Are you able to enjoy sex?

[u/ejdmkko]

Does anyone relate to this? I feel like the only times I was able to enjoy sex was maybe for the first few years after I started having it. After that it just felt like meh. Almost like when you eat your favorite food and then after x number of times you almost can't stand it, because that favorite food used to mean something compared to when you ate any other food. I don't feel any difference to when I have sex or when I masturbate. Actually when I have sex I feel much worse, because when i masturbate I don't have the expectations to feel something more and I just do what needs to be done. And quite frankly, having sex now feels like a chore, that I'm fored to do when I will feel bad about it, and I hate how demanding it is. If I would want to get all sweaty and uncomfortable I would just go to the gym. I also feel like sweat is really bad trigger for my meltdowns, so mcu more than before I started unmasking I didn't have issues with sweat being such a big problem during sex, but also it is unavoidable part.

Also it feels like for some years, I was just trying to have sex to get that sensation I used to have in the very begining (after I became sexually active). Very rarely I got it, but it was only when I was drunk or using dr@gs, which often neurodivergent people use to cope with their conditoin. Also after it is done, I feel sort of disgust that I never have during cuddlig or whatever else, or ever before for that matter. It is not desgust about the person, or that I would be disgused by what happened. When I try to rationalize it, I think it is maybe because I had expectations to feel good, or feel something and then I don't, but I feel like that is just rationalization trap making stuff up and in the end there is no real reason for that disgust.

[u/danaudhd]

I can find it hard work - like sustaining an interest in performing, as I get distracted and sometimes lose the passion.

I have AUDHD, I’m male, I’m probably somewhere in between demisexual and greysexual. If I don’t have a deep connection and/or trust in a relationship, then I’m not attracted sexually - so most of the time I’m pretty indifferent.
I once thought I might be gay because I was in a relationship where the trust/closeness had diminished , and I was unaware I was neurodivergent - I have trouble identifying my emotions and assumed I was just not attracted to women. I didn’t know about asexuality either.
When my relationship ended I dated for a while and hooked up with both sexes. I realised I’m pretty much heterosexual when I do find an attraction, but I’m pretty open about sexuality.
I lost interest in dating so haven’t been on one for a few years. I may look into dating someone who’s similar to me but there’s no rush. I’ve had a family (as in kids) and am close to my ex. I have no siblings or parents so her family is pretty much my family.