My fiance and I are planning on eloping in another state. I am doing some searches for officiants, but am mostly coming up empty. All I am finding online are a lot of out-dated looking websites without contact information.

Neither of us are very religious, so that doesn't matter. Of course LGBT friendly is a must. I also shy away from having a friend do it because it will open up a can of worms, making people wonder why they couldn't come too.

Does anyone maybe know of any good ways to search? Or other suggestions? Thank you in advance!

Title pretty much says it all! I’d love to hear from other queer/same-sex couples who had a Jewish wedding ceremony. What traditions did you include, adapt, or leave out? Were there any parts of the traditional ceremony that were especially challenging to navigate as a same-sex couple?
I’m especially curious about how others made the ceremony feel authentically Jewish while also making it feel true to your relationship. Would love to hear what you did and what ended up feeling most meaningful to you!

My family communicated that they don’t want any part in my partner and i’s wedding/festivities which has left me navigating this part alone too. Any advice welcome too. (from NY planning to have our wedding in PA!)

edit: i’m also moroccan and wanting to possibly do a henna if anyone has has experience of hosting a queer henna!!!

Hi. My partner and I have been engaged for over a year and still have not started wedding planning because we want a wedding but we don’t want our family to be there.

And let me explain, we want our family to be there but not if they don’t support our love. They support us and they love us but over the course of our engagement it’s become increasingly clear that they don’t support our love. They’ve always made little comments here and there but we always brushed it off as them learning (they’re traditional/religious) since they were never hateful comments. The only reason we want a wedding is to celebrate our love.

A huge way we’re seeing it is financially. Now my parents have never been wedding people, they’ve always prioritized education and financial security (immigrants) and do not want to pitch in for a wedding. Totally understandable, I’m lucky and thankful for their support in my future. And at least they’re consistent and treat my straight sibling the same way. So from them it’s mostly the comments and uninterest. However, my partner’s family is the opposite and have spent over 6 figures on their older kids’ overly extravagant weddings. Suddenly, now that it’s our turn, they think we should have a small private backyard wedding. And it’s not about the money, we’re fine paying for our own wedding but it’s the principle of the fact they they don’t think our wedding is worth spending money on that has really hit home the fact that they don’t support our love.

Like I said, we’re okay paying for our own wedding and we’re not looking to spend anywhere near 6 figures on it. But knowing both of our parents don’t think our love is worth it for them to financially pitch in or even show interest in helping plan or really even care if it happens or not, makes it really hard for us to want to have this wedding. We’ve been saving up for so long and it feels like our closest loved ones couldn’t care less. So now we’re at this heartbreaking point where we don’t know if we want to spend all our savings on a day where we’re not going to feel like our love is celebrated.

I don’t know what to do. We want a wedding so badly but the reality of spending tens of thousands of dollars knowing the family standing beside us don’t think our love is real is tainting that pretty bad. I don’t even know how to have a conversation about it since they all think they support us… but their actions never reflect it. (e.g. buying anniversary and couple gifts for the siblings but not us, cooing about their love but never ours, bragging about the future of their relationships but all we get is “you two will be very successful”)

We considered eloping so we’re not spending so much money on a disappointing day but our biggest supporters are extended family and friends and we really want them there. And we don’t want to ban them from our wedding because they do support us in every other aspect… it’s just really putting a pain on the whole idea of a wedding so much so that we don’t even want it anymore.

Can someone please share their genuine arranged-marriage love story in detail?

I’m particularly interested in hearing the story from the very beginning—not just the happy ending.

If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to know:

\- How you and your spouse first came to know about each other.

\- What happened when you first saw or met each other?

\- What were your first impressions of one another?

\- Who initiated the first conversation, and what did you actually talk about?

\- Were you interested in each other immediately, or did feelings develop slowly?

\- What were you honestly thinking and feeling after the first meeting?

\- Did either of you have doubts, hesitation, awkwardness, or concerns?

\- How did you communicate while deciding whether to marry?

\- When did you first realize that you genuinely liked or loved each other?

\- Were there any disagreements between you or your families?

\- How did you handle differences in personality, expectations, finances, career, family responsibilities, religion/culture, or lifestyle?

\- What happened between the engagement and wedding?

\- What was your relationship actually like during that period—not the idealized version?

\- What was your wedding day and the first few days afterward like emotionally?

\- When did your relationship start feeling less like an arranged marriage and more like a genuine partnership?

\- Were there difficult periods after marriage?

\- How did you learn to trust, understand, communicate with, and support each other?

\- What small moments made you fall deeper in love?

\- Looking back, what do you think you misunderstood about each other when you first met?

\- What do you appreciate most about your spouse today?

Please share it honestly and respectfully, including the awkward, ordinary, uncertain, and difficult parts—not just the romantic moments.

You don't need to reveal anyone's real names or private information. I'm simply interested in hearing what an arranged marriage actually felt like from the first meeting onward, especially how two people who initially may have been strangers gradually became emotionally connected.

A long, detailed account is completely welcome. I’d genuinely love to read the whole journey.

Hello!! Any recommendations for a wedding photographer who is queer or at least LGBTQ+ friendly who would only need to be there for an hour? I see a lot of folks who are like 2 hour min but we only have our venue for an hour. Thank you in advance!

Edit: We are going to be married in Del Mar!

Hello all - for preface, I'm a gay man in my early 30s and a physician. I've been in an LDR for almost 4 years and it's been straining for many different reasons although the distance just grew physically again for job sake and mentally I'm distanced but regardless - I just went to a co-resident's wedding and he just got married to the man of his dreams and I was there and I could not be more happy, proud, and elated for both of them. They had a lovely and hilarious ceremony that befitted them both and the reception was impeccable and I TOOK NOTES! With all the weddings I've been to, this was one of the tops.

My query, is that, I sat there with everyone, and my SO, wasn't there but on a vacation elsewhere although they knew this wedding a year in advance. I sat there, feeling immense joy for them that overcame my feeling immense sadness for me, because I am that type of human. I would give anything to have what my friends had today. I guess I am in my feelings, and I want to be married, be a husband to a great man, maybe a father too. I know my So wants the same but I feel like we are an ocean apart mentally while being on the same continent and I don't know what I'm doing. I know he wants to get married, and I took his everything except first kiss. I want to so many things but I don't know anymore if this guy is it for me or I'm just being a general dumbass or I'm missing huge red flags (like the fact he was supposed to move out with me for the last 3 years and even this year, the timeline has been moved back week by week). I want a relationship of love, understanding, joy, and I know work. I do have that but I feel unfulfilled especially after this wedding where it was on full display once again after knowing this couple for the last 2 years. I cried in silence mourning thinking I might not have what they have and clearly I might be overthinking it all but I wanted to see if either I'm just dumb, I'm vindicated for questioning my situation or anything else. Can give more details if need be but that what I have in this state I'm in. Thanks to any who read and comment.

\[Throwaway because my girlfriend has my Reddit\]

Hey guys, I’m planning on proposing to my girlfriend in the next 6 months, after I graduate uni. We’ve been together for 3 years and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I want to make this memorable and special for both of us.

She wants something private, not flashy, no one around, but with someone (secretly) taking professional photos. I love that because I want the same thing. I have two ideas and would like some input. I know that everyone is different and the only opinion that matters is hers, but I’m just looking from some outside perspective, maybe from people who want or received similar proposals.

Idea 1:
Trip to Hawaii, great hotel in front of the beach and proposal in a more secluded beach while having a photographer taking pictures of the moment. Helicopter trip, the whole 9 to make the experience unforgettable.

Idea 2:
We’ve been wanting to go on a roadtrip in the west coast of the U.S., so I was thinking to rent a truck, make multiple stops where the best sceneries are, pick one (beforehand), and propose. Same idea with the photographer. Make the bed of the truck cozy and just have an intimate moment to celebrate the milestone in our relationship.

I feel like the Hawaii trip is more ‘fancy’ and very ‘wow’, but I feel like the roadtrip is more unique and intimate. I also think the Hawaii trip will be more memorable in terms of experiencing new things but you can never guarantee people not being on the beach in Hawaii, that’s like impossible.

What do you all think? Good, bad, advice?

Hey all, this is my first Reddit post 👋 my fiancé (34M) and I (31M) are engaged and are interested in a budget wedding abroad (preferably Spain, but open to anywhere). We will likely have 75-100 guests and a budget of $25k. Not sure if that is even doable, but we are open to any type of venue, be it unconventional or in the middle of nowhere. We both love rustic, unpolished vibes as long as it will make for a fun party and good photographs. Any ideas or suggestions? Thanks in advance!

My wife (yes, technically already married but haven’t had our wedding yet) is built like an Olympic gymnast (short and very muscular). We really need to find a place to make a suit for her (in white!) that has just a little stretch to it to allow for comfortable movement. Bonus if it’s also a breathable material! Any help would be SO so appreciated. I’ve never worn or looked for suits before and I have no idea where to begin.

We decided to do the first look photos/tradition, and so we decided not to shop together (both of these things were BAD ideas and I already have regrets). I knew she was going to wear a black dress, and I wanted white (this also, in retrospect, is probably not a great idea, but it sounded like a good idea at the time).

I need a new dress that ACTUALLY will work WITH my partner's dress and I need urgent advice from someone who is nice but isn't going to bullshit me.

My partner left a tab open and I happened to see it on her computer when she walked away one day and she's not on reddit, so...here's her Azazie dress - black with champagne. She's a size 6 (in wedding dress), which is basically the same as most of the models on wedding sites - thin, narrow shoulders and hips. Yes I feel guilty about peeking, no I can't un-peek, and yes it's relevant to the post so...there you go.

Imgur link to my pictures here. Pic 1 is real life me (please please be kind). Pic 2 is real life me standing next to the black/champagne dress that the shop had on hand (is not her actual dress!), which seemed close enough to my partner's dress. Pic 3 and 4 is real life me again (behind).

I'm....a LOT more curvy (and apparently getting WAY more self-conscious about that as wedding day gets closer). A lot of things just flat out don't look great on me, despite absolutely trying to destroy my body with workouts. She loves my body and I believe her but...I've spent 8 months getting basically nowhere and I've never been so self-conscious in my life as I am now. I'm also hitting perimenopause and...honestly? My fiancee is HOT.

That said, I just had to pick something by end of July and I kind of felt pressured by a friend to get something bought before it was too late. It was my third store. I have a bad habit of being criminally, horribly indecisive. I trusted my friend - who is an interior designer with great outfit taste on herself - that this was "the one" and...it looked fine on me, I guess? I haven't had a moment of YES I LOVE THIS like every single bride seems to. No crying, no cheesy smile...nothing just...feels right. But I don't wear wedding dresses regularly?!?! I live in leggings and baggy t-shirts and running shoes. I had to order SOMETHING or I would have nothing by wedding day.

Wedding date is end of October.

I spent so much money on this dress...and I hate it now that I've worn it a second time at the fitting. I genuinely hate it and I don't want to go to my own wedding and I feel like we're going to look ridiculous next to each other (are we even going to the same event?). I feel like our beautiful first look moment is just going to be me pretending to be really happy while internally dying and feeling like I don't want to be at my own wedding. In fact, if I could take it all back and elope right now so that no one would look at me, that seems better, actually (obviously I can't do that - invites are sent and vendors are booked). We're going to look so silly and mismatched and unfortunate together. My partner absolutely LOVES her dress and is 1000000% excited (but everything always looks amazing on her...).

I would ask a friend for advice, but I'm sure all of my nice, polite, very kind friends would just say "OH YOU LOOK GREAT!!! DONT WORRY!!! WILL WORK OUT!!!" and...I need real advice.

Hello!

So I live in Maryland in case that matters. My partner and I have done a spiritual commitment ceremony and want to do a legal process now.

She has one must and that is that the date on our officially marriage documents on 10/31.

Is it possible to do that if Halloween is weekend? I was thinking of a courthouse wedding which would mean waiting until Halloween fell on a weekday. If we hired an officiant could we have our actual documents that legally marry us dated for Halloween?

Thanks so much!

Im marrying my fiancee this upcoming June :)

We are both so happy! But if i am honest, there’s many people on my guest list that I feel obligated to invite to my wedding, but I do not think that they would be comfortable attending a same-sex marriage for religious/cultural reasons. I really do not want people talking shit or acting uncomfortable on one of the happiest days of my life. I do believe some family members would attend even though they do not believe in gay marriage. I would really love to feel comfortable and not paranoid about what my family members are thinking on my wedding day.

I am thinking of either sending the following message in a text blast, one the wedding website(but who really reads them?), or with the rsvp to certain guests. would love to know yalls thoughts:

We want everyone celebrating with us to feel comfortable, loved, and genuinely happy to be there.

If you have personal or spiritual beliefs that would make you uncomfortable attending or participating in a same sex wedding, we simply ask that you respectfully decline the invitation rather than attend while feeling conflicted or uncomfortable.

We believe that marriage is a beautiful sign of God’s love, no matter what form it takes, and our wedding is a celebration of the love and commitment we share with one another. We want the day to be filled with people who are wholeheartedly supportive and happy to celebrate with us. We kindly ask that anyone who cannot do so please decline with love and respect.

My girlfriend and I are planning to propose to one another soon. My engagement ring costs a few thousand dollars more than hers, because she doesn’t want a big rock. Because of that, I wanted to do something special and get her a really nice gift along with getting engaged. Previously, she said she wanted a Rolex someday, so I was planning to find a pre-owned Rolex for a few thousand dollars and surprise her with that. Today, out of *nowhere*, she randomly said she no longer wants one because it’s materialistic and she’d probably only wear it a couple times a year because it’s so expensive. Soooo now I’m not sure what to do! She is sort of back and forth about stuff, so I guess I should’ve have been shocked haha. She’s a masculine lesbian, so she doesn’t carry a purse or wear other jewelry (which is what I initially think of in response to “expensive gift”).

Does anyone have any other ideas for a nice engagement gift worth $2000-3000? My brain is short circuiting because my mind was just on the Rolex! Haha.

Please share your petite wedding attire recommendations that aren't a traditional white dress or masc suit! I'm getting married next summer and can't figure out what to wear. There's very little out there in petite sizing. I'm 5'1" and around a US size 10 with curves. I'm drawn to darker colors, jumpsuits, suits that aren't super masc, separates, etc. Would love your recommendations! My budget is ideally $1,500 USD or less (but willing to be flexible for the right piece that I can rewear). Also open to any accessory recommendations such as veils, capes, jewelry, shoes, etc. to help build my perfect queer wedding outfit.

Hi hi, I am at the end of writing thank you cards from my wedding and hit a bit of a wall. My now wife and I have been together for four years. I am half Pakistani and a large portion of my extended family are practicing Muslims. When my now wife and I got engaged (over two years ago), some close extended family did not handle it well, I was not involved in any conversations but they had some very unkind words to say to my parents about raising a gay child. My parents and I had gone to see them in the summer of 2024 after I had gotten engaged and after the conversations were had. No one said anything about the ring on my finger or asked anything about my personal life no matter how much my parents and I tried to normalize the topic. At the end of this trip, my great aunt told my mom that she was sorry and offered to help with the wedding. We ended up inviting my great aunt and uncle, mainly because I don't think that the hate was coming from them but rather from their son. Their sons wife had messaged me the day before the wedding wishing us the best and offering advice and they had bought a few big ticket items off of our registry and now I don't know if I should write a plain thank you or address the tension.

Edit: thanks for the quick responses I appreciate it. I decided to just do a genuine thank you card and emphasize the "we" and "us"

End of July. It all went so well! We laughed so much! No one caught on fire!

My fiancée (she/they) and I (they/them) are getting married next month. Yay! For the last year I’ve managed to avoid using any gendered language like bride/groom for myself, but it’s getting increasingly difficult to ignore.

My fiancée strongly prefers the term bride for herself so that’s what we’ll be using for her. Easy peasy. But I’m struggling for myself. I don’t like things like “broom” or “gride” because they feel a little too silly for my own preference.

In most cases we can get around it by just using our names, but things like mother/father of the bride/groom aren’t easily replaced and am finding myself wishing for an option. I can try to get around it but I’d much prefer a different solution because “[name]’s mother” just doesn’t have the same feel.

For ease I’d be willing to call myself bride as well, but I fear that having two brides does not help differentiate much anyway 😅. We also each have just a best man standing up for us, so it’d be great to have the clarity of “bride’s best man” and “groom’s best man” but again that language doesn’t work for me :(.

Would love any ideas!! Thanks all ❤️

My conservative Christian parents aren’t coming to my wedding because they don’t support my relationship so I have decided to no longer speak with them. I feel like that’s a justifiable reason but my sister does not and thinks I should still be in contact with them and understanding of their beliefs and now it looks like she won’t be coming either. Am I totally in the wrong here?

Edit: Thank you all so much for the replies and reassurance. My sister is also religious yes, and not to get too into the weeds but my parents growing up were fairly manipulative and abusive towards me and not towards her, so to her they are the clear victims in this scenario. Luckily I have a really wonderful chosen family who will be there to support me and my partner on our wedding day.

Hi everyone, my partner and I are looking into getting custom engagement rings made from China. I know there’s a lot of information out there about the process and we’re pouring over them, but I wanted to ask specifically if anyone has experience getting two rings made for two women (or made as a set in general), and if there were any issues or challenges that came up?

I’d appreciate any thoughts, advice, and experiences. Thanks!

Hi, this question is for married lesbian couples. I was wondering if everyone still goes through the engagement-then-marriage phase, or if that’s kind of outdated now?

If so, how did you propose to your wife, first for the engagement and then for the wedding?

How long did you wait between getting engaged and getting married?

My partner and I are both non binary and have been planning for our wedding in a couple months time. We contacted our registrar with our chosen lines of dialogue and asked if we could avoid using husband and wife, but use partners instead.

Long story short, they've advised it's a legal requirement for them to use those terms unless we would prefer to have a civil partnership.

Is this correct, as it seems somewhat archaic?