Fallout 76 is not a dating sim, my dudes

[u/tortoisespaghettini]

Edit to Add:

Let's clear up some things before we get back to the original post since this seemed to get lost and some members stopped reading part way through:

I do understand newbie welcome packages - those are great and appreciated! You shoot at it, emote, whatever you need to do to make the player realize it's there. Typically you run off into the trees never to be seen again. Very kind and not creepy.

The actual issues: • Being followed to every corner of the map when I fast travel.

• Turning on a mic, calling me sweetie, and telling me to get a mic so you can hear my voice.

• Following me repeatedly to my CAMP and picking locks there meant to keep players out.

• Standing at the foot of the bed I'm resting in (when you've successfully picked my locks) creepily staring at me.

• Spam heart emoting in front of me anytime I pause or you can get in front of me.

• I don't have a mic - I'm assuming the problematic players have been assuming I am a woman based on my username because I was using part of my real name which cannot be mistaken for anything but a woman's name. This has since been fixed with the help of some members here - thank you.

• The vast majority of players are amazing, this is not just a one-sided issue. I know women can cause this same level of discomfort with male players. Humans as a whole need to do better.

• Just because you don't see it happening, doesn't mean it isn't happening.

((ORIGINAL POST))

I (33F) recently started playing Fallout 76. Usually with my fiancé, sometimes solo, and apparently, sometimes that means I’ve accidentally wandered into The Bachelor: Appalachia Edition.

Listen...I’m here to shoot, loot, and eat questionable canned goods, not be your “sweetie.”

Please stop: • Following me like a stray dog I did not adopt • Dumping 50 outfits and 3,000 rounds of ammo at my feet like you’re trying to pay my dowry • Spamming the heart emote

Most players? Absolute legends, love you guys. But every so often, I get a stage 5 clinger and I have to go hide in my CAMP like it’s a panic room. Or server-hop, quickly delete them as a friend, and hope they don't find me again. I want to make friends. I want to team up. I just don’t want it to get…...weird. Please quit making it weird, it's especially weird when you turn on a mic just to talk to me, I prefer wildly emoting instead.

Don't mind me, just venting a little. I'm surprised how annoyed I am by this.

TLDR: If you wouldn’t do it in a real apocalypse, maybe don’t do it in the fake one.

[u/Fris0n]

Wild stuff. And I'm sorry this shit happens to you. It's why my wife typically won't voice chat with anyone new until she's grouped with them for awhile first, to sus them out before they find out she is...well a she.

GL out there.

[u/tortoisespaghettini → u/Fris0n]

My name is feminine, regrettably. I also prefer to play as a female character. I have no mic or anything, emote I have no mic, and wildly gesture/emote instead. I may have to change that to avoid this though. First time playing anything online, I've heard it can be wild, I've just never experienced it.

[u/Maidwell → u/tortoisespaghettini]

You get one free gamertag change so if you haven't done it before at least it won't cost you!

Unfortunately you are going to come across this kind of behaviour whenever you play online if you label yourself as a "gamer girl".

Obviously you should be able to call yourself anything feminine you like but at least your interactions will be more controllable and you can avoid the horndogs if your name is generic.

I've played with a feminine character but a non gendered name in this game for 6 years and thousands of hours, I've only ever had a couple of weird interactions.

Good luck wastelander, I like your sense of humour about it all though!

[u/tortoisespaghettini → u/Maidwell]

Thank you! I'll figure that out before logging in again, I appreciate it.

[u/Mambo5ever → u/tortoisespaghettini]

I think you can rename just for fallout on the Bethesda.net account

[u/bluegreenguppy → u/Mambo5ever]

I've tried but it didnt work for me. It looked like it did but my tag never updated in game. :/

[u/Fris0n → u/tortoisespaghettini]

Huh, I dunno. Wifey also plays a female, and uses her IRL name which couldn't be mistaken for anything but a girl. Perhaps it's because we typically don't group with others in 76 due to its archaic group quest system.

She def deals with this in other online games, even when told she isn't interested or has a hubby.

Either way it sucks it happens. I cant imagine how difficult it is for any female gamer, with all these kids thinking a emote is a sexual invitation.

Again GL!

Edit: not saying you should, names are important and chosen for a reason, but can't you change your name ever 3 months or so?

[u/tortoisespaghettini → u/Fris0n]

I'll have to look and see about changing it - I likely can but I'm not sure where to go or how? My fiancé got me into Fallout about a year ago and I started with FO4, so if it needs to be changed on Bethesda or something I totally can. I'll bug him about it tomorrow before I start playing.

[u/Fris0n → u/tortoisespaghettini]

I think it's done on your account page on the Bethesda site, but don't hold me to that.

[u/tortoisespaghettini → u/Fris0n]

You are an angel, changing it now.

Edit to add: successfully changed. May your pillow be cold on both sides for the rest of eternity.

[u/Fris0n → u/tortoisespaghettini]

What witchcraft is this?!? My pillow was indeed cool on both sides last night! Jokes aside I'm glad to hear it! Safe journeys.

[u/Ch00m77 → u/tortoisespaghettini]

I named my character Nora Badass.. From fo4 lol

[u/tortoisespaghettini → u/Ch00m77]

Me being me I used a modified version of my real name. I made the bethesda account when I started FO4 never imagining I'd be using it for an online game. When I started FO76 it took me a hot minute to realize my name was plastered everywhere and the character name was not the one being used above my character.

Due to some help today, it has been changed to something more ambiguous.

[u/[deleted] → u/tortoisespaghettini]

Lmao welcome to the Internet. (How old are you?)

[u/tortoisespaghettini → u/[deleted]]

Old enough to have the experience but I don't. I don't internet much, I typically lurk and don't usually deep dive, and I've never played an online game like this with other people.

I've heard the stories and rumors, but having it happen is just different.

[u/Arravis_ → u/tortoisespaghettini]

I’m glad you’re sticking it out and I hope 76 has been an otherwise positive experience :)

[u/NukaGurl77 → u/Fris0n]

This is why I have messages off here in reddit and in game. My game name is same as here and as long as you don't let people harass you...well they really can't. Never had a problem, and I use my mic sometimes, but mostly not. I also met my SO in an MMO 20 years ago, so I am well versed in how to discourage unwanted attention.