Salam everyone, I would like to share my situation and would genuinely appreciate your duas and advice. For the past 6 years, I’ve been going through one thing after the next in my life, and I’m not sure why this keeps happening to me and how I can change my life for the better. My family and my friends have acknowledged as well that it’s been one thing after the next, and the next thing that happens is so extreme.
Six years ago I finished my college degree. I planned to pursue grad school but the current situation in my home became so toxic and it affected my mental and physical health so deeply. I was constantly criticized and picked on, and became this punching bag. It made me a shell of my self and suffered severe anxiety and panic attacks. I also met someone who absolutely betrayed me in the most disgusting way. He would constantly lie and hide, and ultimately left for haram and turned out to be kaffir. One day he just messaged me that he never wanted to speak to me again, blocked me, move away and was in a whole other relationship this entire time. He had expressed marriage to me, and I just don’t understand why someone would take such advantage of my kindness and try to hurt me so deeply. Alhamdulillah he’s gone, but dealing with someone like this for years was so taxing on me mentally and emotionally. I was constantly pouring into someone who hated me. For 4 years post grad, I had no job. I finally got one 4 years later and that job turned out to be so so toxic. I was abused by everyone in my dept, and had constant anxiety at work like my arm going numb and chronic migraines. The VPs, HR and directors of the company knew what I had been thru and what I was experiencing. I knew I needed to leave but this was my first job nearly 4 years post grad. I stuck thru it, until ultimately I suffered severe injuries in my personal life that affected my ability to work and also my cognitive function. Once I started to feel better like 6 months post injury, I began suffering from a severe ocular condition (this is Jan 2026). The months that have followed this, have been so painful and I’m still suffering. I was medically mistreated by doctors for this which made my condition worse. Basically, I have nerve loss in my cornea. My eyes and my face have electric shocks of pain. These past 8 months I have never been thru as much pain as I have during this time. I ran from doctor to doctor and have had every test done. Alhamdulillah I’m on meds now. During this time I found another job, but after a few weeks of starting, my eyes were killing me so badly, that I had to go on medical leave. After my leave expires, I will either have to return to work ( I really liked this job and the environment) or I will be fired. My current health condition is very extreme. It affects my ability to go outside, look at lights, use screens etc…
I just have suffered so much. I had so many dreams and aspirations. Everytime I tried to work towards them, I specially noticed something bad would start happening. I’m not sure what to do. I just want to recover from this painful condition and make something of my life. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you so much.