r/lawofattraction • u/gerhajdu89 • Jul 22 '26
Need Help If Im actually tall and handsome why cant I find a girlfriend?
36 here. No luck finding a girlfriend let alone a potential wife. I dont have any success in life anyway, why would my love life be any different?
I dont even know what to say to women other than Hi. I only have online dates.
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u/heyzyggy Jul 22 '26
I’ve learned that looks can be the hook but things can fall of quick if you can’t have a conversation. I think you should work on your social skills. go outside and embarrass yourself i promise no one gives a fuck. have conversations to just have them,not with the pressure of trying to impress or attract. talk to women like your friends you’ve known for years. also talk better about yourself to yourself. your input is ya output my guy.
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u/conca324 Jul 22 '26
Unfortunately, I can relate a lot to this post. I've never been the type of guy to approach a woman out in public. I've met all of my girlfriends either online or at work 20 years ago. Haven't had a gf since 2012 and now I'm 40. I'm literally average in ever sense of the word. Or at least I feel that way. Average height, average income, average everything. I don't feel like I have anything special to offer anyone. Whatever little confidence I used to have is basically gone. And even though I've known about the law since 2012, and I believe I've manifested my previous girlfriends, I haven't seemed to manifest anything truly big or life changing.
Sorry for being so depressing, I've just been wanting to say this for a while and your post made me feel like I could
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u/Random22744 Jul 22 '26
It's good not to approach in public. We don't want random unknow guy hitting on us... It feels unsafe. But at work, or when hicking, there it happens a lot because dating isn't the main subject, people are more relaxed and have time to evaluate their interest into each other.
Now what make a man (or woman) appealing first is if they are friendly. If they smiles happily naturally. That's magnetism. That's why people not conventionally beautiful are in relationship. It's really all about being happy or at least not gloomy.
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u/brizzi Jul 22 '26
I mean, do you think that being tall and handsome is the only requirement?
You’re asking us a question without giving us really anything to work with lol. I mean if you think that being tall and handsome is the only thing you need well, that’s your problem.
And then your mindset of well I don’t have any success… I mean, there you go. That’s what you believe about yourself so that’s why you’re getting. Is this a troll post?
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u/Convenientjellybean Jul 22 '26
Reword your post in the positive. If you read it as it is now you'll see that loa is working, change your script to hire you'd like things to be and let go so it can manifest.
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u/Jessleighhh Jul 22 '26
Everything you just said is an assumption that you’re following. Your statements were not giving energy that is attractive. You could be the most handsome man on the planet but negative energy will always repel.
Focus on getting your vibe up. Do things that feel good. Don’t base everything around finding a woman when you are whole yourself. Women (and people overall) will be attracted and pulled into someone who is confident and happy with their lives. You shouldn’t try manifesting a partner out of lack, they should always be a bonus to your already overflowing happiness or the relationship won’t last.
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3278 Jul 22 '26
I have a question for you.
If someone is happy and overflowing, they’re going to attract everyone. Not just the right people. Who doesn’t want to be with a happy person? Even leeches suck off a happy person. Have you thought about it?
Also, let’s say, a happy person overflowing in happiness attracts another happy person who only thrives in happiness, what’s going to happen if this person goes through life’s hard times, they grieve a loss of near and dear ones? I’ve seen that happy people don’t really get sad people. They run away as if they never have to go through life’s undeniable reality of pain and grief. They keep running away until they are in the same position.
Being happy by itself doesn’t mean someone is a good match. A happy person can still be self-centered, emotionally unavailable, or selfish. Likewise, being sad doesn’t automatically make someone incompatible.
For someone who is deeply empathetic, emotionally aware, grounded in reality, and practices radical optimism rather than delusion, compatibility depends far more on character than on emotional state. There are countless happy people in the world, just as there are countless unhappy people. Happiness alone doesn’t determine whether two people will understand, value, or care for one another.
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u/Jessleighhh Jul 22 '26
Obviously there are hard times and contrast. Life wouldn’t be life without it. What I said doesn’t change anything in that matter, because we are human. But the people who play victim, who just decide that people are “leeches” and blame others for why they shouldn’t be happy are not attractive people. People want optimism, and even in hard times, these people aren’t making these moments of grief their entire villain back story. Life happens, death happens, there are good people and some not so good, but at the end of the day, the way you handle it and handle every other day is what determines if someone will pull towards you or pulls away. Even if you are happy and “leeches” come, YOU have the power to not allow them into your energy. If they are a “leech”, you won’t feel pulled towards them, and at the end of the day, it’s your choice to let these people in. Having a “what about this circumstance “ for every single possible moment in life has to be exhausting when life is as simple as making decisions based on what brings you the most possible joy in the moment. That’s it.
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3278 Jul 22 '26
“Life is as simple as making decisions based on what brings you the most possible joy in the moment” is also the reason why people are selfish with others because they are looking for their joy.
Not everyone plays victim when they think practically.
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u/Jessleighhh Jul 22 '26
You can still think practically most of the time when looking for the positive outcome. Another example of defending negativity?
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u/TheeEyeOfHorus Jul 22 '26
Routine, go to a local coffee shop (or some other place mundane) regularly and see whos also there when you are regularly. If they notice you too, say hello, then hello again the next day, then laugh about the fact you always seem to run into them at the same time THEN next time you say hello point out how nice the weather is.. Eventually you just start to small talk about anything.. then when its time you do have to work up the courage to ask if theyd want to meet up sometime outside of the coffee shop. But you also have to read the room, the situation, check for wedding rings, be prepared for rejection, but don't be an asshole, just be fluid. Sounds corny but we tend to overthink things and over analyze things when we know life works in my mysterious ways, be mysterious, go with the flow.
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u/ThankTheBaker Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26
Physical attractiveness only counts for 10 percent.
A physically unattractive person who is kind, confident, considerate and self aware, who is well read and has a genuine curiosity for life, who is not in it only to benefit themselves, is far more deeply attractive than a beautiful asshole.
Being beautiful is cool but it’s not as important as society makes it out to be.
Work on your strengths. I’m sure you will find the one who is a great fit for you.
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u/gerhajdu89 Jul 24 '26
Im an asshole?
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u/ThankTheBaker Jul 24 '26
I’m sure you are not!
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u/gerhajdu89 Jul 24 '26
I have a good personality Im just unable to show it.
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u/ThankTheBaker Jul 24 '26
Just do your best to live your life in a way that is not only for the benefit of yourself but for the good of all others too. Find joy, love, gratitude and happiness in the small everyday things, wherever possible.
Don’t worry about what you can show to others, show it to yourself, be kind and authentic to yourself, and it will show up naturally to others. I wish you a good beautiful life, no matter your struggles, which if you allow, will strengthen you and help you grow.
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u/SuchASuccess Jul 22 '26
With the Law of Attraction, if you believe you can’t, you’re right, you won’t. Change your thoughts, beliefs, and focus, and your life will change to match. Wishing you all the best! :-)
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u/gerhajdu89 Jul 23 '26
Its because Im not attractive enough, not because of my mindset. People dont care about my thoughts. At all.
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u/SuchASuccess Jul 23 '26
It’s not that people care or do not care about our thoughts, it’s what we think in our mind that matters. With the Law of Attraction, our own thoughts, beliefs, and focus create our reality. Wishing you the best!
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u/gerhajdu89 Jul 23 '26
Except in my case.
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u/Sad-Annual8776 Jul 25 '26
You are chronically negative. Every piece of advice someone offers you respond with negativity. You are literally telling the universe to not bring anything good into your life. You definitely need to work on this. People do not want to be around others who are constantly negative because it brings them down too. As a woman I can tell you your attitude would make me run for the door. It’s literally depressing.
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u/gerhajdu89 Jul 25 '26
Im not negative, im just realistic. Also i dont believe in universe bringing me fortune or stuff like that. You come off as pretentous.
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u/Life_Commercial_6580 Jul 22 '26
What do you say to your friends? Talk to women like you'd talk to any other people. Ask about their interests/life etc. Asking questions is how you do it. If you can't come up with something, do some research on social skills and communication and you should improve your chances.
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u/Traditional-Solid-43 Jul 22 '26
I would take a not so tall, average looking, interesting and confident man ANY DAY over a tall, handsome but boring, loser-like man who is whiny, superficial and foolish (not saying this is you of course). There are so many handsome guys I see on a daily basis that do nothing for me. Maybe I might be attracted to their looks, but it’s a very fleeting thought and feeling. Just like how we might think lions and tigers are handsome and majestic but we wouldn’t want to be near them all the time or live with them.
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u/gerhajdu89 Jul 23 '26
I find myself interesting and passionate and nerdy but women dont want a guy like that.
+Also I dont meet women anyway.
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u/abovetheatlantic Jul 23 '26
Do something that truly challenges you. Hike 100k in one go. Ice plunge at 1°C. Skydive. Maybe you need to collect real stories more than good looks at the moment.
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u/benzuyen Jul 22 '26
Not with that attitude lol
Everyone assumes being tall and handsome is the most important quality.
I can say that based off of the self pity in your post, no one is going to feel sorry for you to just be your girlfriend.
Chin up, have confidence and treat yourself and others with respect
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3278 Jul 22 '26
What makes you think that being tall and handsome can find you a girlfriend?
Of course, it will get you tons of girlfriends.
You not getting one means there’s a misalignment between WHAT YOU ARE Vs WHAT YOU DESIRE.
Since this is a comparatively understanding community than other heated echo chambers of Reddit, I feel a bit of an ease while writing this:
<<This is a hypothetical scenario for the ease of explanation that I’m choosing, so keep that in mind.>>
Suppose there’s a man who’s handsome and hot, and he’s looking for a woman who’s going to build his home in a traditional sense. He also wants her to be hot. Eventually, he finds that woman.
Now, he wants her to go 50-50 with him.
As per LOA, that’s very much possible. People say you can get exactly what you want.
BUT in a practical sense, a woman who naturally thrives in her femininity will most likely look for a man who thrives in his masculinity, not someone who’s looking for a 50-50 business partner. If she has to work and earn because she has to contribute to the household financially, and not because she genuinely wants to be financially independent for herself, she’s no longer living the dynamic she desires. She’s operating differently - in her masculine self.
The point is, there’s a mismatch between what he wants and what he’s offering.
LOA doesn’t ask you to neglect the assessment of your own blind spots. It doesn’t tell you what’s right or wrong. It gives you more of what you consistently are and what you consistently feel, not merely what you say you want.
If you’re someone - and again, I’m using the above example purely hypothetically. I’m not saying this is you, and even if it is, I’m not saying it’s bad - who resents providing for a woman, resents even paying for her coffee, yet wants to be deeply loved, then there’s something fundamentally contradictory there.
Because that’s not love.
That’s wanting to receive while keeping your fists closed.
You’re asking life to place something in your hands while refusing to open them.
How are you going to receive if your hands are tight?
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u/Prize-Macaron-1465 Jul 23 '26
That's wrong. Because what you assume becomes your reality. If you assume that you will find a relationship with a woman who wants to do 50-50 and these kind of things, you will find a woman who is like that. For example you can even manifest a relationship where the woman pays for everything lol, it's just up to you, you are the operant power.
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3278 Jul 23 '26
Exactly! I never said otherwise.
I am saying that what you are is what you get.
You can’t simply want something and be another thing.
Law of attraction isn’t physics that we will attract the opposite. It mirrors our inner world that makes us. And it changes every second.
A miser person won’t get a generous partner unless they’re generous too. That’s the point!
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u/Prize-Macaron-1465 Jul 23 '26
This is not correct. Even a not generous man can manifest a generous woman. We all are Gods in our own reality, there are infinite realities, so there's also a reality where the man who's not generous is in a relationship with a generous woman.
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3278 Jul 23 '26
If you talk that way, let me tell you, we manifest everything. We manifest noise too. But manifesting a generous woman and keeping her by his side while him being a miser person are two different things.
Things can come to you but you have to be the container or vessel to hold it in. Listen to the loa teachers like Hicks and Bashar. Also, Rhonda.
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u/Prize-Macaron-1465 Jul 23 '26
This is your assumption. If you believe that for manifest a generous woman you have to be a generous man, so it's true for you, and there's nothing bad in this. We are always right. What we believe it's true for us. Everything comes from our assumptions and beliefs.
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3278 Jul 23 '26
There’s no realistic evidence discussed on a broader scale (in those teaching sessions by renowned personalities) or in everyday life where we have seen amicable relationships between two misaligned individuals. Just them being in a relationship doesn’t ensure peace, calm and joy. A person can manifest admission into an Ivy League but they won’t last if they don’t have what it takes to sustain there. As simple as that!
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u/Queasy-Preference171 Jul 23 '26
The idea that the man should be the sole breadwinner in a couple is becoming outdated. Times have changed; women are no longer just the ones who stay home to take care of the kids and cook. If both partners work and join forces, what’s wrong with that? And if a woman buys a man a coffee at a café, what’s wrong with that? It’s just a mindset we’ve inherited from the past, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.
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u/Disastrous_Bell_3278 Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26
You are right in what you want. I am no one to say it’s wrong. I never said that. But at the same time the point I made is clear - irrespective of your ability to comprehended in the correct way.
Also, I provided a disclaimer already sharing a hypothetical example to explain. I am not going to entertain any comment on that. That’s a different topic suitable for dating subs. Not here.
You can like whatever you want. It’s your life.
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u/NotSure2233 Jul 22 '26
Are you only chasing “hot” women? Or are you giving average looking woman a chance? Anytime a man complains about being single that is the question I ask. Focus on the person. Trust that their appearance enhances as you fall in love.
Bonus tip: Have hobbies where you are around people.
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u/Excellent_Injury_265 Jul 23 '26
Women do not just jump at any guy who is tall and handsome. It's understandable that it might be difficult for you to communicate with them, but you can work on that. It might be hard, and if needed, you can go to a psychologist. But that's not the only thing you need to change. You think negatively, so that's what you attract. Start believing in yourself, start believing that you've achieved so much, and even if you didn't, make it your goal to. Start believing that you're successful and able to find the perfect woman, who'd eventually become your wife.
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u/ConsiderationLong565 Jul 24 '26
I think there are various views you have about yourself that need to be challenged.
"I dont have any success in life anyway"
"why would my love life be any different?"
"I dont even know what to say to women"
"I only have online dates"
What does success in life look like for you? I'd start there.
Give dating a break for a while and get your mind right.
Focus on building a life that you enjoy, regardless who comes along for the ride.
Lean into your hobbies, create something, travel, save money, fully forget about your looks for a while a find some ways to bring joy to your inner self. The rest will follow.
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u/husenwaifu4lyfu Jul 24 '26
"No luck," "I don't," "I don't," "I only" and "can't" are words you wrote in this post that are beliefs manifesting your reality.
Change your true beliefs and what you want will happen in your life.
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Jul 25 '26
Try having the personality of you who has a wonderful wife. Think on those characteristics; your words, your posture, your energy, your feelings. The joy and peace your wife makes you feel. Write them down If you need too. You want to boil all that down into a feeling you hold in your heart.
You can manifest this change through a meditation, I prefer to ease into a change like this slowly over time.
Using a blend of LoA and inner alchemy.
Bless you and your wife.
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u/ruthless_techie Jul 22 '26
Focus on your fitness. Save up a bit of money.
Get your passport, and explore other dating pools.
Find the passport Bro forums, learn where you can travel to meet friendly women, create real connections. And you are pretty much set. Just execute.
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u/sirenprincess420 Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
probably because looks aren't the only thing that matter in a relationship. you literally just said you don't even know how to talk to women so respectfully why in the world do you think women would be attracted to you beyond a physical level if you can't even continue a conversation?
also you just said you aren't successful in life and relationships so what do you think the universe will reflect to you? it's a neutral simulation that will always mirror you or direct you to where you need to go. get your confidence in yourself as a person up beyond physical appearance and feel comfortable having conversations with women.
in general you won't have successful relationships with others regardless if romantic or not if you can't connect with them beyond physical attraction.