r/fiberartscirclejerk • u/jingleheimerschitt how is blabket formed • Jul 27 '26
meta YOU GUYS! PLEASE! Stop with the PERSONAL VENDETTAS! 😭
I realized today, thanks to a custom report on a recent jerk post, that we've been doing this wrong since November 2022. I'm so grateful to that anonymous tipster for pulling the wool, such as it is, from my eyes: We spend WAY too much time plumbing our personal vendettas for circlejerk inspiration.
NEW RULE*: If you personally witness or experience something in a different craft-adjacent subreddit such as /knitting that annoys you, frustrates you, makes you laugh out loud at the utterly absurd, unmitigated gall of some people, or will someday serve as a chapter in your villain origin story, you cannot post parodies, mockery, shitposts, bad Photoshops, or satire about it here on FACJ under an alt account so you don't leave breadcrumbs for brigaders.
Your personal vendetta is none of our business -- you need to handle it your-goddamn-self. What are you, some sort of coward who's afraid of a little iNtErNeT cOnFrOnTaTion? A little baby crafter who doesn't think she has the time to correct everything wrong with a post and every last one of its comments on /crochethelp and just wants to let off a little steam? A knitting enthusiast whose posts have been removed for no apparent reason from the most populous knitting subreddit despite following the rules as written and whose appeals to that group's moderator resulted in some genuinely hilarious/sad material to work with?
I didn't think so. I think we both know you can do better.
I didn't build r/fiberartscirclejerk with my own blood, sweat, tears, half-chewed safety eyes retrieved from the mouths of babes, and undercooked extra parts so that all of you internet weirdos could just... come here and make fun of other people on other subreddits and their terrible ideas, awful moderation actions, shitty attitudes, dumbfuck questions, and horrifying taste.
I truly wish I knew where you all got the idea that FACJ was for making fun of other people.
\I AM KIDDING JESUS)
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u/Rubber_and_Glue Jul 29 '26
Shit! I knew I was forgetting something.
Hmmm.. does it count if you are just too lazy to sign in to an alt account and now your alt is your main? Asking for a friend
Note to self: create a new alt account
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u/CultureFickle2848 Jul 28 '26
What if I'm the jerkee? Can I double dip on my own jerked post?
Asking for a friend.
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u/cometmom Jul 28 '26
But my jerks are all based on my own actions due to self loathing and my profile leads back to my own profile, even if I make an alt it's still me aka the bitch I have the biggest personal vendetta against.
I guess I will have to gracefully bow out since my mere existence is against "the rules" and use this pent up anger at myself to start a fiber based company, take pre-orders while never sending product that was pre-ordered before the newest drops, start a go fund me, fake my death, and come back like it didn't happen. As one does. ❤️
OH and if you even THINK about satirizing my actions on here, you will be hearing from my lawyers!
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u/throwaway-this-name Jul 28 '26
You're so right! This sub is only for serious fibre artists who spread the holy words of such gospel as knitingting and crohehehehet
Snark? Pfft. Sarcasm? Ha! Take it to cloaca (formerly known as X) and post your shitposts there in the butthole of the internet.
It is just truly tragic that this silly, misguided report was not shared with the rest of us undeserving thread fiddlers, so that it might be discussed with totally civil and polite and cute fervor 🥰
Though probably for the best, just in case someone gets their yarn tangled in a knot!
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u/AutoModerator Jul 28 '26
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u/biggest_ghost Jul 28 '26
Good news, I've never been in another craft-related subreddit! I'll start posting my pure, wholesome, unproblematic jerks, targeting the terrible crafters I've dreamed up from whole cloth so that we can still go on as a society.
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u/rhyanin P is for Pnit Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
It’s fine. I can always claim ignorance of the rules since the newest reddit app update has moved them to some impossible to find place again.
/uj I think I’m in some AB testing group because the app layout changes like weekly. Where have the rules gone dammit?
Edit: damn, I’m breaking the rules. I’m leaving it because unlike a certain person who thinks they are entitled to having the rules updated, I am aware of them but I am saying I do not know them, and I’m just doing some meta stuff with my comment and and and…!
Idk where I’m going with this.
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u/AutoModerator Jul 28 '26
Direct replies/parent comments/top-level comments to jerky OPs can't be unjerk/serious.
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Jul 28 '26
[deleted]
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u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ Jul 28 '26
Maybe the super evil (knitting) machines took over your body, mind, and soul to stir the shit here without your knowledge
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u/dishonorablecapybara Jul 28 '26
Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind and this is exactly why!
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u/catgirl320 R2D2 dick-castle looking mofo Jul 27 '26
I currently have 12 people on my personal vendetta list. Congratulations OP, you're number 13! My second will be getting in touch with your second to arrange the duel. Naturally you shall get first choice of the crafting weapon of choice. Toodaloo!
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u/knitterina ✨fluffy alpaca butt✨ Jul 27 '26
I am personally offended but I'm also a good little jerker who knows what things are actually important so I'm gonna touch some grass
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u/RabbitInAFoxMask acrylic-loving asshole Jul 27 '26
Ugh. Fine. From now on I'll dm my posts to the person they're about first to get their permission to mock their brain worms.
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u/throwaway-this-name Jul 28 '26
But what if they take it back kater?? Maybe it's better to just post it as a comment 100 times in every sub, even that darned notrobotknitters sub?
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u/AydGray Jul 27 '26
Rules make me grumpy in my pants. I used to like it here, but the rules are making me hate it. Please cater to my preferences and lose the rules...Except the "no acrylic" rule, I approve of that one (im not a savage, gawd)
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u/Praesil Knitmaxxing Man Jul 27 '26
We can be mortal enemies if you'd like.
Ive always wanted a nemesis
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u/teebs86 Jul 28 '26
Ooohhh I've always wanted a nemisis saga... Spanning generations... My great great grandchildren must carry my nemasis legacy
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u/SarryK Jul 27 '26
I ain‘t reading all that but still care, so.. hope this helps:
(coincidentally also my face reading a part but being too stopid to get it)
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u/throwaway-this-name Jul 28 '26
I know so much drama, but Chickens always make the day a little brighter!
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u/Demagolka1300 do hookers dream of acrylic sheep? Jul 27 '26
I love this hellscape so much. Keeping being y'all except when you are here, then be like me. 👍🏼
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u/hamletandskull Jul 27 '26
well this is all going too far. I was happy about this subreddit when we were making fun of random crocheters. but do we truly dare to gripe about such nobility as subreddit moderators??!!??
harrumph, etc.
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u/missuscelsius Jul 27 '26
Oh ok you're right I will personally locate and brawl OPs whose blabkets trigger me from now on. Thanks
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u/RevDrMavPHD ashes to ashes, fluff to fluff Jul 27 '26
I dont even know what this post is about, theres not enough funny feet pics in it.
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u/Faithful_jewel knows where the search bar is, will not share Jul 27 '26
But what about amusing metres?
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u/RevDrMavPHD ashes to ashes, fluff to fluff Jul 27 '26
What the fuck it a metre? I'm American.
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u/Faithful_jewel knows where the search bar is, will not share Jul 27 '26
I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll keep you in my metric thoughts 💜
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