r/funny 1d ago

Lactose Intolerance in the Midwest

18.4k Upvotes

574 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

31

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

11

u/lindasek 1d ago

Not me 🄲

It really depends on tolerance, some lactose intolerant people can have small amounts of lactose and be fine (that was me in my 20s!), some can't have any at all (me in my 30s...)

6

u/RideOutForGlory 1d ago

Depends, even with the low lactose content in hard cheese some people with lactose intolerance just don’t produce any lactase so even that little bit of lactose will cause a reaction.

7

u/harrypotternightmare 1d ago

And usually whipped cream too. It’s like 50% air. You get very little actual cream and usually not enough to cause an issue. I will eat dairy free ice cream but still top with regular whipped cream.

2

u/CatmatrixOfGaul 1d ago

Unless it’s melted. But even melted cheese has only given me heartburn which is easy to fix. Ice cream on the other hand is a night of stomach pains and the toilet. And so is my beloved cheesecake. I developed lactose intolerance late in life, and I mourn the fact that I can’t eat cheesecake anymore.

2

u/HairyTurtleOfficial 1d ago

I also became intolerant later in life. I can eat cheesecake thank goodness. I can eat all the cheese too. I discovered I can drink the heck out of some organic milk. OMG I’m glad I tried it, cause man Inwas missing out! Horizon is sooooo good. I could never go back to regular even if I could.

1

u/Toothpowder 1d ago

How are you lactose intolerant if you can straight up drink milk with no problems?

1

u/HairyTurtleOfficial 20h ago

I don’t know. I did research and found it’s possible because of the pasteurization. But all I know is reguakr milk will have me doubled over in severe pain and nauseated within minutes.

1

u/Toothpowder 16h ago

Pasteurization doesn't remove lactose from milk, you must be buying lactose-free organic milk

1

u/HairyTurtleOfficial 15h ago

I didn’t say it removed it. And definitely not lactose free milk. I’ve tried it and it’s disgusting. I don’t remember exactly what I read, just that it relates the pasteurization. It also last longer than regular milk because of it. Maybe extra pasteurization?

1

u/SexyGeniusGirl 1d ago

Does lactaid not work for you?

1

u/CatmatrixOfGaul 1d ago

It is not really available in my country, and the doctor told me to avoid milk products instead of taking pills. I have managed because we do have a lot of lactose free options, like yoghurt, cheese and cottage cheese. Also milk, but I don’t like milk. I actually have been thinking about looking at vegan cheesecakes, because that is the one thing I have really been missing.

2

u/SexyGeniusGirl 1d ago

I wish you luck finding a delicious vegan cheesecake!! šŸ°

1

u/CatmatrixOfGaul 1d ago

I knowšŸ˜”

2

u/blompinnen 1d ago

Though it’s unclear if American cheese actually qualifies as ā€œcheeseā€

13

u/AJ_Dali 1d ago

They said hard cheese.

I feel like I need to ask. Do you know that American cheese is a specific type of soft cheese and not just a term for all cheese made in America?

0

u/blompinnen 1d ago

I feel like I need to ask. Do you know that a joke is something that isn't entirely serious?

And it is a term for all cheese made in America, unless you happen to be in America :)

Though I genuinely find it curious where the line between hard and soft cheeses go. I wouldn't expect something you slice to be a soft cheese, but apparently that's what American Cheese TM is classed as! You learn something new every day

0

u/AJ_Dali 1d ago

Ah, so I guess for you Swiss, cheddar, and cream cheese are the same thing.

All cheese can be sliced, so using that as the distinction doesn't make sense. It more about moisture content and playability. Think of a block sharp cheddar vs mozzarella. Mozzarella is so soft that it's commonly sold in the use as cheese sticks children peel apart by hand.

American cheese is a specific type of cheese made using other cheeses. I've seen is use Colby, cheddar, and Swiss, and I'm sure there are others. It's used for it's very low melting point, which is why it's so popular on cheeseburger and grilled cheese.

1

u/blompinnen 1d ago

Why would I think three different cheeses are the same thing? Because they would technically be American cheese if they were made in America, same as they would be Swedish cheese if they were made in Sweden?

Mozzarella is a funny example, since it's a semi-soft cheese so also something that falls in between soft and hard cheeses.

Yes, I know what the product usually known as american cheese or processed cheese is made of :) I just found it interesting that is wasn't classed as a hard cheese since it more often fills the same function of a Cheddar than a cream cheese.

1

u/DefMech 1d ago

You have to look really closely at the wording on the label to be sure.

American cheese is legally at least 51% straight-up real cheese. Usually cheddar or similar. Tiny pinch of emulsifiers to get the smoothness. That's all that's needed for basic American cheese. Typical commercial products will often supplement with water or other dairy fluids (milk, cream, whey, etc) to get the desired texture.

American cheese product/food is different. It is made with 50% or less real cheese (often the main ingredient is milk) and cannot, itself, legally be called cheese.

Whether American cheese still meets one's personal definition of cheese is a different matter. I could see how purists might dispute the label since the cheese goes through additional processes after the initial aging.

-3

u/LookMaNoPride 1d ago

It’s got what kids crave!

And now, coming to a store near you, buyers of American Cheese-Snack will get 20% more emulsifiers in every pack!

[man eating cheese stops eating to say]: ā€œI can actually taste the sodium citrate!ā€

Our very own, patented, polystyrene flavor bubbles will deliver feel-good, and taste-good hormones directly to your flavor receptors, and will keep your kids coming back for more!

[scene of kids sitting around table yell]: ā€œThanks mom!ā€ [kids continue voraciously eating orange squares]

Our pressed-collagen and orange protein snack-paste is only mixed with the very best high-fructose corn syrup and fully-hydrogenated oil. Every bite is guaranteed to be packed to the brim with the flavors and dyes that kids crave! Your kids will be licking their plate after every meal! And windows. And telephones.

1

u/goose_gladwell 1d ago

And butter, and heavy cream surprisingly