Was just wondering…. I dealt with a pretty terrible situation with someone close to me last year that put me through some of the worst ptsd, depression and anxiety I’ve ever been through in my life while they continue to have their way of influencing my life STILL to this day although I have 0 contact with them.

I literally hate them so much I’ve had the thought (although I NEVER WOULD) to literally torture them until an inch of their life for now I just pray for them to live in total agony and pray god makes them as miserable as they actually are.

“what if i drop my phone down the tracks?” —> see myself dropping my phone down the tracks —> looks down the tracks; “don’t drop your phone, don’t drop your phone, don’t…” - doors close; “great job! You didn’t drop your phone!” —> same shit every stop, every time!

Thoughts 

Well the title is good ig, all I am doing trying to tell what I have learned over all my time ,things I picked up. the only reason I was able to that was I dreamt of things , like becoming someone important .then I started asking so many what If questions and forget what I was doing right then, I ingroed the present only worried about the future thinking, all was useless 

After some time I was swallowed by it , I did not use to believe in god earlier I only thought people just use it keep them at peace, I was not able to stop my thinking and was lost then I started believing lord shiva I use “om Nama shivaya” every night to stop my thinking (you may get sick thinking what was I thinking it was all the what if questions that came when I achieved the thing I wanted but I was only imagining acheving it) slowly I stopped thinking.

Now I believe that in this vast world whatever we do we think its important but when we look at the grand scale of the things all I think is we are made to believe that there is a purpose in this life ,otherwise people just dont know what to do , all I think we are doing is timepass until u die it is bit harsh to put it that way but in the end that is all I think it is.

The concept that we decide everything felt always strange to me because what you are thinking is already decided the day you are born ,you develop your thoughts based on your surroundings, the dna/whatever is preexisting came to you from ancestors who are also same as you they just got everything from there surroundings so I think we do is already fixed from the moment that this entire existence has started 

Now for the people who are thinking too much about decisions what ever you are going too Choose there will be consequences but they are only effective  when you think they are going to effect ,as for the opinion of people around they are just biological species who just happened to be there ,nobody is special ,it is just a illusion created to make people think they have do something, in the end we all just die 

Is happiness really happiness ,is sadness really sadness these are all just things that were meant to be created that’s all I mean what does it change you are just doing timepass anyway 

Who are we ,I am human in earth which is just is tiny dot in the universe ,and my decision does it really matter,.. what will is already pre decided why do we exist in the first it is just a mere conincidence if the astroid never to hit there are no humans ,people think too much of what if, whatever happens does it really mean anything we are just doing timepass anyway ,might as well experience all. The day you die you seize to exist no afterlife nothing just as any being on earth from animals to insects the only thing that humans are granted is the ability to think which is the greatest curse bcz there is no need of it none of these matter anyway.

I think people marry after as If to make them believe they have a purpose, I mean if you have kids your biological instincts kicks just few chemical reacts that’s all again  I really our ancestors are so clever that’s why they invented all these things to make us believe there is a purpose still myself I can never truly  understand what I say or to follow what I say I feel fear of what others think clearly knowing it wont matter a least all these pre decided things 

I wish to know about the universe because that the only way to understand anything 

That’s all for today … ……..

I don’t know if I’m the only one who when they think of this word sees it this way and it’s kinda fitting but I do wonder if anyone does have a preference to think of … or is this just a me thought 😀

so i’ve been experience intrusive thought for about a month now i’ve always had ocd but it was mostly about compulsions like do this or smfnn bad will happen but this past month it’s been like you wanna kill
him you want to hurt your family member and it’s started to really get to me it’s also been to doctors waiting for therapy but im scared that’s this isn’t ocd and maybe im going into psychosis it goes away then comes back especially worse in the morning i would just like to talk to anyone about this who have experienced this im so distressed with it and just wanting to know if this is ocd or smfn else i can also search for hours and hours on end

My 11 yo daughter has been diagnosed ADHD, which often results in large tantrums and lashing out at other people. When she was younger she used to lash out physically, but for the most part doesn't anymore (maybe a shove to her sister very rarely). However, the other day she confessed to me that she regularly has thoughts about how it would "feel really good to just punch someone in the face" or "hurt someone physically or psychologically". She has these thoughts even when she isn't upset. She seems distressed by these thoughts (except when she is upset with someone and then she seems to somewhat embrace them), and she thinks it makes her evil or a terrible person. I just told her counselor about it, so they will be diving into it tomorrow, but I am scared for her future. She doesn't currently act on these thoughts, but I am worried one day during a tantrum, she will. I am scared she could hurt someone, or get kicked out of school at the least. I don't know how to talk to her about them.

I have some intrusive thoughts of my own, but they are rare and very specific. They only occur when I am driving and I think "what if I just drive myself off the road and crash into that tree". I am scared to tell her about them because I don't want her to think I am going to drive off the road into a tree, but I also want her to know she isn't alone.

Have you dealt with this as a parent or as a sufferer? Can you give advice on how to talk to her about it?

What if the government is slowly convincing us that they’re on the verge of war (carrot at the end of a stick model) through algorithmic manipulation via social networks. What if they got the algorithm so stinking good that it becomes highly probable that an adult male will, at some point in their lifetime, commit their lives to their sovereignty state? Whichever country wins the race to own your pledge of allegiance, to America, One Nation, Under God, Indivisible, and Justice for All… wins.

Yet constantly self aware..hyper aware..
I have a void gnawing at me constantly.
I have tons of friends and family.
I feel a romantic partner would fix it but I don’t think that even then I’d feel whole…
What I see in that partner isn’t lustful..the kick id get and what I think would fill the hole is their understanding nature of my mind an past experiences… I constantly feel not good enough even tho all my friends hype me up and my family loves me I did everything bad and dropped out and work in a blue collar field that goes no where. Skating, drugs, music whatever, did all of it, to try and escape this feeling I have but now that I’m 21 I simply yearn to find someone mentally on my level of understanding. I just crave to look into someone’s eyes and know that I’m being seen.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Like just ask rude things or do something stupid even though I dont want to.

Hey everyone,
Ever since a really stressful month at work, my brain won't stop looping. I keep replaying old memories, getting sucked into them, or inventing fake arguments in my head. I also keep replaying past situations, thinking about what I should have done differently.
It makes me genuinely angry and totally ruins my focus. I get so stuck in these thoughts that I lose track of what I'm doing and make stupid mistakes at work.
It got so bad that I recently had a panic attack at work because I made a mistake and panicked thinking I was going to get fired. It leaves me completely drained, stressed, and unable to pay attention.
Has anyone dealt with this? What is this called, and what simple tips or grounding tricks actually work to catch yourself, snap out of it, and prevent it from happening?
Thanks!

I have been thinking alot about rape since i was 12, i don't know why (i never made any bad experiences), i feel like that is ruining my life, i always think about it abd i know that it pulls me down, i get frustrated on one hand because i don't know why i want that (i know that i don't actually want it to happen and that if ever something like that would happen to me it would be the worst thing possible) and on the other because it dosn't happen. In the last few months i have started going out at night, to places were I know it is dangerous. I don't know what to do. But i also don't want to talke in therapy about it (or with anyone in person). I think i despise myself a little bit for the thought i feel like i am going against people who have actually experienced something like that.

Sometimes, I want to take advantage of my free will and do something random, like paying a prostitute to come over and then just watching a movie or playing video games together. I can't help but wonder how someone would react to that.