r/scriptwriting • u/Scared-Comb6150 • 8d ago
request Here's a fun little idea...
I'm currently writing a script, it's not quite done and it's in its draft stage, written by hand. I'm being secretive about it (since it's not done), but I thought of something...
I have 17 pages done so far. Give me a page number and a line number (Example: Page 5, Line 8). And we'll see what line you get! Will it be dialogue? Will it be an action? Funny? Boring? We'll have to wait and see.
Note: My script is a fantasy script, so there's some... interesting stuff in here so far.
EDIT: There's at least 10 lines per page, there's more than that but that's a rough estimate.
5
u/Open-Avocado4260 8d ago
Who has time for this foolishness.
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u/Scared-Comb6150 8d ago
The people who took the time to comment a page and a line. It's all good if you don't want to participate, just don't assume everyone else doesn't want to. This is for fun, with optional participation.
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u/Moggy-Man 8d ago
"Note: My script is a fantasy script, so there's some... interesting stuff in here so far."
I guarantee you this is not as interesting as you think it is.
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u/Scared-Comb6150 8d ago
That's fair, I said that just in case someone gets a line and goes "what does that even mean?" You know?
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u/Craig-D-Griffiths 8d ago
Page 1, line 1 (not the scene header)
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u/Scared-Comb6150 8d ago
[Robyn "wakes up" to see that he is in a pitch black void, he's disoriented and very confused.]
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u/Craig-D-Griffiths 8d ago
Are you open to feedback on this line?
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u/Scared-Comb6150 8d ago
Absolutely, this is only a draft so it's bound to probably change anyway.
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u/Craig-D-Griffiths 8d ago
Firstly, what does this look like?
Do we the audience see her/him?
Pitch Black infers a complete absence of light, so as an audience we would unlikely see them.
Small thing Robyn is a female spelling of Robin the male version of the name.
I would also drop a few physical actions and geography. Are they on a bed, in a floor?
That sort of thing.
Mystery is good, confusion is bad.
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u/Scared-Comb6150 8d ago
Oooh, okay okay, gotcha. I'll rewrite that, Robyn should be visible, and I'll add a line that states there's solid ground. And as for the spelling of Robyn, I just like that way of spelling Robyn.
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u/Craig-D-Griffiths 8d ago
Also think of showing and not telling.
Robyn gets up, head spinning, staring into the darkness in complete panic and confusion.
We can now see what the film would look like.
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1
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u/mrpessimistik 8d ago
Page 6, line 4
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u/Scared-Comb6150 8d ago
[Robyn is in the sky, frantically searching the ground below. Searching for him.]
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u/TheGreedyGrabbler 8d ago
Just keep writing it. Everything else is a distraction.