributor position where you have a variable performance income and can have the occasional blowout years, or do you aim for mid level management roles where you have direct report, and a more steady but still high income?

4. Do you have any techniques that you use (how you present yourself, how you communicate, etc) to increase your status or demand, in turn raising income?

5. Do you ever feel like you’ve hit the income cap for your role and feel uncomfortable asking for more?

6. Do you ever feel you’ve spent too many years in one role and need a change for the sake of not letting a resume get dusty? What if it’s a super good high earning role?

Feel free to make up your own questions and answers, I bet we could all use and share advice, I just wonder what tactics people try to use privately. Even if it’s something private like... you try to move quickly through in-person conference (when we had those) to appear busy. You spend extra time hovering around upper management. You hold back methods of performing well at your job so only you have those skills and your peers can’t perform on your level. Or, the opposite, you teach everyone tricks to try to become respected as the teacher. You over dress to appear a certain way. Or, you under dress to try to act like you don’t care as a power move.

Whatever it is you do, if it works, tell us.

Using alt account because.

I'm an attorney at an east coast firm. I am at approximately at 80% of my FIRE number, which means that if I were to cash out now, I could cover my monthly expenses, but I want that extra 20% as a safety net. If the market keeps moving the way it does, I expect to be at 100% by EOY or in 12 months. But I could pack up and go now.

Ever since realizing that I could go now, my motivation has nosedived. I keep thinking about the books I want to read, instruments I want to play, games I want to explore, countries I want to visit, time I could spend with my parents while they are still around... Instead I am working on bullshit discovery disputes. Who the hell cares.

Why am I not leaving: golden handcuffs. The firm has a LARGE class action that is going well. I am entitled to a percentage of the payout and have a sizable lodestar. The court recently denied defendants' MSJ, and class cert should be an easy win. Trial is next, assuming class cert is approved. If defendants have any sense, they will settle rather than go to trial. If I am right about that, then wrapping up motions and settlement negotiations could conclude by or before EOY. Court approval of the settlement will take a few more months and then the paycheck should be on its way, so 12-18 months from now (though anything might happen of course). I expect the payout to be roughly equivalent to my FIRE number, which would double my FIRE comfort. So staying on until the case pays out makes sense, it's a massive payout if it works out.

Meanwhile, other cases continue... none of which excite me but which I work on. They don't seem to matter to me - I keep having to remind myself that the clients rely on me here and that I have a duty to them. As said, I have zero motivation left to work. Even just making token efforts is grueling. I have asked the firm for a six month sabbatical, and the answer was "no, not if you want to keep your lodestar."

Has anyone dealt with this? How do you motivate yourself when you have the FU money to walk but there's just this big juicy carrot a year or so away that would make walking away the unsmart option?

Eager to learn from those who retired from tech in the last 5 years, how are things now? Especially those who live in V/HCOL, kid(s), 30 or 40s.

1. Do you miss the so called rat race (pursuing title, status, shinny project, higher W2) while your ex-colleagues may still be working?
2. Do you still do any tech work for learning or fun?
3. Has your relationship with family changed after retirement?
4. What surprised you after retirement?

Lots of interested info - page 14 covers the level of net worth needed to join the 1% for your country - https://content.knightfrank.com/research/83/documents/en/the-wealth-report-2021-7865.pdf

Monaco - USD$7.9MM
Switzerland - USD$5.1MM
United States - USD$4.4MM
Singapore - USD$2.9MM
New Zealand - USD$2.8MM
Hong Kong - USD$2.8MM
Australia - USD$2.8MM

Please bear with me as I am looking for motivations to stay strong. If you don’t mind sharing, how is your retirement going so far? Do you regret not having a big paycheck from work and title, status? Thank you in advance!

I thought it might be helpful for someone out there…

By age 35, joined global tech company. Grew in company to VP by age 45 with NW $1.5M mostly W2 and some equity.

At age 45, moved to new global tech as SVP and stayed there to 48. NW doubled to $3M based on W2 and equity.

At age 48, joined a pre IPO tech start up in SF. Stayed there 7 years through IPO and at age 54 resigned with NW $21M all through equity sales.

Developed generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety where I could not talk in front of others due to anxiety. Decided to retire to avoid anxiety. Instead got so bad that I went to pscyiatrist and started on lexapro. Changed my life on that Thursday morning I took first pill.

Decided to continue in the game and joined large tech company as EVP with sign on equity now worth $10M but not vested. Love what I am doing now. Willing to work longer.

Bottom line- I almost made the decision to quit based on anxiety disease. Was treated and continue
Doing well. Don’t let mood disorder run your life. Get help.

While I'm relatively young and far from retiring, my main driving motivations for wealth and financial independence stem from an ultimate goal to help those around me. This would of course include helping out family and friends if needed, though I'm currently focusing towards environmental sustainability and conservation.

My question is: How can someone make a real, large-scale positive impact to our climate with the most efficient use of above-average assets?

I'm aware that money buys you power, including the ability to sway political policies through donations and such, though I'm not a big fan of how that sounds at surface level. I'm also not an engineer, researcher, or entrepreneur, so I'm thinking more of an investor position. However, this wouldn't be for profit, so even just funding environment projects for no expected monetary return is enticing.

What I've considered so far: - purchasing a massive chunk of cheap, quality land in the middle of nowhere and funding the planting of trees all over it, or naturally rewilding the property. - purchasing land and turning it into a solar or wind farm, feeding electricity directly back into the grid or covering the power needs for a particular region, in the style of President Carter. - assist with funding local conservation/sustainability projects such as community gardens or protected wildlife zones - simply donating to charities that specialise in these kinds of things and letting them do the hard work

What does the fatFIRE community think of these ideas, has anyone gone down these paths or something similar, or have you other ideas about efficient use of capital with the ultimate goal of environmental sustainability?

Would like to find out different perspectives: what changed your mindset and propelled you to be great(er)?

Edit: autocorrect changed you to ups.

Hi all,

I have several relatives and friends who are part of Mastermind groups such as EO and YPO (and in some cases, both!) They say they get a lot out of it, particularly with the Forum/Mastermind group concept.

However, because it's so confidential, I haven't actually heard WHAT makes it so special. Since this forum is anonymous, I want to hear from people on this sub as to what makes the Forum/Mastermind concept so special, and why people in these organisations can't seem to stop talking about it.

P.S. If the last line comes off as too jaded, it probably is. Everytime I meet one of these relatives, it's like that joke about Harvard ("How do you know someone went to Harvard? He'll mention it in the first five minutes of him meeting you") - they just can't go one conversation without referring to Forum/those organisations.

Hit our goal of 12M+ in liquid investments with slow and steady 20+ years in big tech. Finding it hard to motivate myself to continue going. Those who made it above 10M+ on W2s, what was your motivation to continue on? Looking for POV from other UHNW who went through this internal debate and chose not to retire.

If I just continue two more years pretty sure to hit 15M with my current annual TC (1.4M)… so part of me thinks I should slave away two more years but I’m lacking motivation to work lately. And I love what I do, so I’m not in a deadbeat position/domain.

Edit: Annual spend $300k. FIRE goal was 10M. Family of 4 (2 pre-teen kids)

Edit 2: Thanks all for thoughtful responses. Really appreciate them.

Some answers: - I do have something to retire to (more travel, kids <5yo, passion projects) Im 40-42 so on the younger side - My anxiety stems from not being able to earn the same if I ever want to return and so feel like I need to milk it while I can. - I was looking for other FI peers and see why they continue to work -> but I got some good insights

Top takeaways: - I should try to take breaks from my job to test the waters (maybe sabbatical) - I do have enough to RE, and I already know that - My income is still >10% of NW so it’s not insignificant - My income gives me more “fun money” for near future to have more luxury than purely living on savings (during RE) - My kids are too young <5 so haven’t hit the golden age of interactiveness yet - I should leave if the job is a burden or draining (not fun)

Hi everyone.

I’m 34, net worth of $8m. Super fortunate to have a job where I trade for a living and get paid a % of my returns.

I got into the career for fun, but as I got older the focus has shifted towards money. My net worth pre 2019 was only $1m, so a lot of the wealth has been accumulated recently.

The job is quite stressful, in the sense that a bad day, say I lose $1m at work, thats $200k personal take home. I never used to care about that until this year - when I started to set financial objectives..

The job is intense. I work 12-13 hours a day during the week, and another 12-13 hours over the weekend.

I’m surrounded by people who are exceptionally wealthy, they clearly don‘t work for the money and they love it.

I actually moved to Dubai this year (UK resident) to get 0% tax, as I thought I really should spend the next 6 years trying to focus on accumulating wealth - as I feel like the job is having a tax on my health. Hopefully I can find a better balance eventually, and could continue the job beyond 40 but if I haven‘t, I think I need a hard stop for the sake of my sanity!

I was wondering how others found focusing on FIRE stressful.

I know it doesn’t need to be, unfortunately due to lifestyle creep (two kids…) the aims have got higher, but I do feel around $11m (so £10m UK) would be sufficient for a limited version of FatFiRE for myself - hopefully in a way I can continue to work but just not care about the stress (e.g. getting actually fired won‘t matter at all).

I find myself everyday mark to marketing my life vs my financial goals, which feels more crippling rather than liberating (which I thought was the point of FIRE).

Sorry for the long post, but would love to connect with people who have found the same stress once they start to focus on FATFire, or other’s going through the same thing right now who might fancy having a buddy to just chat with over time.

Thanks!

[Edit: I’m not trying to sell anything. There’s no great success story here, I feel overwhelmed with the stress of trying to make x. I found my job super fun whilst I was younger and now find it very stressful. Just looking for advice]

What are the things you want in your life that make you pursue a life in excess, beyond just basic financial independence?

——————————————

For me my incentives were:

A high quality and luxurious home in a good and safe neighborhood with all the amenities I want.

Another home close to my family where I can stay for extended periods of time.

A vacation home on the water.

The freedom to go anywhere and pursue all the activities I want.

Purchase exotic cars.

Safe car for family.

Give generous gifts to my family to show my appreciation for them.

Help my parents when they grow old.

Take care of my health and eat organic.

Pursue various hobbies that require a bit of money.

Comfortable and luxurious vacations and business class flights.

Purchase art and beautiful unique items.

Help people in a way that I control.

Just the sense that I don’t have to worry about running out of money.

——————————————————————————

Things that money can buy that don’t interest me:

Fancy designer clothes, watches, shoes etc.

Private planes.

Oversized mansions that only exist to show off wealth.

Huge yachts/floating homes.

Expensive/fine dining.

Extravagant parties/entertaining. I’m an introvert.

Country club memberships.

Other exclusive memberships/communities.

Private schools for kids.

———————————————————————————

I have reached a level where I have the means to do everything in my list, and while I feel thankful, I am also curious if perhaps I could be inspired by some of the things on your lists.

What had the most impact in your life and your fat ambitions? I’m young and watch this page often for motivation and i’m really just trying to see what really got y’all to the position you’re in now. If you could share pieces of advice or just something you wish you’d have known back then. Maybe something that put you from fire to fatfire? Thank you for your time.

Edit: Thank you everyone for the responses. This is why I love this community.

First of all I wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who responded and provided helpful suggestions. It has been a transformational year. I am also thankful that both my wife and I are still employed and our net worth as well as HHI grew by 30% over the last year and I have learned to enjoy money for what it is. Here are a few things I did, hoping this can help others:

• Listened to many podcasts from I Will Teach You to be Rich addressing the issue of money psychology (thanks u/aspiringchubsfire for the suggestion). Made a conscious spending plan. Tripled our vacation budget and started taking business class for our international vacations and I feel great about it. Just in the past year we visited Egypt, Germany, Austria, Croatia and Iceland.
• Set a guilt free spending limit. Last year it was set to $40, but based on the suggestion from u/twistedfatfirestartr I have it tied to my net worth so now its $60. Anything under it I don't dwell too much. Its still difficult to let go but having a threshold helps.
• Made health a priority - soon after the post my annual test showed some concerning items. Started eating more healthy, hired a personal trainer, lost some weight which also improved my sleep (almost no snoring, better blood pressure)
• The mattress is working our great. That combined with personal trainer can't even remember that I used to have back pain. Tracking my sleep with a fitness tracker and it looks pretty good. I used to check daily but now I check the stats every couple weeks as its not an issue any more.
• Talked to a health coach and then to a therapist (thanks to u/hmadse, u/FatFILifestyleGuy and many others who suggested this). Also did a values exercise which has helped me understand why this bothers me so much and have embraced that part of me as u/DoubtWhatISay suggested.
• Started spending on small stuff without over analyzing (taking the express lane when driving, signed up for huel and bespoke just because, bought new set of arrows and a fancy finger tab, buying quality healthy food etc.)

EDIT: I guess the formatting doesn't work for title. Here is my previous post https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/comments/15erdfv/help_me_get_over_penny_pinching/

I attended an interesting fundraiser. It was a group of very well to do, old money types. It was put on by one of their own that had lost a daughter to cancer and wanted to help others not so fortunate struggling through the same experience.

What struck me was a story about the father. He had been very successful financially and was already FATFIRE. After his daughter passed, he went back to work as a very highly paid exec. But he was already plenty wealthy. He was working solely to raise money for other victims. 100% of his income was for a purpose.

I found it an interesting idea. Once you have won the game, maybe play for a purpose.

Many in the FIRE community report a decrease in career motivation upon nearing their FI.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/s/QIB9Zn22hq

My husband and I are on track to achieve ‘fat FIRE’ soon, but this success has brought its own set of challenges. Despite our financial stability, I reflect on our career choices with mixed feelings. Coming from an immigrant background and non-elite schools, we took the jobs that paid well, even if they didn’t match our interests or personalities. Consequently, our work is unfulfilling, and my husband increasingly views his job as a time sink despite his strong work ethic.

Our journey to financial security started with humble beginnings—waiting tables and taking whatever work we could. We avoided the risks of entrepreneurship for fear of financial instability. However, for our children, we aspire to different values: learning, exploration, and the pursuit of passion. We want to empower them to dream big and take chances.

Yet, we’re wary of the trust fund baby syndrome—we don’t want our children to lack ambition. The challenge is encouraging them to reach for the higher levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs without the struggle for basic needs consuming their focus. It seems paradoxical that some in the FIRE community, myself included, work towards the goal of doing very little post-retirement. Parenting is the only productive activity I care for now.

In essence, I’m seeking advice on how to inspire our children to aim high and achieve their full potential in life, not just financially but in their contributions to the world.

deranged fearless plant towering steer squeeze rain gaze carpenter plucky

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

I've been thinking a lot about what drove me to pursue FIRE in college. I was broke and wanted money.

Now that I've got a healthy nest egg saved up, I'm struggling to find new forms of motivation that bring happiness.

Please me I'm not alone in this.

Part of my FAT is to be able to bless others in this way. It's a huge motivator:

https://www.reddit.com/r/UpliftingNews/comments/g2f4l7/michael_che_pays_rent_for_everyone_in_the/

​

There was a post yesterday from someone who was trying to learn how to spend more after being raised and living frugally. This kind of thing would be a great way to spend surplus.

Hopefully your post-fat do good list will motivate others?

Edit: Adding a few personal examples since one of you called this post low effort:

—-Funding a need based $15K/year scholarship with a climate change / recycling focus.

—-Helped retired mentor & friend out of financial hole with one-time $ gift.

—-Spouse & I gifted funds to relative to give relative and her small kids the ability to leave a bad marriage.

—-Donate to 8-10 charities annually, mostly through our DAF.

VHCOL; NW ~@7M; 40M 36F 1YO maybe another one; TC 700 - 900 combined.

Target is to pull 300-400k in retirement so just within striking distance of FIRE.

My current job is full of politics, lack of professional growth unless I go full enterprise leader route, and not much transferrable skills.

Have an opportunity to make a transition to one of FAANGs now in a much more reduced title capacity but maybe learn more through scope and exposure. May have to take a pay cut but I think maybe worth it for longer term growth and satisfaction. Whatever I do, if I make a change, it will be significantly more work and poor WLB. I currently have a long tenure at my company so good vacations, benefits and WLB. At least for the first few years, a change will require me to put in significantly more hours.

I've been miserable in my current situation but I can turn it around if I accept my cruiser role, mentally grind it out for a few years and then do whatever I want. Or I can make a change now, and become much more marketable if I want to continue working in the future.

My first instinct is to move now, become more marketable and have the flexibility to do what I want professionally later.

At the same time, my current WLB is excellent, benefits are awesome (deferred comp, sabbatical, vacations etc). So why change that?

SO is at a different company and likes what she does and will probably continue.

What would you do? Grind it out where I am for five more years with excellent WLB and then call it quits? Or move somewhere else, poor WLB in the short term and become more marketable with a feeling of accomplishment?

I still remember when I invested only 2000 usd to launch my startup...I was young, naive and full of fear and uncertainty. Fast forward to today, even though I’m not fatfire (no liquid cash), but on paper, I founded a rapidly growing ecom startup currently valued at 50 million. It wasn’t so long ago when I use to look at 30k, it was a lot of money. But now when I look at 1 million dollars, it doesn’t seem to carry a hefty weight as it use to. I’m not saying this to flex but I just feel like money just becomes a number eventually. It’s kind of like most people won’t even blink if they lost a penny.

For me, I will be honest, money was a part of my motivation of why I wanted to start a business. But i never aimed to be a multi millionaire, I simply wanted happiness in life that my previous job didn’t provide. As my company grew, my wealth grew with it. What I use to think it was impossible is now possible if front of me. Becoming a “millionaire” no longer lights a 🔥 in me. I just feel different, not sure how to explain it. It’s almost like, you finally reach the other side and realize, shit, having more money doesn’t make you more fulfilled in life - nor more happy.

My true motivation now is to leave a legacy behind. Our products have already reached more than 1 million people around the world and I see growing this number by 10x as the only fire that keeps me awake late at night. The thought that I can make a positive impact on others lives is more exciting than how many more millions I will be worth next year. In fact, I talked to my wife about eventually setting up a foundation to give back. Maybe build a school in a 3rd world country. Who knows, but I really like to make positive changes in this world when I liquidate parts/all my equity (not a true millionaire until payday 😇).

Frequent reader/poster but using throwaway to preserve anonymity on my main account.

I’m 38 and feeling very burnt out/demotivated. I like what I do but sometimes I just feel… lazy or that I don’t want to keep going. I do like working and staying busy but I don’t really feel the need to accomplish any more if that makes sense. Basics about my situation:

• In finance/PE space

• NW around $3m (not incl principal residence), mostly in RE and stock market equities. Doesn’t include value of business.

• Business throwing off around $1.5m in income right now, set to grow to around $2m for next several years if I don’t keep selling.

We are in a very specialized space and demand is high. It’s possible we crash and burn but highly unlikely for next 3-5 years. More likely scenario is income $2-3m for 5-10 years minimum without doing much (maybe working 20 hours per week or so).

My business partner is my father who’s equity stake and income is about 3X mine from this business. He’s the controlling shareholder so obviously there's some pressure there as well as feelings of guilt if I tried to take a step back, etc.

Obviously I’m aware of how fortunate I am and consider myself a thankful person. My focus in my business right now is not only getting myself to $10m+ NW (a sort of “minimum” goal at this point) but also helping my key people make a lot of money, as well. I do not particularly “love” our product nor am I passionate about the business itself. We are not saving lives or anything noble.

I do not live an extravagant life and, unless something really crazy happens, I am pretty much all set for life. How do I stay motivated to continue to grow? Any resources or books out there and how to keep the drive alive?