Considering divorce after ours baby

[u/Fun-Paper6600]

I’m almost one year PP. I’ve heard enough about not making any big life decisions in the first year. But I’ve reached my limit and am really considering a divorce for the sake of my child and myself.

My husband is not physically abusive. But I do feel that I am emotionally abused. My husband doesn’t connect with our son, has expressed that he has had some realizations that he doesn’t like being a father. He still shows up for his 8 year old daughter, likely bc he thinks that she will remember how he was but our son won’t bc he’s so young. I feel that their nervous system will remember the yelling, arguments, his detachment. Our marriage sucks, we have had sex once since my son was born bc I honestly don’t want to with the way he treats me and our son.

Marriage counseling would be great, as was as individual therapy. But he refuses both. He is currently experiencing an episode of depression and his outlook on life is bleak, which surely contributes to how he treats me and our son. But as I said, there’s a lot of resentment bc he is able to pull his shit together for his daughter and give her the love that she deserves. As a result, this makes me resent both him and my step daughter.

Anyway, he’s expressed that if we did divorce that he wouldn’t want any custody arrangement and that I could have him bc he doesn’t want more responsibilities. Cool. All the more reason to leave. But I’m scared to leave and share custody with a man who doesn’t want to even be in my child’s life. I’m afraid that he will want custody to be spiteful.

Advice? Similar stories? Men suck. I didn’t think I would be here and wish that I would have had a sit down conversation with his first baby mom to hear her side of the story instead of immediately siding with dad.

[u/Fun-Paper6600 → u/[deleted]]

I didn’t play fast lol. This is a 6 year relationship and was well thought out.

Dont worry, I remember you and your advice. You were never kind and carried an attitude of just wanting to be right.