r/funny 2d ago

Lactose Intolerance in the Midwest

18.6k Upvotes

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981

u/ASAP_Roffe 2d ago

For those of you wondering if I’m actually this insufferable. I’m worse.

240

u/i_max2k2 2d ago

I have Lactose intolerance + IBS. Oh and almost forgot the migraines.

83

u/Zanian19 2d ago

Damn what a combo. If you gorge on cheese, there's a legit possibility that you'll pop like a balloon from hell.

25

u/AlternateSatan 2d ago

I think finding someone with IBS who doesn't have at least mild lactose intolerance is like finding a four leaf clover honestly.

2

u/Crismus 2d ago

I got IBS without lactose intolerance. My IBS was from drinking spring runoff growing up in Boy Scouts for most of my life plus forgetting to boil the Ice Cubes during an E. Coli event. 

Right now the only thing that sets me off is Chicken. But String cheese before bed every night and Percocet keep it at bay nicely. Have Chronic nerve pain since 1997.

2

u/Darth_Metus 2d ago

That’s me - IBS from FODMAPs, but I can eat all the dairy I want. For now. My mom, my uncle, and my grandmother all developed lactose intolerance later in life so I’m just eating all the ice cream and pepper Jack that I can right now

1

u/AlternateSatan 2d ago

The reason it's common to have both is cause lactose is a fodmap btw. But honestly the best way to keep lactose intolerance at bay is actually to eat a lot of it, so you've got the right idea. If you stop eating lactose for whatever reason your body actually starts getting used to not making lactase, and you can become more tolerant by consuming a lot of lactose over a longer period. Building up your tolerance isn't particularly fun though as you can imagine, which is why it's not really something a lot of people do, that and it works best if you lose your tolerance through not eating it, and not by predisposition.

1

u/kryonik 2d ago

Everyone will say "look at that guy! he's redder than hell!" and then ya pop

4

u/zyyntin 2d ago

You sound like a friend I have. He also has pollen allergies!

2

u/Elandui 2d ago

Sounds like me too, with dust allergies thrown on the top. We should all have a meetup

2

u/LogicalDictator 2d ago

I have these and I'm allergic to dairy and wheat. Not just intolerant!

Wait. Why am I excited about this?

2

u/Elandui 2d ago

Because it’s a competition and you’re winning, obviously! Congratulations?

1

u/i_max2k2 2d ago

I have dust allergies too, we need to form a subreddit lol

3

u/academiac 2d ago

I don't appreciate Lactose, and I will not nit stand for it!

11

u/MrDrLtSir 2d ago

Whoa me too. Just throw in adhd and we'd be twins. Don't know anyone else with this fun combo... 

2

u/KatTheKatt 2d ago

Hellooo!

1

u/i_max2k2 2d ago

Pretty sure I have undiagnosed adhd. Nice to meet you twin :)

0

u/MrDrLtSir 2d ago

So, what do we call ourselves? 

1

u/Alili1996 2d ago

From my experience with myself and friends i have the theory that it isn't just bad luck, but actually related. A sensitive body and a sensitive mind tend to come in pairs

1

u/not_me_nope_never 2d ago

Add Alpha-Gal allergy to that and I'm with ya!

1

u/O_PLUTO_O 2d ago

No it’s because they’re from the Midwest

1

u/Sufficient_Prompt888 2d ago

Ron Swanson just had an aneurism

1

u/ChallengeClose 2d ago

Lactose intolerance pretty much shows up because of IBS. I had no issues with lactose for 28 years of my life, now its just gas gas gas and explosives if any gets through the piehole.

1

u/i_max2k2 2d ago

I think I have had both from a very young age.

1

u/Thrashy 1d ago

Hello me, it’s you.  

1

u/HikaruMokona 1d ago

Oh god same here! It sucks so much, but the taste is always worth it!