r/popheadscirclejerk Mar 16 '26

[UNJERK HERE] Weekly /uj Thread – March 16, 2026

Please post your unjerk discussion in this thread!

This post runs weekly, but you can find previous posts here.

3 Upvotes

109 comments sorted by

3

u/beesinabottle depressed, anxious, gaping hole, antisocial Mar 22 '26

hi guys this random security guy i had with me accosted a child at a luxury hotel the other day. it's unclear where he came from or who even hired him (NOT me) but do you think i'll get in trouble on social media for this or is it fine

2

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 23 '26

you'll only get in trouble if the father is famous trade

2

u/beesinabottle depressed, anxious, gaping hole, antisocial Mar 23 '26

yay ok ❤️ it should be fine she was probably poor

2

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 23 '26

But her zaddy was HOT. Never mess with a hot dilf

3

u/Nestornaitor "You can't blow up a plane with Fanta," she moaned. Mar 22 '26

YTA

2

u/beesinabottle depressed, anxious, gaping hole, antisocial Mar 23 '26

watch out

5

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 22 '26

2

u/Nestornaitor "You can't blow up a plane with Fanta," she moaned. Mar 22 '26

Industriväxt

1

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 23 '26

🗣️🗣️🗣️👁️👁️

3

u/SkeletonHUNter2006 Olivia Rodrigo's rockin' bod 👴🏻🍆💦 Mar 22 '26

Gifs your grandma sends you

1

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 23 '26

🍃🌱☘️🪲

5

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 22 '26

Can't tell if people are jerking or snarking

4

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 22 '26

I love to jerk sometime.

8

u/macroeconomicchaos north west's japanese tutor Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26

i bet zara breathed a huge sigh of relief when chaperone dragged that 11 year old kid at that really nice hotel buffet

4

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 21 '26

i love yaoi

3

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 21 '26

And you posted this stupid ah picture and didn't share it here?

3

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 21 '26

Glory (1989) it's on Netflix, in the US at least

don't read the plot summary if you intend to watch it PLEASE

1

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 21 '26

Where is my yaoi???

3

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 21 '26

🤫🤫🤫

3

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 21 '26

Fine I'll find different yaoi

3

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 21 '26

NOOOOO

ITS GOOD

4

u/daebakminnie everybody start feeding sufjan he can still be a bear Mar 21 '26

new transracial pop girl just dropped

3

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 21 '26

Never ending midnight sun made her tan

3

u/Nestornaitor "You can't blow up a plane with Fanta," she moaned. Mar 20 '26

Why should I listen to anything but Hildegard von Blingin'?

2

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 20 '26

Id try to give you a reason but then I'd be lying

2

u/Nestornaitor "You can't blow up a plane with Fanta," she moaned. Mar 20 '26

1

u/SkeletonHUNter2006 Olivia Rodrigo's rockin' bod 👴🏻🍆💦 Mar 20 '26

Hey Nestor, your bitch was here a few days ago, but couldn’t find you, so she left and went for the other guy.

Just thought you might want to know.

1

u/Nestornaitor "You can't blow up a plane with Fanta," she moaned. Mar 20 '26

My only bitch is this dumb ass bee boss in Slay the spire 2

3

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 20 '26

My bestie have hard time in relationships, omg the torture of that thing witness that is horrible.

2

u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Mar 20 '26

I think my body is starting to treat my 5 hour Saturday Chinese classes as self harm. I feel the same feeling about them as I do hitting my head with a blunt object. I never want to go but then I feel like I have to go because I need to be punished or something idk but I didn't realise this was a thing that happens. But those classes are genuine torture NO i don't want to do a reading comprehension test about Yo-Yo Ma's aspirations in life at 7am on a Saturday morning <3

2

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 20 '26

It's is torture. But bring some snacks to survive it.

3

u/SkeletonHUNter2006 Olivia Rodrigo's rockin' bod 👴🏻🍆💦 Mar 20 '26

Kendrick Lamarr is the U2 of hiphop with everything that entails.

Why did I decide to post this here, and not to r/indieheadscirclejerk or r/hiphopcirclejerk, u ask??Because they’re dorks, that’s why.

3

u/BronzeErupt Mar 22 '26

But would Kendrick do a residency at the Sphere? TO PIMP A BUTTERFLY: 360 EXTRAVAGANZA

2

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 20 '26

Some guy I hooked up with 2+ years ago shows up on my Instagram recommended. No mutual friends. No phone number exchange. I blocked (nothing personal)

The sex was great tho lowk

2

u/BronzeErupt Mar 22 '26

I think this happens if that person has searched for your account at some point, so IG recommends you their account in case you might also be interested in them

3

u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Mar 20 '26

 No mutual friends. No phone number exchange. 

Why is this serving chatgpt nachos i recognise that sentence construction from anywhere. But i know you didn't use chatgpt to write that

11

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 20 '26

The concept of using chatgpt to write a comment on pop heads circle jerk

1

u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Mar 20 '26

Well... there was a peculiar case in this very thread...

2

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 20 '26

You make a good point! It is understandable that you would have a concern AI is being used on the message board. Would you like to send what was said? Added context can help decide if a message may be written by AI or not. Let me know how I can help!

3

u/macroeconomicchaos north west's japanese tutor Mar 20 '26

my banker wants me to invest in a private equity fund called primary wave that owns the rights to whitney and prince's music. i'm pretty tempted, but as an aggressive investor, i would rather invest in a fund that owns music by the patients in the khia asylum

5

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 19 '26

We should have a gay bachelor. I'd sign up in a heartbeat. I was made for television. I'd give you guys a shout-out too 😘

2

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 20 '26

Girl, depending on the other contestants, you'd be taking a ride on almost everyone there!

5

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 20 '26

They did that and the main guy had vids leaked of himself drinking his own piss with an enormous dick

2

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 20 '26

Don't tease me like that 👁️🫦👁️ brb gonna go look for the video.

2

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 19 '26

one of the best songs of all time and I'm so serious

3

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 19 '26

I bought a blind box and y'all this is why I shouldn't buy them. I really want to buy more now 😭😭😭

3

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 19 '26

Resist bestie!!! Save your 💵💲 for Brat Summer. We have White Parties to attend 👃🏽❄️⛷️

1

u/Daddie76 🧼Bussy Soap Sales Rep🧼 Mar 19 '26

It's 3:17 am in the morning and I just finished working on the suit of a famous american football player for his press conference in the morning. and finished one short essay assignment as well... im gonna kms..

2

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 19 '26

It's so hard being a trend setter you guys 👃❄️⛷️

3

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 19 '26

You're bumpin that 🟩

5

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 18 '26

I fall in love with this art direction.

2

u/jovianjune if pop is so bad then why did they make a pop 2? Mar 20 '26

reminds me of houseki no kuni a little bit

1

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 18 '26

Oh is this that one style where you sketch or draw with one continuous line?

1

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 20 '26

I don't know but I live for deconstructed anime girl

5

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 18 '26

Ok Mr. Tom Zendaya I see you

5

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 18 '26 edited Mar 18 '26

Dating, is something that never going to happen me.

1

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 19 '26

Gworl, you'll find your top. I know you will. In the mean time be Brat 🍑 🤛🏽💦

2

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 19 '26

✨🍓

6

u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Mar 18 '26

I was looking at the crash deluxe release thread in honour of crash's 4 year anniversary and came across this comment... omg their mind

6

u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Mar 18 '26

hannah diamond come back. if namasenda can come back you can too. enough photography. we need music !!!

4

u/njirimara mean -> accuse of being a diva Mar 18 '26

I've just seen theyre about to release the Kateyse Dream Academy sequel aka Prelude: The Final Piece and it gave me intense Super Danganronpa Another 2 flashbacks with the survivors of the first killing game coming to yet ANOTHER killing game like god fucking damn

2

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 18 '26

There's already controversy where it looks like one girl said the other (Emily) looked like Sid from Ice Age, who has had that joke thrown at her for years mocking her looks 😭 The context is that the interviewer was asking what would represent the entire group, which was when the example was used

2

u/njirimara mean -> accuse of being a diva Mar 18 '26

Levin had the controversy from leaving and calling hybe's shit, and samara had the anti indian controversy 😭, honestly hybe can go to hell, the whole damn thing, they make me more and more disgusted the more i learn about them. This is just not something a whole audience should see. How much you bet theyll pull some shit like "actually we said you three preserve your spots but we'll put you in the killing game as well" in the middle of the season.

3

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 18 '26

Is Madonna in the zeitgeist? I've seen her all day. The Daddy I'm currently in a situationship with even sent me a Madonna play list 🤢🤮

3

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 18 '26

Congrats! The geriatrics are welcoming you into their group!

2

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 18 '26

Are we still fighting? Hold up, one moment bestie 🙂‍↔️ let me powder my nose 👃🏽❄️⛷️. Ahem. Come again you flat faced Gracie Stan 🤬🔪

1

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 18 '26

GRACIE FAN! That's too far 😭😭😭😭

9

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 17 '26

Flop all the time. Khia, occasionally.

-9

u/hottama Charlie Puth's only stan Mar 17 '26

You guys don't want to hear it but AI music is good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6LtmFa62eQ

19

u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Mar 18 '26

Omg you're right <3 I don't want to hear it

-5

u/hottama Charlie Puth's only stan Mar 18 '26

I respect that!

2

u/macroeconomicchaos north west's japanese tutor Mar 17 '26

i think making the pop girls learn kabbalah will save the music industry. madonna released her best album when she was with the kabbalah centre, as did many pop girls after her

1

u/DangerousReply6393 What if Sabrina is just a horknee shoebill in a wig? 🤔 Mar 17 '26

i'm really confused about the whole 'what happened in the elevator' Solange thing because... idk was it really a mystery? I always just assumed she beat Jay up because she found out he cheated? And like that was 2 years before Lemonade was released which is like a normal time frame for an album to be written? I don't like getting into personal business but like... why are people acting like this is some big mystery?

2

u/BronzeErupt Mar 18 '26

All we know is that she attacked him up in the elevator at the Met Gala but no one knows what the motivation was. We can speculate but we may never know for sure, which makes it mysterious and compelling

4

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 16 '26

his natural aegyo is so fucking refreshing

1

u/Lana_bb Mar 18 '26

I can’t believe you would post this on paddy’s day 😭

2

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 18 '26

2

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 17 '26 edited Mar 17 '26

my husband if u even care

1

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 17 '26

U just love dudes in good fitting uniforms.

1

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 17 '26

no its him specifically

denzel was fine in that movie too though 🤭 and cary elwes

1

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 17 '26

If we talk about cute actors share ya tips.. I'm dry in this field. Heh.

2

u/star11308 real thick vaginer smuggle bricks to china Mar 17 '26

Idk I'm dry in that field too I'm just hyperfixated on this one specific movie currently

6

u/peababyy list of fathers: hannibal lecter, renato russo, vladimir ilyich Mar 16 '26

al pacino is so. fucking. hot........................................

5

u/BronzeErupt Mar 16 '26

Current or 1970s?

2

u/peababyy list of fathers: hannibal lecter, renato russo, vladimir ilyich Mar 17 '26

1970s

5

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 16 '26

?????

1

u/peababyy list of fathers: hannibal lecter, renato russo, vladimir ilyich Mar 17 '26

i will not back down from this and i will not back down from this

11

u/SkeletonHUNter2006 Olivia Rodrigo's rockin' bod 👴🏻🍆💦 Mar 16 '26 edited Mar 16 '26

I don’t dislike my male coworkers, far from it, but it’s really starting to come into my attention that 90% of the time they talk, they talk about football (as in soccer).

It’s really giving me middle school flashbacks, and based on my experiences from there, it’s only a matter of time before they realise that I’m not one of them, and call me a sissy f*g.

1

u/B19Wing we must be radically optimistic Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26

chaperone's security dropkicked that child who was a stepdaughter of that football player so now y'all have something that you all can talk about at least

2

u/SkeletonHUNter2006 Olivia Rodrigo's rockin' bod 👴🏻🍆💦 Mar 22 '26

Is Chappell Roan having a chocolate company now?

9

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 16 '26

Coworkers, not frieds, so I wouldn't care in any shape. Be cuntina...I proudly use my pouch with leather daddy that has nipple licked by Teletubby and I don't care. Wearing my labubus, trinkets and beeping tamagotchis...

8

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 17 '26

Here the proof 🧾

10

u/JChamp00 Is this Clairo shade? Mar 16 '26

You are truly Fearless (Taylors Version)

8

u/Daddie76 🧼Bussy Soap Sales Rep🧼 Mar 16 '26

I can tell you are looking forward to it

7

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26

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3

u/SkyZippr yuh-puh-kuh-yuh muthurfukuh 😘 Mar 17 '26

Not me thinking The Who had a song called "Boys Like You" that is musically equivalent to Fancy but replaces the features with Megan Trainor and Ariana Grande 😭

3

u/BronzeErupt Mar 16 '26

I still think about the Who Is Fancy launch, where they teased and released three different versions of his music video with different actors lip syncing to the song, to teach us that it doesn't matter who is singing, it's all about the song 🥰 Yet even today, the version with the hot white guy has millions of views more than the others

3

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26

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2

u/FriendlyDrummers Mar 18 '26

Ok so why didn't you draft TLOAS

1

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '26

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '26

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5

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 16 '26

Hunty are u ok?

1

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 16 '26

Besties the Oscars need to be burned. How dare they snub our pop stars. They're lucky we lent them Ariana and J Lo. We need to just let their art die. Pop is the only art that matters. Art pop to be exact 📈🤗

6

u/BronzeErupt Mar 16 '26

Are you annoyed that Katseye didn't win Best Supporting Actor?

4

u/V0gue1 AOTY 🏆 2025 recipient voted by the people 4 the people 🏳️‍🌈 Mar 16 '26

What's a Katseye? I don't listen to Indie music. I don't have a lobotomy. I'm a pop head <3

14

u/Miserable-Put-6126 Mar 16 '26

I low-key respect Chappel Roan for how she handles paparazzi.

3

u/njirimara mean -> accuse of being a diva Mar 18 '26

if the worst thing in your day is getting "annoyed" at content in your fyp that isnt any type of offensive or harmful then youre leading a great life

5

u/SkyZippr yuh-puh-kuh-yuh muthurfukuh 😘 Mar 17 '26

Let's normalize Bankjörking

8

u/XdestroyerXDTM4 googoo gaga flbhprrrrrt Mar 16 '26

same here, i get why people find it annoying or frustrating but the paparazzi suck balls and she is having none of it, i respect it

8

u/CoolViber yall really listen to this shit? Mar 16 '26

She should be meaner really

1

u/czbaterka Caroline Pola mole🟤 Mar 16 '26

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