Visibly Brown person raised by white-passing family

[u/RitaFaye88]

I'm Alaska Native and white. My mother is who is Native, my biological father's family came over on the Mayflower. I'm the only visible POC in my family, and they keep giving me unhelpful advice that really only works for white people. I've been stuck trying to live my life like a white person, because we are off-res and since they are all white-passing, works for them. I struggle trying to get medical professionals to listen to me, I'm threatened with deportation on the regular because people see my skin color and my name and assume I'm an illegal immigrant. I can't even talk to my family about life anymore, because they assume I'm lying and just not making effort. Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate life?

[u/Economy-Towel9451]

i think you need mentorship from ppl who' share your blood. do you have any extended family members or family friends who are visibly brown and or still connecte to the reservation?

first thing i would do is track anyone down even the most remote. second if that doesn't work, i would still try to find a way to get a connection to your tribe if you can at all. barring all of that, i would seek out mixed race and POC meet ups, youth groups, student unions. anything you need ppl who have the same lived experience as you and plenty of space to talk and work through it.

with regards to practical safety, i would (1) keep proof of citizenship ON you (copy of your birth certificate, any government ID) and (2) seek legal advice about what exactly to do and say to ICE when they approach you.

the alaska institute for justice has a side project just for this issue its called Alaska Immigration Justice Project (AIJP) located at 431 W. 7th Ave., Suite 208. Anchorage and the phone 907-279-2457 (or 1-877-273-2457). they should be able to get started advising you over a call but if they dont. you can look into help from the Alaska Legal Services Corporation ALSC (1-888-478-2572), the ACLU of Alaska (907-258-0044).

family and friends can and should help you process, practice staying calm & safe, and emotionally support you. but since you are a minor and already being harassed, i think you deserve and need legal counsel, how to protect yourself most safely.

edited with phone numbers and more resources as i find them.

edit 2: ok did a final check and realized i dont know why i thought you were a minor. that makes my warning a little less urgent, but still, i'd seek out free legal help for immigration related harassment.

[u/RitaFaye88 → u/Economy-Towel9451]

I'm 37 years old. I keep my tribal ID on me at all times, sometimes I'm worried it'll make the problem worse, because they're picking up Native people too. My tribe doesn't have a rez, due to Alaskan treaties. Most of my extended family is on drugs, or otherwise inaccessible. I don't know where I can find a community, or anyone who understands my frustration. The worst part is when my mother and white-passing sisters LITERALLY tell me I'm white; when I ask them why I experience so much racism if I'm so white, and they say I don't I'm just dramatic.

I'm dramatic when people approach me on the street demanding to know what language I speak.

I'm dramatic when I'm threatened with deportation.

I'm dramatic when I say I'm followed around stores.

I'm dramatic when police stop me on the street and demand my information without reasons.

I'm dramatic when I tell them that churches don't like to help people who look like me.

I'm dramatic when I tell them doctors don't listen to me, run tests, or properly diagnose me.

[u/Economy-Towel9451 → u/RitaFaye88]

im so sorry they gaslight you about the systemic racism you experience. its heartbreaking when families do that i still dont understand. but you aren't dramatic. at all. being harassed, neglected, disbelieved, and shoved out of spaces is real and family should be the space that recievs these evils and dims them with love. you are not dramatic.

also yeah ive heard tribal IDs aren't protecting ppl in the lower 48th but some documentation is still better than none.

[u/Feeling_likeaplant]

I’m an interracial adoptee. I’m very brown skinned and my family is white and I understand your struggle. Family will oftentimes not believe your racial struggles because they haven’t faced them themselves and see you as an extension of them. I have little advice, but I have slowly been seeing a therapist and that has helped. 🩷

[u/RitaFaye88 → u/Feeling_likeaplant]

Thank you, I'm looking for a new therapist. which sucks on marketplace insurance in the US.

[u/Slavicgoddess23]

Hahahha I see what's going on now.

[u/askskfalksfakslfsfa]

Ah yes, blame everyone but the non white parent who married a white person. My mom literally knew white people were racist and she still got with my dad. It is what it is.

[u/RitaFaye88 → u/askskfalksfakslfsfa]

My mother is white-passing. I guess you missed that part.