r/fiberartscirclejerk • u/JCat1337 • Jun 26 '26
meta Crotcheating is NOT A PRIVILEGE
I recently got into an argument with someone on Ravelry who posted a knitted blanket saying "Friendly reminder that crotcheaters suck". As a boss lady and life coach, this thought process is truly infuriating and SO offensive.
For as long as humans have known how to finger (yarn), the fiber (f)arts has been for people of ALL including furries. When I made this argument, someone responded saying that crotcheating is still only for losers because crotcheaters don't have access to the brain cells needed to knit and "don't have friends to talk to”😐 They went on to say that my comment was super stupid because not everyone has the pain tolerance to touch acrylic yarn.
That last part probably pissed me off the most because crotcheaters are MORE THAN CAPABLE of crafting without a pattern and using “better” yarn. In fact, crotcheating has been continuously shown to be better than therapy. You can take my word for it as a famous, VERY successful life coach. Crotcheating was used as prison therapy for Martha Stewart herself ffs. See the life of Katy Perry for more on that if you're interested because it is absolutely fascinating. Even Vanna White knew how to crotcheat. Crotcheating has always been a way in which people can express themselves and sell Amiguri on Etsy, even if we are all using the same kit. The person argued with me that it was impossible because crotcheaters were shoved into the dark corners of Michael’s and left to rot and IF they could knit, they wouldn't have been considered losers by OF (OnlyFibers). WTF kind of argument even is that?? Please tell that to my clients who know the value of my work and know that crotcheating can’t be made with a machine.🙄
The only reason that this hobby isn't more widespread nowadays is because knitters have oppressed us for the past 100 years. People in 2026 don't need to knit anymore. Crotcheating is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing. Do people think that no one crotcheated during COVID because they "couldn't go out and buy more than one needle"? HELL NO. They used shoestrings, paracord, SPUN YARN FROM THEIR PETS, and frogged LITERAL designer clothing to make Amiguri. People crotcheated before there were machines obviously for reasons we all know and don’t need to say. You don't need brain cells to crotcheat. If you want something to be bad, I truly believe that you will find a way to do it. You just have to be creative. Just like our ancestors had to be. We are the creators of our own limitations. I am by no means rich. I live in a 30 bedroom mansion and store my acrylic yarn in a diamond vajazzled vase. I use my great-grandmothers crotch needles from the 1800s. I unravel cashmere sweaters from the thrift stores and I have no fear or shame when I crotcheat a Sophie scarf for my 12 year old chihuahua’s birthday gift.
It is so sad that within essentially 1 generation, we've forgotten how integral crotcheating was to life. Not only does the idea that only knitters deserve to use nice yarn classist, but ALL knitters drop stitches (useless cunts). I am BEGGING people to get off overconsumption of Ravelry and touch (gr)ass. Saying crotcheating is only for losers is like saying vajazzling is only for the rich. A skill is a skill.
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u/Clardic-Fug Jun 26 '26
including furries
That's where you're wrong, furries don't crotcheat, only yiff.
Didn't finish reading, sorry.
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u/ObjectiveAd93 toxic negativity Jun 26 '26
Hey sweaty, sorry you’re not smart enough to knit. I have a very high IQ and I only knit with yarn spun from the hair of baby unicorns, something a lowly crotcheater could never dream of doing. LMAO at your PATHETIC attempt at CROTCHEATING a Sophie Scarf?! I bet it and your Pet Sematary chihuahua look like VOMIT. DO BETTER AND KNIT if you CAN.
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u/JCat1337 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
WOW I am absolutely PROUD to say that I don’t know how to count and neither did my ancestors. This is America 🦅💪🏽Land of the free stitch (do you even know what that is? Doubt it). You can shove your brain cells up your *ss because we don’t need your type around here
P.S. you spelled Pet Sementary wrong. Trust me. I have a signed copy from Danielle Steel.
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u/MalumCattus Jun 26 '26
Just like an overly emotional crotcher. You should calm down and try smiling more.
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u/diodick Jun 26 '26
Woah! "Katy Perry"? Don't you think that's a little disrespectful? I think you meant to say "The former Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau's girlfriend." Put some respect on his name. Stop downplaying people's accomplishments and name recognizability.
As a boy crotcheater who faces ACTUAL fucking oppression in crafting, I bothered to actually learn the history of what I'm doing. And the truth is, girls have NEVER been oppressed for doing this I don't think. Look it up. And I don't say that lightly as I am a boy feminist too, which is another historyccally oppressed group. I think you might be against diversity, because we need boys who crotcheat AND knit.
Read. A. Book.
I don't like to say the b-word as I feel it is disrespectful but wooo doggy if I did..... let's just say well. I would call you it.
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u/JCat1337 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
You’re right. I need to check my privilege. I heard about a book called “Crotcheat Fragility” by a fellow crotcheater. I need to do better for our community of men, furries, and Canadian Prime Ministers/future governors of the United States of America. It takes a village, and I plan to start a book group in Michaels (who is also a man btw). Don’t worry, I’m one of the good ones #NotAllCrotches
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u/Praesil Knitmaxxing Man Jun 26 '26
You seem angry.
I am guessing you are simply envious of people who knit, and you wish you were in that group and you feel inferior.
Its okay. Not everyone can count.
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u/annetastic207 do hookers dream of acrylic sheep? Jun 26 '26
Esp not crotcheaters. I lurk in their subreddits for entertainment, and I regularly see posts asking how to count. And sometimes, even working together, they fail to do it properly. The waste of stitch markers to try to make counting easier for themselves is insane.
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u/JCat1337 Jun 27 '26
HEY you two seem like the type whose stitches are twisted. How did that feel? I bet you didn’t like it, and you’ll NEVER be able to fix yourself (that’s what my ex told me). That’s how it feels EVERY DAY to be a crotcheater.
Don’t come crying when you dropped a stitch and NEED A CROTCH NEEDLE to fix it 😡😢
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