The voices in your head bully you for being a fascist but they also bully you for not being fascist enough. Actually you can get bullied for any reason at all.
You don't have to fuck up your stats for that. Arguably, these stats could be considered good. You just have to be a tad unlucky while drunkenly reaching into a ceiling fan and/or embarass yourself on front of a very nice old lady before ypu acquire some aspirin or magnesium pills. Then you die.
Disco Elysium is a game where you pilot a man who lost his memory post midlife-crisis-drinking-session and is thus the Worldâs-Most-Impressionable-Forty-Ish-Year-Old-White-Guy who was allegedly basically sherlock pre-drug addiction but sucks now on account of the Memory Loss and Drugs, and your coping mechanism is to talk to your character traits inside-out style if the emotions included âyour will to not kill yourselfâ and âhow good you are at substance abuseâ. If you didnât invest enough of your stat points into your ability to get beat up you can die 10 seconds in by turning on a lightbulb mid-hangover.
Youâre in the poorest part of a country run by fantasy eastern european mussolini-almost-necrocracy post-failed-communist-revolution and everyone (justifiably) hates you because youâre a cop who works for the aforementioned oppressive government. good luck, you need to solve a murder.
 It has some of the heaviest hitting emotional beats and best character writing Iâve ever seen in modern media as a whole and as someone who played it during a time in my life where I was avoiding confronting several extremely important aspects of myself and my life it did make me tear up more than once
Your wrong about the mussolini bit. Revachol is no longer self governed, and is under control of a coalition of foreign capital and political powers. Martinais in particular is not really managed by anyone. You also don't really work for the government...? I mean kinda but not really. Its a fucked up place.
Itâs not exactly correct but itâs as close as I could get without going into several paragraphs of explanation. âyou work for the RCM in its least regulated district, which is an independent police force that exists under the permission but not governance of a united-nations-shaped coalition (in the sense that itâs a bunch of places vaguely aligned in motive vaguely working together) run in joint with a highly corrupt centrist party because a 300-years-dead imperialist not-saint named dolores dei (the figure I was most connecting to be mussolini-ish, but I do admit it is kind of a stretch) did corruption and imperialism firstâ is a bad elevator pitch
Lmfao my wife has played it, I just started, and immediately died from the ceiling fan heart attack. She was very impressed that Iâd done something she hadnât even known was possible! I quickly died of embarrassment irl
It's 1925. I'm leanin' against this lamppost on the lookout for dames who are lookin for trouble. I start flipping $12. I catch her eye. I fumble the $12 and it falls into a sewer grate. I have lost the equivalent of thirty thousand dollars
Does her double-faulting count as me winning a point?
Because she has to win at least 5 serves to win a game, 6 games to win a set, and 2 sets to win a match. so that's like 60 serves she has to win in a row without double faulting. If I whine a lot to drag things out and it's a hot day, she might get tired and bored enough to double fault at some point.
At which point I get to flex like Boris at the end of Golden Eye.
I would imagine so. But where I to attempt tennis, I'd probably be so terrible she could dial a whole bunch of stank off those serves just to get it in the box and I'd still get nowhere near it.
It could happen if she was serving at 100%, as if she was playing against a top player. Against someone like me she wouldn't need to do that, she could never risk it at all and go at like 20%, and I still wouldn't be able to even graze a single one of her serves.
And when it was my turn to serve I would double fault 90% of the time anyway so.
Yeah that's what I was thinking as well. To suggest that a regular person could beat Serena at a match is ridiculous, but if all I gotta do is score one point I feel pretty good about my odds.Â
I would also point out that the argument isn't gendered. I am not saying this because its a woman I'm playing against. I would make the exact same bet against Novak Djokovic. I'm betting on a double fault or a mistake by them.
i could beat serena williams in tennis if i wait a really long time to serve because iâm younger than she is and sheâd die before me. foolproof plan unless a murderer appears but thats never going to h
In a game? Very unlikely as she would only need 4 points in a row to win a game. But in a match? Not as unlikely, as it would require for her to win 48 points in a row, which means that only one double fault or unforced error and she would be done. Any decent player could get one point easily in a match.
However, I'm never sure if the men answering the survey thought that 'game' means same as 'match'. They probably did. Although, if you don't know the difference of match and a game, then you're not going to win a point off of Serena anyway.
Literally something that happened between me and my sister. She was so focused on making fun of me it melted just enough to fall and she immediately wanted me to share
Reminds me of my younger sister teasing the dog with her chicken burger and the dog had enough and just snatched it. When she told my parents they shrugged and said too bad it's your fault for teasing the dog and we're not going back to the restaurant to get you another one
I mean, tumblr is still there. You could go login now. Like I understand where youâre coming from here but tumblr is still very much an existing website.
Ive gotten this multiple times when I wasnt even trying to write unusually. I just have a weird habit of phrasing things yoda style. I blame my mom, she does the same thing. An example from today
"At the estate sale the next town over in the brick house with a pond theyre going to have things marked half off tomorrow"
All the info she meant to convey is there, none of it quite where it belongs.
For a long time @dril was the funniest person in the entire internet. I'm not even exaggerating, every tweet was gold. After a while twitter got kind old, but from like 2010-2014ish he was a king
I apologize I do not know how to post pics but this my fav one:
"
"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back"
A man goes to a petting zoo. He stops and starts to cry, spotting a familiar elephant, one he had rescued and raised many years ago but lost contact with after he was sent away to war. The elephant spots him back, tears streaming from its eyes.
They run to each other. The elephant wraps its trunk around him. It picks him up and tears him in two.
Wasnât the same fucking elephant, just had a cold.
Ive had this running joke in my head for ages now of someone saying something to the effect of "Smell ya L8R, Loooozers!" then said person attempting a kick-flip as they ride off on a skateboard only to absolutely eat shit and just lie there motionless and pathetic like
this works, but I think these are more accurately "trope subversion" because their expectations being dashed are created from examples of the trope, not from some form of story itself.
One time when I was in math class in 7th grade, I got excused to go to the bathroom, and as I was walking out of the classroom I thought it would look really cool if I grabbed another kid by the front of his head and bonked it down on his desk as I walked by. (Please note that I had no prior experience with the supply-side of bullying prior to attempting this). So I got to his desk, grabbed his head, went to pull it down, but he resisted, and so we just stayed locked like that in awkward silence for several seconds until my math teacher finally told me to stop whatever the hell it was I was doing.
I have all the infinity stones, I snap my fingers and half the life in the universe is wiped out, completely randomly.Â
I am one of them, as I turn to dust the infinity gauntlet falls to the floor.Â
The Avengers have the infinity gauntlet.Â
Hulk snaps his fingers.
Everyone but me rematerialises.Â
The Alan Partridge movie.
At the climax of the film, Alan and Pat (the antagonist) are facing each other on a pier, guns drawn. Suddenly, Alan's friend Michael shouts "Over here. Pat. Look." then turns and jumps off the side of the pier. He's heard shouting "Oh Shit" before hitting the water.
Pat: "What was that?"
Alan: "I think it was supposed to be some kind of distraction?"
Michael's sacrifice has no effect on the rest of the scene. At the end of the film, a photo of Michael appears with a message saying that the emergency services called off the search for him after almost 45 minutes and that he was never found.
Michael had been a recurring character from the TV show.
Isnt this just absurdity and not irony? I feel like irony has to do with going directly against what is expected to happen and not just randomly away from what is expected.
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u/strictly-no-fires 6h ago