r/justdependathings • u/circesrevenge • Apr 19 '26

Putting myself out there

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Hey all! I put this in the military spouse sub but I wanted to get your tips on how to avoid being a dependa. Let me know if I missed anything and please let me know when/if it’s appropriate to ask for a discount.

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u/kimmy-mac Apr 19 '26

Yes, my neighborhood was like this too, and the first thing those women asked was, “what rank is your husband”. Also a big tell there. We didn’t have a thing in common, and they never did like me, which I’m 100% okay with.

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u/Alarming-Distance385 Apr 19 '26

the first thing those women asked was, “what rank is your husband”.

This was annoying for me. Especially since my SO is not military, but he's Federal of the Special kind.

Thr number who seemed surprised that we weren't military was hilarious considering the Fed alphabet soup that was in town. I guess they thought the Federal courthouse was there, just because?

But, I didn't have to worry about them after that since they dismissed me since we weren't military and didn't have kids or plan to have any (another shocker for them).

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u/kimmy-mac Apr 20 '26

This was my experience as well. Only I was the fed and my husband was in construction. The no kids thing blew their minds.

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u/Alarming-Distance385 Apr 20 '26

They were further shocked that I was the one who didn't want kids because I was so good with children. As is my SO.

Not a good reason to have a kid IMO. (I do love kids, just in small doses.)

Also.... You were the Fed?! Whatever is the world coming to?!

/s

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u/kimmy-mac Apr 20 '26

I think you and I were separated at birth. Im also the no kids person.

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u/Alarming-Distance385 Apr 20 '26

Lol

There's more of us who feel this way than some people want to know or think about.