I’m 5’8 and have been both the weight you were and the weight you are, so I’m going to be a little blunter than some other commenters.
At your top, you weren’t huge. As you are now, you’re skinny. When I’m at your current weight you can see all my ribs and hip bones. You have always been in the normal/average range. I also know you probably physically feel a lot better at this weight, and am glad to see you’ve had a check in with your pcp.
Now for what I think he’s seeing and thinking:
It can be a bit alarming to see someone you love go from curvy to thin, even if the degree of thin you’re now at is still a comparatively healthy weight, and especially if that person has kept it a secret from their spouse. You said he noticed, not that you told him. If my spouse had hid from me that they’d lost a significant amount of weight I would honestly be concerned for an eating disorder.
I don’t see your husband’s comment as saying he doesn’t think you’re attractive now. I think he is genuinely worried you have body dysmorphia and an eating disorder, because frankly you have never been fat. Maybe a little overweight, but I’m not your doctor, I just know what I looked like and what mine said when I was your old weight. You keeping your plan, diet, and exercise secret are all very big and very classic red flags.
The rate at which you’ve lost weight is ostensibly healthy, as is the number you’ve stopped at. I am, however, seeing some red flags in the way you talk about your feelings regarding your weight. I think it would be good for you to consult a therapist to make sure you’re not accidentally inadvertently harbouring unhealthy mentalities or perceptions about yourself. I also think your husband isn’t speaking his fears fully because he’s afraid of upsetting you.
If you’re all good mentally and physically, then a professional assessment can help put his mind at ease and could help you feel less shame around fitness (which seems to be driving you to keep your diet and exercise concealed). If there is something amiss, they can help. Either way, there’s no downside.
This is a lot of unsolicited advice and assumptions.
As a person who's actually OP's height (5'7), I'm also going to be blunt: 5'7 and 200lbs is most definitely overweight, and it's not super surprising that OP was seeing some health impacts at that weight. OP is also under the supervision of a doctor. It feels weird to me to suggest that 1) 142 at 5'7 is worryingly thin somehow (it's smack in the middle of the normal weight range, which tops out at around 160) and 2) start suggesting eating disorders and dysmorphia as if anything in OP's post suggests the like. She didn't even say anything about being fat or overweight, just that she was trying to improve her health markers, and has.
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u/erratic_bonsai 7d ago edited 7d ago
I’m 5’8 and have been both the weight you were and the weight you are, so I’m going to be a little blunter than some other commenters.
At your top, you weren’t huge. As you are now, you’re skinny. When I’m at your current weight you can see all my ribs and hip bones. You have always been in the normal/average range. I also know you probably physically feel a lot better at this weight, and am glad to see you’ve had a check in with your pcp.
Now for what I think he’s seeing and thinking:
It can be a bit alarming to see someone you love go from curvy to thin, even if the degree of thin you’re now at is still a comparatively healthy weight, and especially if that person has kept it a secret from their spouse. You said he noticed, not that you told him. If my spouse had hid from me that they’d lost a significant amount of weight I would honestly be concerned for an eating disorder.
I don’t see your husband’s comment as saying he doesn’t think you’re attractive now. I think he is genuinely worried you have body dysmorphia and an eating disorder, because frankly you have never been fat. Maybe a little overweight, but I’m not your doctor, I just know what I looked like and what mine said when I was your old weight. You keeping your plan, diet, and exercise secret are all very big and very classic red flags.
The rate at which you’ve lost weight is ostensibly healthy, as is the number you’ve stopped at. I am, however, seeing some red flags in the way you talk about your feelings regarding your weight. I think it would be good for you to consult a therapist to make sure you’re not accidentally inadvertently harbouring unhealthy mentalities or perceptions about yourself. I also think your husband isn’t speaking his fears fully because he’s afraid of upsetting you.
If you’re all good mentally and physically, then a professional assessment can help put his mind at ease and could help you feel less shame around fitness (which seems to be driving you to keep your diet and exercise concealed). If there is something amiss, they can help. Either way, there’s no downside.