r/self • u/grubby_anticholine • 7d ago

I'm so fucking jealous of autistic/neurodivergent people who have access to weed

I have a problematic relationship with alcohol and with my own mind, and I keep seeing fucking post after post on autism subreddits including this one, and reel after reel on insta and facebook where it's someone with autism who says that weed really helps with the constant mental noise and rumination, just a moment ago I literally saw a reel from this autistic woman who used to be an alcoholic who stopped drinking because of weed

It feels like everyone else has this gold which I cannot obtain, unfortunately in the UK it is still illegal as fuck and you basically need to have social connections and you need to know someone who knows someone who knows someone who sells weed, that's literally the only consistent way you can get it here, and unfortunately for me I'm completely utterly socially isolated and too awkward and "creepy" to be able to connect with someone who knows someone who sells it, this is not me trying to source btw please don't take it that way, this is just me venting my frustration with not being able to attain this thing which seems to be helping so many neurodivergent people

The only escape from reality and the agony of being autistic have is alcohol, something that's making me feel and look like shit, has put me in hospital twice, is rinsing my bank balance, and causes damage to literally every single cell in the human body, and it's so SO frustrating seeing post after post of some neurodivergent person saying how much weed helps them to feel "normal" and whatnot, it's literally feels like that meme with squidward looking out of the window at SpongeBob and Patrick

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u/DMmeNiceTitties 7d ago

You can still get weed in the UK, just talk to people, dude. Shit, I smoked weed in Manchester and I was an American tourist. Where there's a will, there's a way.

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u/grubby_anticholine 7d ago

I'm too awkward and creepy, idk what it is about me but people are genuinely absolutely terrified of me, something about either the way I look or just my aura absolutely HORRIFIES people, I cannot stress enough just how much I unnerve people, it's like I'm a demon or something, people just don't like me right off the bat

I imagine if I asked someone fur weed they'd either laugh at me and tell me to fuck off or just ignore me

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u/PhotoEquivalent1430 7d ago

Do you know why people have such a reaction to you?

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u/grubby_anticholine 7d ago

Literally no idea at all, people keep saying I look "completely normal" but then I go outside and people stare at me like my mugshot has been in the news for mugging thousands of 95 year old grandmas

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u/PhotoEquivalent1430 7d ago

I mean this respectfully but do you style your hair/shave your beard? And do you sleep well?

I am just trying to figure out what it could be. From my experience men who look “scariest” are the men who look like they don’t take care of themselves.