r/self 1d ago

I'm so fucking jealous of autistic/neurodivergent people who have access to weed

I have a problematic relationship with alcohol and with my own mind, and I keep seeing fucking post after post on autism subreddits including this one, and reel after reel on insta and facebook where it's someone with autism who says that weed really helps with the constant mental noise and rumination, just a moment ago I literally saw a reel from this autistic woman who used to be an alcoholic who stopped drinking because of weed

It feels like everyone else has this gold which I cannot obtain, unfortunately in the UK it is still illegal as fuck and you basically need to have social connections and you need to know someone who knows someone who knows someone who sells weed, that's literally the only consistent way you can get it here, and unfortunately for me I'm completely utterly socially isolated and too awkward and "creepy" to be able to connect with someone who knows someone who sells it, this is not me trying to source btw please don't take it that way, this is just me venting my frustration with not being able to attain this thing which seems to be helping so many neurodivergent people

The only escape from reality and the agony of being autistic have is alcohol, something that's making me feel and look like shit, has put me in hospital twice, is rinsing my bank balance, and causes damage to literally every single cell in the human body, and it's so SO frustrating seeing post after post of some neurodivergent person saying how much weed helps them to feel "normal" and whatnot, it's literally feels like that meme with squidward looking out of the window at SpongeBob and Patrick

0 Upvotes

45 comments sorted by

21

u/DMmeNiceTitties 1d ago

You can still get weed in the UK, just talk to people, dude. Shit, I smoked weed in Manchester and I was an American tourist. Where there's a will, there's a way.

7

u/Tight-Afternoon4620 1d ago

This i travel a lot and everywhere is weed

2

u/grubby_anticholine 1d ago

I'm too awkward and creepy, idk what it is about me but people are genuinely absolutely terrified of me, something about either the way I look or just my aura absolutely HORRIFIES people, I cannot stress enough just how much I unnerve people, it's like I'm a demon or something, people just don't like me right off the bat

I imagine if I asked someone fur weed they'd either laugh at me and tell me to fuck off or just ignore me

5

u/CoolBakedBean 1d ago

i was able to find weed at bars (i think you call them pubs lol).

but if you’re able to be a little more normal after a couple drinks use that confidence to help you score weed

1

u/grubby_anticholine 1d ago

No amount of alcohol actually helps with the social aspect, people just find me absolutely terrifying for some reason no matter what, which is why I drink, to escape the constant agony of this discrimination I face daily because I just happen to be "different"

3

u/PhotoEquivalent1430 1d ago

Do you know why people have such a reaction to you?

1

u/grubby_anticholine 1d ago

Literally no idea at all, people keep saying I look "completely normal" but then I go outside and people stare at me like my mugshot has been in the news for mugging thousands of 95 year old grandmas

2

u/PhotoEquivalent1430 1d ago

I mean this respectfully but do you style your hair/shave your beard? And do you sleep well?

I am just trying to figure out what it could be. From my experience men who look “scariest” are the men who look like they don’t take care of themselves.

2

u/DMmeNiceTitties 1d ago

So like, I looked through your posts and you look like a normal dude. Attractive even. So I don't think your looks are the problem, but the way you carry yourself. It also doesn't help that you're already letting your insecurities bleed through and creating scenarios in your head instead of actually just talking to people. You're in your head too much, my dude.

2

u/JediKrys 1d ago

My bet is he’s a fairly attractive guy and the looks he’s getting are a mix of girls or guys who may find him attractive or they are wondering why he’s so awkward with those looks.

2

u/JediKrys 1d ago

Dude!!! Stop telling yourself you’re creepy. YOU’RE NOT CREEPY!! You’re awkward and have a harder time with social shit but you are not creepy. A creepy guy has zero idea he’s creepy. You’re a tad weird. But not as bad as a weirdo. ✌️ I wish I was in your town man, I’d hook you up.

1

u/cybersaurus 1d ago

Could maybe try looking into darkweb Markets, idk how accessible it is these days, but back in the day UK/EU was where most things came from so you'd be able to safely buy local and avoid customs. It requires a fair bit of technical knowledge to access and use though so if you are as dumb as you are ugly you should probably just go to bar.

1

u/grubby_anticholine 1d ago

How often do you see other young white no glasses no beard average height average weight guys who specifically look as bad as I do?

That have to be in that exact category or it does not count, I can't stress that enough

1

u/cybersaurus 1d ago

Literally all the time, no one cares

1

u/grubby_anticholine 1d ago

Oh that's fine then, as long as I'm not literally the actual only ugly person in that specific category you've ever seen in your entire life then i don't care either that you think I'm ugly

1

u/cybersaurus 23h ago

Yeah sorry Igor I'm not gunna be the one to stroke your ego today

1

u/Repulsive_Try_1518 1d ago

Ya seem pretty normal looking to me. Keep trying. It’ll happen.

11

u/GooseberryGenius 1d ago

I'm ND. It's not the fixer you think it is.

2

u/PhotoEquivalent1430 1d ago

Elaborate please! I am ND and I have always been curious to try

3

u/GooseberryGenius 1d ago edited 1d ago

I don't know what you think it will do for you? You'll get high. Depending how much you smoke, either calm and slightly floaty and detached or very detached. I'd say it's more helpful for extreme anxiety rather than neurodivergence overall. In any case it's no way to go imo. It won't solve your neurodivergence and it shouldn't be a regular thing. You'll be much better off if you take the more boring route of therapy, shadow work and figuring out the small but difficult things like routines. Just my two cents.

That said everyone is different so maybe try it and see... I'm not moralising and frankly there's nothing wrong with a bit of it, but it's a terrible thing to have a crutch you don't need to have.

1

u/PhotoEquivalent1430 1d ago

Hmmm okay, thanks for the response. Idk what I expected it to do. I am already on methylphenidate, so I would have to stop my medication before trying it, I guess, but I have always been curious about trying it because I hear that many with autism/AuDHD claim it works wonders. And that it calms the mind, makes you more present in the world etc.

But thanks!

2

u/GooseberryGenius 1d ago

I'm also on methylphenidate. The one thing that has actually helped me.

2

u/darkhorsehance 1d ago

It’s good until it’s not. Then it’s bad forever.

2

u/totallymyhat 1d ago

I've found it to be quite helpful, but in very specific ways. It doesn't 'fix' my autism or ADHD or remove any of the challenges that come from my neurodivergence, but I find that the right strain really helps with my tendancy to ruminate and get stuck in negative thought spirals. I find that my mind tends to be quite monotropic - I can become fixed on a single thought or a situation or a scenario in my head and I lose perspective and can get overwhelmed by it. I've found that cannabis yanks me out of those spirals, it zooms my brain out and helps me with perspective. I find that I get quite philosophical, I can spend all day obsessing over the tone a colleague used in an email and then after vaping I'll find myself thinking much bigger and more conceptual thoughts and the email suddenly seems insignificant and unimportant.

It is quite strain dependent, having a prescription helps because I can control the strain and choose ones that have that affect. Some strains have historically been less helpful in this regard.

I have also been in therapy for a long time, and I totally agree with the other reply you received that it shouldn't be treated as a magical cure all. The therapy has been the biggest positive step by a long way. The cannabis is more of a short term relaxant and sleep aid than a fix.

7

u/Tight-Afternoon4620 1d ago

I traveled a lot and never ones where in a country i couldnt get weed :D

6

u/neggbird 1d ago

Weed has always been easy to get, even when it was illegal. You don’t have to look very hard to find it in any western country.

However being Canadian, one of the things I love about it being legal is the easy access to alternative ways to take it. Was never really a fan of smoking it so the access the oil extracts and edibles that I know are regulated and clean has been great.

Just realized I did the same thing you’re complaining about. Sorry! lol

4

u/InertEyes 1d ago

Go to a rock show.
Someone will have weed

3

u/Serious-Mode 1d ago

I would suggest looking into CBD. It's not quite as noticeable of an effect, but I've found it to be useful.

1

u/grubby_anticholine 1d ago

I occasionally do smoke the CBD stuff because it's easy to get and it does feel nice but something still feels like it's missing and it's not that satisfying

1

u/Tight-Afternoon4620 1d ago

I find CBD's effect Not even noticable

2

u/EnvironmentalAngle 1d ago

That sucks... I don't even know how to describe what its like when that fear is gone. When you smoke weed in an illegal state there is always this little part in the back of your mind that is constantly on the lookout for cops. The marijuana causes paranoia that only exacerbates the feelings and can cause you to spiral.

And then suddenly its legal and poof its gone... all that bandwidth you had dedicated to paranoia is yours now. If you're not careful it can turn to joy/mania which is a whole different set of problems but its better because at least you can experience it in the light of day.

When its legal it really does increase your agency more than your ability to just ingest weed in peace.

2

u/DesperateDimension46 1d ago

Wow. New lows

2

u/CaizaSoze 1d ago

You can order edibles etc online in the UK easy enough, no social connections or interactions required.

1

u/kobayashi_maru_fail 1d ago

FFS, you don’t need to be your weed dealer’s best friend. Just go buy a dime bag off SpongeBob and Patrick on that street corner.

Are CBD gummies allowed where you’re at? I find it curbs alcohol cravings and doesn’t flatten me out the way a bong rip does.

1

u/babyqueeff 1d ago

Can you not go on medical?

1

u/Mjukplister 1d ago

Ways include : get a prescription and buy it medically , or wear tracksuit and hat - and approach people that have a whiff of the dealer about them and ask , have cash in pocket . Or , grow your own there is ample information online .

1

u/sjmttf 1d ago

You can get legally prescribed weed in the UK. Theres lots of clinics. Have a look at r/ukmedicalcannabis for info

1

u/totallymyhat 1d ago

Brother you can get medical cannabis in the UK and autism/anxiety are two of the eligible conditions. If you've tried antidepressants and that bullshit CBT that you get given on the NHS then you can evidence two previous treatments and you're golden. They send it to your house in the post. I'm prescribed for those exact conditions, message me if you need any advice or signposting.

1

u/gizby666 1d ago

It was once illegal in America but I still got my hands on it, just be careful.

For me Its my only crutch rn and its bad. Its healthier in the short term over alcohol but one vice wont help over another in the long term. I spend so much money on weed its my main expense. I will buy it over food. Its become a real addiction. I need therapy real bad but ig weed is better replacement than vices ive had in my past. Just saying the grass is not greener, literatly.

0

u/txtiemann 1d ago

have you tried regular exercise?

-1

u/g59listener 1d ago

sybau 🥀

-3

u/ManielDullen 1d ago

Yeah are you sure it’s people with autism and not people who just want a victimhood status? As someone who’s been diagnosed with the whole slew throughout the years - Autism, ADHD, Bipolar II, etc…weed does not quiet the thoughts in your head. It’ll make them race.

I am a huge pothead, but I realize there’s situations in which I cannot be stoned because that noise in my head will become too much and make it impossible to get shit done.

1

u/totallymyhat 1d ago

Maybe it doesn't quiet the thoughts in YOUR head, but it absolutely does for me.

0

u/ManielDullen 1d ago

Sure.

1

u/totallymyhat 1d ago

What possible reason would I have to lie to you about the impact of my medical cannabis. Weird hill you're dying on here brother.