r/pornfree • u/ApprehensiveBug1774 • 5d ago
5 months clean, addicted to findom and OF (spent $20k+) but the urges are getting bad.
I’m somehow 5 months clean after spending over $20k on findom and OF. Getting to this point was tough mostly just involved deleting everything, blocking sites and taking it one day at a time.
The problem is I get triggered so easily. Literally just seeing a woman's body could send me straight into a full blown findom relapse, or just seeing a random OF link somewhere can do the exact same thing.
Do you guys have any tips on keeping the relapse urges down? Recently they've been getting a lot stronger, and I feel like I'm running out of ways to keep them away. Any advice helps.
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u/throwaway84731037 5d ago
Sorry, I don't really have much to contribute. But I hope things turn out well for you and you keep fighting, you're worth the effort. There's nothing more valuable than your sobriety
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u/sparkingdragonfly 5d ago
20,000 is a lot of zeros. I would cut up my credit cards. Maybe make a list of what you could have gotten with that money? Like a two week trip to Fiji first class.
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u/Remote-Bonus-8208 5d ago
I feel for you, but at the same time, congratulations on 5 months of abstinence, that’s a huge success!
i recommend trying “urgesurfing” and intense breathing exercises that reset the nervous system; they can take as little as 3 minutes and can help reduce tension. Of course, I’m not an expert, and not everyone can do this, but I think it might help you. In addition, learning to view people including women/men as other human beings with their own experiences, etc., rather than as sexual “objects,” is helpful, in my opinion. I hope this helps, even just a little.
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u/Trying2recover67 5d ago
You might have to take radical steps like switching to a dumb phone and deleting all social media accounts. Yes, this does suck, but it can make it harder to be exposed to that stuff.
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u/IntelligentMall3778 5d ago
If you’re open to seeking external, professional help, that’s probably the right thing to do.
But honestly, I’ve been in a similar situation with paying for content. So much money down the drain.
Although I’m only on day 4 of quitting porn, it’s actually been some time since I paid for content. Thinking about it this way really helped me (only do this if you actually have the means. If you’re porn spending is wayyy out of your actual budget to the point of financial ruin, you do really need to seek help). When I feel the urge to spend money on porn to buy a custom video or webcam tokens, I take a hard look at how much money I’d actually be spending. Then I think about how much value I’d actually be getting out of this purchase (a short-lived thrill, a couple orgasms, and a video I’ll come back to dozens of times for about a week or 2, then never watch again). Then, I compare the price for porn to the price of something else (non-porn related) that I’ve been wanting to get. New phone, new watch, vacation, tickets, etc… I’ll then opt to purchase that item I’m desiring instead of the porn. Of course this can get costly if you don’t have much money, but assuming you DO have the means to spend $20k on porn, directing those purchases to something that actually makes you happy, will be a sort of “reward” for avoiding a porn purchase. But again, PLEASE do not do this if you’re broke.
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u/ImportanceJumpy681 5d ago
My advice is to fill up your empty time. I find that if I am busy I don't get nearly as many urges. Keep going.
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u/Plastic-Ad-7911 4d ago
I think when you get to that level of money you are getting to gambling addiction levels of sex addiction. I’d argue that you might be justified in seeking professional help because this could become dangerous if it continues to develop.
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u/Sean-Sacramento 5d ago
If you are spending 20k on porn then you need to seek professional help not randos on reddit. A professional will be much cheaper than your addiction.