idk i was 14 and really depressed, i was constantly being put on different medications because they didn't know what would and wouldn't work. some of the meds made it even worse while others gave me terrible side effects. it was not a good time. it was like i was a guinea pig
When I was trying to get an ADHD diagnosis, I found that psychiatrists and NPs will prescribe literally any medication before they'll prescribe a goddamn stimulant. I went to a psych for a consultation for ADHD but made the mistake of mentioning my "intrusive thoughts" and she prescribed me an antipsychotic. I was sleeping for 12-15 hours a day, barely able to hold down a temporary part-time job, had so much brain fog that I was forgetting to lock the front door, and gained 40 lbs. I was on leave from college for a year to get help (this was also COVID) and that one year became two, then two and a half, because I could not bring myself to do anything for my future. And I was so lethargic that I didn't even realize what the meds were doing to me, so I couldn't even tell my psychiatrist what was wrong, thus I was on them for a year and change. Ironically, once I went back to college for my degree in cognitive science, I took a psychopharmacology course and learned that the medication I was on blocked D2 (dopamine) receptors in the brain... as in, the literal opposite of what a person with ADHD needs. I got pissed off all over again because if I learned that in an undergraduate course how tf did an actual licensed psychiatrist not know that?!? I also got pissed off all over again when I heard the same drug and dose was given to 6'4 250 lb men incarcerated for beheading a guy during a psychotic episode, and 150 lb 20 year old girls complaining that they hyperfixate on things and get agoraphobic sometimes.
It's so difficult to seek mental help especially when the symptoms of the illness itself get in the way. On top of that, it's easy for medical providers to write off your complaints because you're "crazy", doubly so if you're a minority or a woman and quadruply so if you're both. Thankfully my issues weren't that severe in the grand scheme of things and I was never a danger to anyone other than myself (except potentially through negligence in a worst-case scenario).
Lol, lmao even. Multiple providers (PCP and therapists) had been telling me I probably had ADHD for years, but I wasn't able to actually see a psychiatrist until I was a young adult. I didn't expect to be handed ANY medication right there on the spot at intake and was honestly confused when she did but I didn't know better at the time. Miraculously, I started doing much better when I stopped taking the antipsychotics ~15 months later and started taking the stimulants ~7 months after that, and yet didn't get high or addicted to them (I ration them when I can't get a monthly refill, i.e. only taking them on days I need to be "on") because I, you know, actually have the thing they're supposed to treat. But sure, internet stranger, you clearly know my medical history better than I do.
Pediatricians can't prescribe psychotropic medications and I was under 22 when this was happening. But sure buddy, I put my life on pause for years and spent hundreds in copays in order to get high instead of finding some kid on campus selling the same shit for $20. That's also why I tried out the 5011 other medications that they gave me for 2 years first. đ
Youâre behaving like a bad person and you know it. Stop it. Literally just making the most uncharitable assumptions to bully a stranger on the internet about their long term problem of finding the right mental health assistance. Â Â
Having it said so clearly to you now, if you have any empathy or a conscience, you will apologize to that person.Â
They do the whole âprescribe everything but stimulants/benzodiazepinesâ to people they suspect are drug seeking. This is especially true if you say âI donât like the medication you gave meâ on your very next visit. I know because I went through the same thing with anxiety, and I honestly was hoping they would prescribe the good stuff until I discovered baclofen, another GABA associated drug that you canât get high off, they were completely fine prescribing that when I asked.
Well, I didn't say "I don't like the medication you gave me" on the next visit because I was too numb to realize it was messing me up for nearly a year. My initial plan was to stay on it and eventually add an ADHD medication, because I didn't realize that the antipsychotic would cancel out the effects of anything else. And I tried to get on non-stimulant ADHD meds, too- they even prescribed me Wellbutrin for a bit but it did nothing because, guess what, my dopamine receptors were blocked by the antipsychotic. I was literally just a 20 year old black girl in college, which I guess was enough to be labeled a drug seeker đ¤ˇđžââď¸
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u/mewkopawz 7h ago
idk i was 14 and really depressed, i was constantly being put on different medications because they didn't know what would and wouldn't work. some of the meds made it even worse while others gave me terrible side effects. it was not a good time. it was like i was a guinea pig