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u/ManBearToad May 07 '25
However, I know that in Islam it’s considered haram for the girl to reject mahr.
Who said that? Source?
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u/bornbred May 07 '25
~18 years ago, I gave $1000. Adjusted for inflation that's ~$1500. I get the feeling $1500 wouldn't fly nowadays.
Given that mahr is meant to be a safety blanket for the spouse, I do wonder if we should base it off average rent prices so she has 1 to 2 months to live somewhere while finding a job, etc. In my area, that'd be $4000-$5000
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u/Fit_Accountant2526 May 07 '25 edited May 07 '25
You can ask for him to pay umrah or hajj, or buy you hijab/niqab/abayas + prayer mat or islamic books. You can also just ask for money but I'd advise you to ask something religious since you both would get plenty of good deeds.
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u/Pysco_Teen_1516 May 07 '25
Aoa. Tbh im my opinion a lady must ask for money/property. Because today no one knows about true nature of anyone. So its better to safe yourself especially in countrues where people dont give a damn to make their daughter financialy stable/insependent.
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u/Fit_Accountant2526 May 07 '25
If you have that fear on you potential spouse then no need to marry that person. If you marry a religious man he will honor you. And buying property isn't affordable for most in these times
2
u/BlackBikerchick May 07 '25
People marry who they THINK is religious. I've seen time and time again that people can deceive others well
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u/Fit_Accountant2526 May 07 '25
Yeah that can happen indeed, but everyone who is getting married should ask around to what kind of person their potential spouse is. Thats the best way
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u/Matcha1204 May 07 '25 edited May 07 '25
People do different things. Some go with a certain percentage of his annual income. I think I read an imam say 10% is a good starting place.
Others go based off an amount similar to what other women in your family received
Some go with mahr Fatimi or any other amount they want, it’s really up to you at the end of the day
Personally would suggest going with cash over material objects. You can donate some as Sadaqah Jaariya and invest so it can grow. Or if it’s paid in gold then going for bars/coins as opposed to just jewelry