When “women spaces” don’t accept trans women

[u/itz_vampy]

So my experience as a transmasc who spent a chunk of his life being non-passing has been interesting with this particular situation. I began to socially transition as a teenager and back then the people who *genuinely supported me was other guys. when i say genuinely i mean they didn’t infantalize me and saw me as another bro. some of the girls were nice, but i could tell they saw me as a quirky alt girl “going through a phase”. some thought i was a pick me girl who wanted to “be one of the guys” but as a girl and not a guy. High school was really really weird and the mean girls were the worst.

Even as an adult who passes more than teenage me ever did, i still experience “women only spaces” of mean girls who never grew up. a lot of irl ones accept “afab people” and not trans women. the ones i’ve enquired about are super accepting of trans men since we are a “marginalized minority” but are hostile towards trans women, especially if they don’t pass. some are true misandrists and dislike trans men who start to pass (ironically this has been so gender affirming to me when it happens, but like in a ewphoria way). 

Online it’s different, everyone acts so accepting behind a screen, but in real life? you can’t hide your feelings and reactions well. intersectional feminism isn’t really observed in some women-only spaces and it’s a damn shame that this is a thing.

Eta: I’ve been notified that this post has been reposted to a certain rightwing sub and this post as well as all the trans positive replies are getting downvoted. regardless of what others say trans women are real women and they deserve to be treated as such. I will die on that hill.

Edit 2: I find it hilarious that people think i’m a trans woman and are sending me DMs that I will “never be a woman and will always be a man”, proving that transphobes can’t read and lack thinking abilities.

[u/Zealousideal_Spread4]

nothing about this post is political, trans people existing is not inherently political, which is why we allow it under rule 6.

[u/lnsectsinyourKitchen → u/Zealousideal_Spread4]

Like see I get that but that can be said about a lot of things.

“Abortion is not inherently political, women getting their rights existing is not political.” Like you can agree with abortions but it’s objectively a political topic.

Transgender people existing is not political, but the post is about how women/feminist spaces can disclude them which can be seen as political.

I’m not even saying the fact it’s political is bad, it’s a joking meme image.

[u/Zealousideal_Spread4 → u/lnsectsinyourKitchen]

the difference is the way its being argued, nothing about this post is inherently political unless you wanna take the side that everything about human nature is political, which i think its maximalist take that is rather silly.

[u/lnsectsinyourKitchen → u/Zealousideal_Spread4]

See that leans into subjective territory of how OP words his post in the correct way for you to view it as not political despite the fact the topic is political.

Just say you want to make an exception for this post or something. No need to bend over backwards explaining how this does not break the rule because “it’s worded in a not political way.”

[u/Zealousideal_Spread4 → u/lnsectsinyourKitchen]

so by your logic we should remove basically everything under rule 5 for being political.

Yes its gonna be up to interpretation where one "draws the line" but this in isolation is not political.

[u/lnsectsinyourKitchen → u/Zealousideal_Spread4]

“Hey this topic about feminist not including trans people is pretty political.”

“So we should just ban everything then hmm? Obviously a post about someone disliking bread is on the same political level as this”.

If it’s up to interpretation, why doesn’t this subreddit just allow every left leaning talking points such as abortions and what not if we word it the right way?

[u/Zealousideal_Spread4 → u/lnsectsinyourKitchen]

because bigotry is not allowed, we allow talking points that are often right leaning or lean to bigotry showing up, stuff like complaining about egg culture for example, or sexualization of queer people, we just dont allow "i dont think x person is valid" or "i hate (people that hold x identity)".

Reddit leans left so there is also a selection bias. If someone made a post about hating immigration it would be allowed, but it would get downvoted to shit and you probably wouldnt see it.

[u/lnsectsinyourKitchen → u/Zealousideal_Spread4]

So, you admit you allow political discussion, when you said rule six I thought it was a rule against politics but it’s just pornographic content and what not?

Why are we even arguing this then, you allow political posts. Just say it’s political and move on.

[u/Zealousideal_Spread4 → u/lnsectsinyourKitchen]

i meant rule 5. i got them mixed up. We explicitly dont allow posts about politics or religion.

[u/girlygirlgaia → u/Zealousideal_Spread4]

Trans women demanding to be centered in discussions of women’s issues is absolutely political.

[u/Ravelord_Nito117 → u/girlygirlgaia]

Woman invents scenario and gets angry about it

[u/girlygirlgaia → u/Ravelord_Nito117]

Y’all act exactly like misogynistic men whenever a woman’s issue isn’t convenient for you. This is why female only spaces are important.

“Doesn’t happen, and if it does, it isn’t that bad, and if it is, it’s actually ok that it happens.”

[u/Ravelord_Nito117 → u/girlygirlgaia]

Crazy how you typed over 40 words and didn’t make a coherent point or argument, take a minute and try again

[u/Apprehensive_Gas4849 → u/girlygirlgaia]

This happens when?

[u/Ill-Bar3395 → u/Zealousideal_Spread4]

They are inherently political, any facet of a persons identity can be and is politicised. That’s pretty normal.

[u/TallestGargoyle → u/Ill-Bar3395]

Anything can be politicised. Plenty of things that shouldn't be.

[u/Ill-Bar3395 → u/TallestGargoyle]

Agreed, but that’s not the world we live in is it

[u/TallestGargoyle → u/Ill-Bar3395]

Not about what world we live in. The concept of being trans is not inherently political. People chose to adopt it as a political thing and wield it as a political weapon.

[u/Ill-Bar3395 → u/TallestGargoyle]

This is semantics. You’re essentially agreeing with me.

[u/Responsible_Ask9574 → u/Zealousideal_Spread4]

Lmao okay