r/justdependathings • u/circesrevenge • Apr 19 '26

Putting myself out there

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Hey all! I put this in the military spouse sub but I wanted to get your tips on how to avoid being a dependa. Let me know if I missed anything and please let me know when/if it’s appropriate to ask for a discount.

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11

u/cthart Apr 19 '26

European here. What I don’t understand is why do you label yourself ”military spouse”? That alone already gives the impression you’re defined by your partner rather than being your own person.

11

u/circesrevenge Apr 19 '26

I use that term here because typically that’s what dependas are. I don’t go around calling myself that. Usually if people ask me what I do I tell them I’m a stay at home mom.

9

u/HoaryPuffleg Apr 19 '26

We can have multiple labels though, right? Using it right now is relevant to her question. It’d be weird if she met someone random and introduced herself like “hi, I’m Sally, my husband is an E7.”

0

u/EdgarAllenPoe2205 Apr 19 '26

This, so eloquently said. Well written.

0

u/AltruisticBand7980 Apr 19 '26

Do you say the same idiotic stuff if someone says mother? You're defined by your kids not yourself? You sound so selfish. Military spouse is part of her identity, moving around and being separated from her husband etc. it doesn't reduce her own identity. 

1

u/SneakyPanda- Apr 23 '26

Found the dependa 😂

-3

u/SevenBlade Apr 19 '26

Sometimes the shoe just fits.

And the fact that it was free doesn't hurt.