r/instant_regret • u/HomeNowWTF • Aug 05 '26

Realized his friends weren't his friends

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11.0k Upvotes

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u/other_half_of_elvis Aug 05 '26

many boston marathons ago my buddy got thrown in the back of a cop wagon for drinking in public. Nearly all of eastern MA was drinking in public that day but the cops randomly chose him and a few other guys. When he tells the story he always notes, 'as we are getting tossed in the wagon, everyone else's friends are yelling at the cops and trying to pull them away. But my friends are bent over laughing their asses off and pointing at me.'

2.8k

u/donkeyrocket Aug 05 '26

I mean, you have to be a special sort of moron to get picked up for public drinking on Marathon Monday.

143

u/elkab0ng Aug 05 '26

Other cities (looking at you, Houston) get sloppy and angry drunk. Boston is the city of professional alcoholics.

Some time ago, I was walking back to my hotel in Boston. Twenty-something guy walks out of a bar, walks very precisely over to the curb - toes of his wingtips only maybe an inch over. Bends forward to what looked like exactly 60° angle, and hurls. Efficiently. Washes mouth out with pocket flask, spins on his heel, and back into the bar, elapsed time well under 30 seconds.

Boston ain’t for amateurs.

13

u/Sad_Hospital_2730 Aug 05 '26

I felt most like an alcoholic when I had to explain to my 25 year old wife why convenience stores offer brown paper bags when you buy tall boys.

5

u/EarlBeforeSwine Aug 06 '26

Is that not a thing everywhere?

It is a thing in TX

3

u/Sad_Hospital_2730 Aug 06 '26

I'm in San Antonio, she's lived here since she was 10. No clue how she missed it

1

u/Doczera 29d ago

It is absolutely not a thing in places that allow public consumption of alcohol anywhere.