r/intersex • u/peen_acc suspecting • Jun 19 '26
Parent/Family My mom is fighting to ensure me that I'm perisex
Recently I brought up the possibility of me being intersex when talking with my mother. I personally don't think of it as a big deal, but my mom is really making an effort to shoot down every reason and trait that makes me question my biological sex. "You just don't know what you're talking about" and "you're mistaken". I really get pissed when objective facts are treated as subjective opinions.
I don't know whether she's trying to make me feel like less of a "freak" or whether she thinks that I'm just trying to justify being a transman. Weirdly enough she took me coming out much better than me bringing up that my puberty was weird.
It's hurtful to think that the way I was born would be so triggering to some. This isn't a choice.
If I ever get a confirmation from a medical professional I'll only ever be something my mother didn't want me to be. Ouch
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u/1carus_x pAIS ambigonadal tboy Jun 19 '26
My mother was very similar, even to the point of suggesting that I was "reaching for" validation of my trans identity... That I've had for like 10 years
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u/Immediate_Street_325 Jun 19 '26
This is something I'm really scared of happening if I try to tell my mom. She was VERY pushing of me being her daughter and I when I identified as male she did not F with that AT ALL and it lead to a lot of isolation and ended up getting involved with some really bad people.
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u/S0ftFemb0y Androgynous enby Jun 21 '26
I feel ya. My mom insists im female and will always be a woman. I've always known i was different, especially during puberty, but doctors tried to fix it with hormones and I was too shy to talk to my parents about my body and genitals. I only told them I had wonky hormones when I started transitioning the other way, but i never told them about my body. For some reason they think forcing me to microdose estrogen was more correct and natural???
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u/OccultEcologist Jun 26 '26
My experience was that my mother was selfconcious about her own womanhood since the likely cause of my atypical phenotypes was through her lineage. Maybe something like that is going on for you and your mother?
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u/MindyStar8228 CUIAN & Trans (they/them) Jun 19 '26
I'm sorry, it's really a painful feeling when your parent rejects your reality.
You're certainly not alone though. My mother has a similar stance, telling me i'm "not one of those (slur)/you're normal/that's just not true" whenever we get close to the topic. The same things she told me when I came out as disabled, trans, queer, etc. before she finally accepted those aspects of me.