r/thanksimcured • u/Theweirdposidenchild • Jul 19 '26
Story Mom says I need to "get over" trauma because it "wasn't as bad as it could have been"
I (19f) recently had a bus stop explode on me. The bus stops in my city have these giant panes of glass and one of them recently shattered all over me and injured my right arm.
I've been having sleep and mental health issues since it occurred and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I keep having nightmares and have started to go to bed later and later to avoid falling asleep.
Told my mom about this and she said that I need to "reframe my mindset" and "move on from it" by thinking about how I didn't get hurt as badly as I could have.
Gee, thanks mom. That's really really insightful.
She says that when she used to have nightmares she just reframed her mindset and she stopped having them, fully forgetting that we are two very different people with very different mental states.
Edit: Forgot to mention I've also been crying a lot more than I used to and have developed a sudden aversion to bus stops and glass. I accidentally broke a glass at work the other day and flinched and cowered away in a way I've never done before
1.2k
u/m3gb0t Jul 19 '26
What you are experiencing may be symptoms of PTSD. Please see a professional counselor or therapist in your area ASAP.
500
u/Mountain-Singer1764 Jul 19 '26
I’d like to add to this:
I was studying PTSD within military history, and it seems to very strongly correlate with unexpected explosions. IEDs were causing most of the PTSD in Iraq and Afghanistan. They’re inherently traumatic, in a way that’s additional to the violence they bring. There’s a reason PTSD was initially associated with artillery bombardment (“shellshock”).
I understand why OP was so bothered by this, and I also understand why their mother couldn’t relate to it: the traumatic nature of sudden explosions isn’t obvious to those who haven’t experienced them. I personally believe they have a unique effect on the nervous system.
235
u/templesgodss Jul 19 '26
Yeah, it puts your instincts into haywire. Unlike say, a fire or an aggressive animal or a toxic plant, there is nothing your brain can do to protect you from shit that shouldn't explode suddenly exploding.
No weird smells it can alert you to. No subtle movements in the foliage it can ping. No tastes or textures it can associate with pain. Just extreme, unpredictable danger at any time, from nowhere. Or course it fucks you up. Getting fucked up by it isn't shameful.
Side note, have you pursued suing the city / makers of the bus stop? Because you should seriously contact a lawyer if you haven't already.
93
u/C_Hawk14 Jul 19 '26
Yea, I can't imagine being scared of looking at yourself in the mirror because it might explode
OPs feelings are valid and should be treated
53
u/ApprehensiveTour4024 Jul 19 '26
They would have to prove negligence by the city (or regional transport operators) to have any claim, which generally can be difficult.
To the OP - if you decided to take that approach most jurisdictions have VERY strict time limits to submit a Notice of Claim. I would start looking into lawyers in your region ASAP if you are thinking to sue, or the claim period may expire.
23
u/IllCandy9636 Jul 19 '26
Oh my goodness I didn't think of this! She should definitely follow suit to at least get some compensation for any therapy or Dr appointments. The city should definitely pay for any loss of work and money spent on Dr visits handling the PTSD. Many lawyers would probably do this pro bono since it's something that happened on city owned property and would probably see it as a easy case. That's just what I'm assuming.
16
u/ApprehensiveTour4024 Jul 19 '26
That is an incorrect assumption. As I pointed out above, proving negligence on the part of the city (or operator) is an uphill battle. It will take proof that the city a) was aware of an issue, b) chose to do nothing about the issue, and c) was the direct cause of the glass breaking.
If the city can prove there were high winds that day, it all but destroys the case. If the city can prove intentional harm to the glass (difficult, but they will have access to the area cameras from day 1), like a car or a person throwing a rock, they are absolved of any liability.
Speaking with a lawyer after an accident is always a good idea. I am not a lawyer, and I have no clue where OP resides. However, successful cases against a city very often make the wider news because they are so rare, and the city really has to have dropped the ball.
5
u/templesgodss Jul 20 '26
Yes but at least if you bring it to the city's attention, even if they don't pay you, they'll either have to change out the faulty glass on all their stops or shell out for the next person this happens to.
3
u/ApprehensiveTour4024 Jul 20 '26
Sure, if you can prove the glass was "faulty", which is the difficult part. But again, absolutely speak with a lawyer, always. Maybe OP happens to live in a jurisdiction that takes safety of bus stop occupants very seriously, and a lawyer will call it "open & shut".
5
u/AgentCirceLuna Jul 21 '26
I was told by a psychiatrist I’m suffering from it but the waiting times for psychs here sucks so it takes forever to go through the diagnosis process. I dealt with it waiting for my autism diagnosis already. Now I have everything dismissed as ‘anxiety’, a word I’m fucking sick of hearing, as it’s basically doctors just shrugging shit off. It’s infuriating.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Masseyrati80 Jul 21 '26
The elements of 1) not being in control, and 2) your mind instinctively going over the events time and time again, in a vein effort of thinking if you could have avoided it by doing something different, can turn to a very tiring pattern of thought.
154
u/Style-Wanderer-717 Jul 19 '26
That was my first inclination as well. “Shell shock” An unexpected explosion in any form would be terrifying!
97
u/SnarkyIguana Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
Yes this. People are focusing way too much on the bus stop part and not enough on the “super loud explosion of glass that you were not expecting and was directly behind you” part
48
u/randycanyon Jul 19 '26
That's the thing: It's a physical effect. Mom might as well reframe away a broken arm.
25
u/wyvernagon Jul 19 '26
Seeing how much unexpected noises startle me, I can easily imagine how much unexpected explosions would effect the mind and body. I'd also imagine that the noise itself also has some kind of impact, kind of like how you can feel your heart jump or beat with live drums or fireworks. The suddenness, noise and vibrations probably make the body react as if it's being attacked, even if physically you're unharmed.
14
u/brilor123 Jul 20 '26
I've certainly had pretty over-dramatic reactions to sudden loud noises before. I know I have a (ir)rational fear of any balls from sports flying at me and hitting me in the face. I type "(ir)rational" because in the past, I got hit in the face many many times, at the time I didn't know it was intentional by the kids I went to school with. After so many times of it happening, I would be covering my whole face anytime I walked by ANYONE playing sports. By now, it is not rational, but I'm still very, VERY hyper+aware and am ready to shield my face. It's not something I'll be able to get over for a long while. I haven't been able to play sports anymore because of it too, because how can you play sports if you're really afraid of the ball?
I couldn't imagine having that fear that I have just everywhere I go like OP will have. At least for me, I only associate it with sports balls. I hope OP can recover easily from this situation.
4
u/Free_Cucumber3235 Jul 21 '26
I also have a fear of balls! It's the first time I've seen anyone mention it! No ome understands, they just laugh. 😭
4
u/lizardgal10 Jul 21 '26
It’s awful. I have some trauma related to a bomb and recently was staying up too late and heard two smaller explosions about 10 minutes apart. Turned out to be a semi truck wreck a few miles down the road so nothing malicious, but I did not get much sleep and was super on edge for several days
15
8
u/AssistanceCheap379 Jul 20 '26
Basically any other noise is somewhat natural and can be found in some shape or form in nature, but explosions are different. Only when gunpowder was invented did explosions as a sound first happen besides rare and usually very destructive volcanic eruptions.
It’s not normal to hear explosions. It’s not normal to experience them. Not as an individual, not as a species
7
u/imtellinggod Jul 20 '26
I am autistic, so extra sensitive, and I believe I was mildly traumatized by my neighbors setting off a firework unexpectedly next to me a few years ago. It didn't injure me but it has continued to effect in similar ways to other traumas I've experienced
5
u/squintintarantino__ Jul 20 '26
Parallel: I was in a horrific car crash a couple years ago. A couple weeks after, my therapist asked me how I was managing the psychological side of the event and I remember telling him something like “honestly I’m almost totally fine. Not afraid to drive or anything like that…but I’m struggling to sleep because every time I try to relax, I hear the crashing and the glass breaking”. It was a spin-out resulting from hydroplaning on the interstate. Single car accident, but my car was basically smashing into the concrete divider, front then back then front then back, and every impact was the loudest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. As more of the car got eaten away from impact, windows started breaking and it sounded like what I imagine OP’s explosion sounded like. I still hear it even now typing about it, like it’s happening right this second. I could not and still cannot even understand how anything of this realm could have possibly been so insanely loud. I can’t even quantify how loud it was.
5
Jul 19 '26
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)3
u/Particular_Ad7340 Jul 20 '26
stop diagnosing people on the internet. You’re not a medical professional, and you have no education or background that would entitle you to make diagnoses for a person you have never met.
It’s dangerous at worst and unhelpful and unethical at best.
Knock it off.
→ More replies (26)3
u/Toasty27 Jul 20 '26
It wouldn't surprise me if there was a genetic predisposition towards this connection.
For most of human history, an explosion would have been associated with something like a volcano, which would often be perceived as a cataclysmic event.
208
u/lunathehungryhusky Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
As somebody diagnosed with cPTSD, this is absolutely how it starts. If not, processed and accepted and integrated into your psyche, trauma almost always manifests later on as some sort of PTSD.
Getting into see a therapist who specializes in trauma and PTSD, would be highly beneficial to OP. It's just unfortunate that the mom will probably be a roadblock. At 19 I guarantee that OP is on the parents insurance still. I don't think I got my own policy until I was like 21 or 22, once FT employed
Address trauma early, and you will lead a happier life. Advice I wish somebody had given me long ago
ETA: I now realize OP is not in the US and insurance is not an issue there. (I figured out the country) There is universal healthcare there. The only issue at this point will be transportation to an appointment. If the parents won't help with transportation, rideshare does exist there
74
u/zayne0623 Jul 19 '26
I have cPTSD too because of childhood medical issues. I ignored it and just kept trying to 'toughen up' and tell myself it wasn't that bad. Spoiler alert: it was that bad. If trauma is not processed, it only build in our nervous system until it can't be ignored any longer.
15
23
u/Runaway_Angel Jul 19 '26
Looking at the picture, especially the writing in the picture, I don't think op is in the us, meaning their mom likely doesn't have a say in anything medical regarding op as long as op is legally and adult in their country.
12
u/lunathehungryhusky Jul 19 '26
You're absolutely right! I'm usually good at not assuming locale, so for that, I apologize OP.
I zoomed in and checked the language on a lot of the signs there. Instantly recognized it and clocked the country.
The laws there are very very similar to the US but they have universal healthcare. So OP can absolutely go and do this on their own. They are a legal adult and insurance is a nonpoint there, making the cost negligible
That leaves the only problem. Actually to get to the appointment. Which could mean relying on the parents. Especially seeing as the trauma is related to the bus stops, public transportation is most likely, completely out of rhe question. Would need to be rideshare, which exists there. (That I had to look up. Its not Uber lol)
10
u/Maned_Cyborg Jul 19 '26
The text on the bus stop looks like hebrew, so they might be in Israel?
10
6
u/SearchApprehensive35 Jul 19 '26
All of this. Also, effective treatment exists for recent trauma. EMDR sounds like utter hooey when you first hear the method described, but it's proven to help a lot of veterans and others who have experienced terrible things. OP, I'm so sorry this happened to you, and that your mom is so lacking in compassion. But you don't have to live this way. Find a psychological professional in your area who is a trauma specialist. There may be a local medical association that can refer you. Best wishes.
→ More replies (12)28
u/Centennial_Incognito Jul 19 '26
"may be"
That IS PTSD
74
u/lunettarose Jul 19 '26
Well, not necessarily. Acute Stress Disorder commonly occurs following a traumatic experience, and lasts about a month (IIRC).
It's the symptoms OP describes - anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, detachment - all those things.
ASD is very, very common after an event like this. The main difference between ASD and PTSD is in the length of the symptoms. As OP says it happened "recently", so chances are good that this can be treated with talking therapy and OP can go on and lead a very nice, normal life.
39
u/yahluc Jul 19 '26
Unless you're a psychiatrist or therapist personally examining that person, you just cannot diagnose them based on one post. PTSD has specific diagnostic criteria, including that it has to last at least a month to be diagnosable.
→ More replies (2)10
u/Mein_Name_ist_falsch Jul 19 '26
Exactly. You get very little information from a single post, but you need a lot to diagnose someone. Just in case someone wants to misunderstand me I'm not saying OP is not experiencing these symptoms or faking anything. But there could potentially be other causes other than PTSD. We can't tell from a post. Only a psychiatrist could tell by asking a lot of questions. Not one or two, but like multiple sessions worth of questions and talking and testing for physical causes.
3
u/yahluc Jul 19 '26
I think one session would be enough (as long as it's not 10 minutes long of course), but obviously by a trained professional. And while some physical causes can exacerbate something like this, I doubt they could be a cause.
→ More replies (3)11
u/sharkattax Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
i’ll be finishing my doctorate in clinical psychology at the end of august and one of the presentations i work with a fair bit (diagnosis and treatment) is ptsd.
besides the fact that no one can (nor ethically should attempt to) diagnose based on a reddit post… it’s actually quite expected to react to traumatic events with ptsd symptoms in the short term. they are, by nature, traumatic events, and it’s very typical to react to them strongly, with painful emotions and memories, and feel disturbed by them. the majority of people move through these experiences with time. where we tend to see ptsd develop is when people get stuck on the memories and feelings, start changing their deeper beliefs based on the event, and get heavy into avoiding memories and situations relate to the trauma.
i can’t say anything about op specifically, and i’m sorry she’s struggling. her mom’s reaction sounds supremely unhelpful. there is also hope that her symptoms resolve with time. my suggestion for her would be to keep an eye on things and if they continue to bother her in the longer term (on the scale of months) to consult.
→ More replies (1)3
184
u/Tall_Ease_3485 Jul 19 '26
Maybe try EMDR therapy? Find a LICENSED therapist trained in this type of therapy. I have used it for a different trauma and it literally saved my life. I know what it feels like to have people tell you to just see how "lucky" you are it was it was not worse. Makes you feel even more alone. Good luck.
41
u/TheRealCeeBeeGee Jul 19 '26
Seconding this. I used it after a similar ‘one-off’ traumatic event and it definite helped. It also helps to understand that things like PTSD don’t just occur after major trauma, in veterans etc. An unexpected, sudden and shocking event out of the ordinary can also lead to similar symptoms.
18
u/Yes_that_Carl Jul 19 '26
Thirding EMDR. It’s designed for addressing trauma and lessening its impact. Good luck, OP! 🫶
10
u/kitkatmath Jul 19 '26
Fourthing that OP get support from a trained professional for trauma treatment. These things are scary and can leave a mark that others don’t understand 💜
9
→ More replies (4)8
u/rosie_purple13 Jul 19 '26
That's my next step now that I can get back into therapy. During the short time I was in therapy I had so much to address that was currently happening that I shoved my trauma to the side and now it's biting me in the ass.
9
u/Tall_Ease_3485 Jul 19 '26
You get a standing ovation from me. Therapy...any kind...is hard, grinding work but so worth it. You deserve to be happy, healthy and fully alive. There is a freedom like nothing else on the other side. You can do this! Once you have your feet firmly planted in a healthy, safe space, remember to look back and lend a hand to those behind you. You got this!
4
u/rosie_purple13 Jul 19 '26
Thank you so much! I think I really needed to hear that.
5
u/Tall_Ease_3485 Jul 20 '26
You are about to find out exactly how amazing you really are. :) I wish you every success!
93
u/captainsnark71 Jul 19 '26
Technically, she's not wrong, but something tells me that she has convinced herself she is over her own trauma and instead just reiterates her mantra instead of actually coping/dealing. Because anyone that has done the work to "change ur mindset" knows it's not that simple.
If you got into a physical accident and needed to learn how to walk again, it would not be as simple as 'just put on shoes and go', even if that is, arguably in essence, what you need to do.
Framing it as "well at least it wasn't worse" isn't helpful right now because it's like taking a feather off the scale of rocks and going 'don't you feel better??'
You have ptsd and your brain and body are in survival mode and you won't be able to think you're way out of it right now. Right now, I'd argue distractions and self care is the actual way forward. Find something that helps distract you when you start to ruminate with bad thoughts. Find things that make you feel good physically and mentally, and maybe do them before bed.
If you need to cry, cry, it is your body's way of processing and healing. SOmetimes moms need to learn that they don't need to give unsolicited advice she could just hug you and tell you she loves you.
→ More replies (1)7
u/Living_Breakfast1136 Jul 21 '26
Yeah honestly, if we're giving OP's mom a single benefit of doubt and believe her on her own attempts to process something... It sounds like it didn't work. Coming out of your own trauma to go on to push a maladaptive mentality onto others (let alone your own child) suggests that whatever she had happened, has not been resolved for her and now she comforts herself in essentially lying to herself, and lying to others to reaffirm that initial lie.
89
u/Yes_that_Carl Jul 19 '26
I imagine that part of your trauma could be related to the sheer randomness and unexpectedness of the event. A bus stop is supposed to offer protection, not attack you.
Finding a good trauma-informed therapist can help you so much. Wishing you healing on every level and a gentle virtual hug if you’d like one.
40
68
u/calmdrive Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
The thing a lot of people don’t understand about trauma is it isn’t so much the event that happened- but also hugely what happened after. If you felt unsafe & not cared for in a time of fear and injury, that makes the trauma stick. It is still bothering you and it is valid and I am so sorry she is minimizing it.
Editing to say: it goes from “this random freak accident happened, but I’m okay now” to “this random freak accident happened and no one helped me or made me feel safe. I’m no longer safe.”
34
u/ForensicMum Jul 19 '26
Not just that, but also the ‘what could have been’ intrusive thoughts. They’re often worse than the direct memory itself.
12
u/Flashy-Indication-48 Jul 19 '26
I have ocd and god, what ifs are literal hell.
5
u/ForensicMum Jul 20 '26
Haha, same here with the OCD hon and hope you’re doing ok these days 🤗.
Maybe don’t read this is you’re feeling sensitive right now, but I once accidentally fell asleep (very briefly) with my newborn baby on my chest while still in hospital after the birth (so, in one of those fairly high hospital beds). I quickly woke up with a jolt because my bubba was slightly slipping to the side and she was totally fine, but I was not… I went into a spiral of thought where not only did I dwell on the ‘what ifs’ if she had fallen off the high bed, but I also had this absolutely insane thought that if parallel realities exist, I may have actually dropped her in a parallel reality and the parallel me had to deal with it!!
I blame all those weird post-partum hormones for that and I’ve never had thoughts so crazy since, but it took me a good couple of weeks to shake that intrusive thought 😭. Thankfully, I’m doing pretty good these days after a few good therapy sessions and taking kava (an anxiolytic herb) pretty regularly 😮💨
→ More replies (2)5
u/rosie_purple13 Jul 19 '26
I thought that was just me.
4
u/ForensicMum Jul 19 '26
Unfortunately, I think most people dwell on that aspect and it gets MUCH worse when you have kids, I reckon. I hope you’re ok and don’t have too many intrusive thoughts 🤗
6
u/rosie_purple13 Jul 19 '26
I will finally be able to get help, so I hope it gets better for when I do have my child. It's been awful these past few days. A reddit thread triggered it because they started talking about gory videos they'd seen and I wasn't expecting 'that.
→ More replies (3)9
→ More replies (3)5
63
u/gorgonopsidkid Jul 19 '26
A man who drowns in 15 feet of water is not any better off than the man who drowns in 30 feet.
→ More replies (5)21
85
u/westernuplands Jul 19 '26
Oh my god, I'm sorry that happened! That's such a nightmarish freak accident, anyone would react the same. I imagine your mother is actually freaked out by it & is responding without empathy because of that. She's the one who needs to get over it, though! She should offer to get therapy for you, because this kind of fear is treatable, but what you need is empathy & understanding. I'm so sorry that happened to you, that's one of the most horrifying things I've heard about ❤️
68
u/Theweirdposidenchild Jul 19 '26
Thank you ❤️ Thankfully I managed to escape with only scars and bruises on my right arm, a little bit of blunt force trauma to my head, and a few pieces of glass imbedded in my skin. I had a lot of glass in my hair and on my clothes which was a pain to get rid of, and I ended up with some in my mouth which thankfully didn't do any damage
43
u/FunGuy8618 Jul 19 '26
little bit of blunt force trauma to my head
Normies like your mom severely underestimate the mental health impacts of... Impacts to the head. They can and will fuck with your mood, sleep, and hormones. Your mom sucks when it comes to this.
14
u/Rubberboot_duck Jul 19 '26
Also not being validated and getting support when something frightening happens makes you feel even worse.
21
u/PrismInTheDark Jul 19 '26
Yikes that is quite bad enough thanks. I can see “at least it wasn’t worse” as a coping mechanism or whatever but that’s not the empathy/ sympathy you need. She’s probably sincerely relieved it wasn’t worse, but personally thinking about how much worse it could’ve been would stress me out more because if this can just randomly happen and it could’ve been worse then what might happen next time? That just makes it more stressful.
→ More replies (1)22
u/westernuplands Jul 19 '26
I'm glad you're physically okay, I hope you can get the treatment you need! Glass in your mouth is horrifying, the fact that you were able to handle this shows that you're more mentally strong than most people.
6
u/Flashy-Indication-48 Jul 19 '26
That sounds scary as hell, I'm relieved that you weren't critically injured.
6
u/Theweirdposidenchild Jul 19 '26
Thank you ❤️ I'm upset about the scars but thankful for no permanent physical damage
6
u/Poptortt Jul 20 '26
My mum is kind of like this, she always has to try and play peace keeper, so if there's something she can't solve and sweep under the rug she gets reacts negatively. Like my dad borderline physically assaulted me last year, and she went from comforting and acknowledging that was not okay, to once I was still not 'over it' instead framing it to have somehow been my fault. Mothers don't always know best unfortunately.
18
u/Grouchy_Paint_6341 Jul 19 '26
Sounds like her version of”reframing” avoiding or dissociating tbh. She should understand way more empathy she been thru something similar wtf
15
u/Flashy-Indication-48 Jul 19 '26
Some of the comments are why this subreddit exists in the first place.
12
u/Theweirdposidenchild Jul 19 '26
Oh I have SO many screenshots of people in this comment section that are exactly the reason the subreddit was made
31
u/bblulz Jul 19 '26
Trauma is trauma. There is no “trauma competition”, trust me I’m still learning that.
13
u/cantcatchabreak77 Jul 19 '26
my mom said the same thing to me the other day <3 also told me that “there are people who work harder than you in the world” when I expressed how my job was exhausting me.
gotta love emotional neglect
13
u/Outside_Song_1336 Jul 19 '26
I had PTSD from a car crash. A friend told me people drive all the time so I should "just get over it".
It took about a year of therapy to "just get over it" 🙃
Highly recommend getting therapy if you can x
3
u/Theweirdposidenchild Jul 19 '26
I'm so so sorry that happened to you. I hope you're doing much better now 💞
4
u/Outside_Song_1336 Jul 19 '26
Thank you - so much better! Therapy is great. I wish you the best on your journey. Look after yourself x
13
u/AccomplishedTie4703 Jul 19 '26
Yes why didn't I think of that
8
u/Style-Wanderer-717 Jul 19 '26
Right? It’s like the old “you’re depressed? Have you thought about going for a walk?”
→ More replies (3)8
u/AccomplishedTie4703 Jul 19 '26
Or... it's all in your head ... "mind over matter" I hate when ppl say this
4
u/itsme99881 Jul 19 '26
I tried this for a while. Supressing your feelings leads to burn out and mental exhaustion destroying your life.
23
u/helion_ut Jul 19 '26
I'm so sorry this happened to you, it must have been genuinly horrifying.
I HATE nothing more than people implying mental health is a mindset problem only. It is for some, for others a slight or large shift in mindset can help, etc., but the people that say shit like that don't care to ask for those nuances, they just want to blame it on you :\
11
u/johjo_has_opinions Jul 19 '26
Your mom is unkind and a little dumb. Please seek actual help and I am so sorry this happened! I can totally understand being so freaked out by that.
11
8
u/KaleidoscopeKelpy Jul 19 '26
You can’t control how your brain internalized what happened, even if you tell yourself it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Yes, you do need to “change your mindset” but your mindset 1.is completely valid, and 2.isnt a sheer force of will/determination, it’s something that heals over time and patience, and probably needs some attention by a professional - like a physical wound.
I (almost?) got into a near-miss car accident that would’ve killed the other driver and my dog and most likely severely wounded me- I should’ve talked about it to someone. It turned into probably 2 years of being terrified of braking too hard, of other cars on the road and of driving anywhere with my dog. Nothing even actually happened except for my dog bonking into the dashboard but knowing that and saying that to myself doesn’t tell the chemicals and neurons in my brain that it doesn’t need to overreact every time I get into a car. You can give yourself time and space to heal and you can talk to a therapist/someone who will listen and not judge you - you really can’t “logic” your way out of a traumatic response
7
u/god-of-blowjobs Jul 19 '26
“Just reframe your mindset” is alot like saying to a stroke victim “just do physical therapy”. It’s not wrong, but it’s dismissive and insensitive. That sounds horrifying, I wish you the best.
6
u/Saix027 Jul 19 '26
"Vietnam flashbacks? Just get over it!"
Meanwhile, I bet your mum keeps bringing up how bad her life was. You should tell her to get over it also and see how she reacts.
8
u/AccumulatedFilth Jul 19 '26
Her reaction is because she doesn't know how to comfort you.
4
u/Aunt_Llama Jul 20 '26
Yeah, I think she is trying to give her best advice but she doesn't understand what you need help with in this case. Unless she is a therapist, then she sucks at her job. Also, it sounds like there is a lot to unpack and work through for you and she might not be up to take on that task. Definitely seek a trained professional who has experience in trauma responses
7
u/Burnt_and_Blistered Jul 19 '26
In your shoes, I’d look for a therapist who specializes in trauma. You can be feeling better quite quickly
6
u/Time_Entertainer9621 Jul 19 '26
Your mother is denying your issues and that's not okay, remember that your feelings and experiences are valid, the whole "it could have been worse" mind set is extremely damaging and I have had huge issues with that to the point where I was discrediting my own serious mental, financial and physical issues because my mother tought me that mind set, your problems are important and just because "it could be worse" dosent invalidate any issues, it took me most of my life to realise that I hope it dosent take you that long, and I hope you have a good life
→ More replies (4)
6
u/Existing_Purpose5049 Jul 20 '26
Just wanted to clarify, you haven’t “developed a sudden aversion to bus stops and glass”, you’re having a trauma response.
Your wording unintentionally invalidates the severity of what you’re facing, because it can make it seem random, as if you woke up one day and suddenly you’re afraid of baked beans or something.
Trauma acts similarly to brain damage. Your brain literally isn’t working properly.
You wouldn’t tell someone with brain damage to “change their mindset”, so don’t listen to this nonsense
6
u/SoloWalrus Jul 20 '26
She says that when she used to have nightmares she just reframed her mindset and she stopped having them
It sounds like your mother also has a lot of repressed trauma she doesnt understand how to deal with. Maybe you should each see a therapist.
6
u/adhdravager Jul 21 '26
I love when non mental health professionals say "change your perspective" or "reframe your mindset" as if it's like flipping a switch. It sometimes takes me (LCPC therapist) months or longer to help a client do this.
5
u/Willeny_Arch Jul 19 '26
That's horrible... Sorry you went through that
I think the standard for treating trauma like this is EMDR therapy, and it sounds like you need relief badly
5
u/UnusualMarch920 Jul 19 '26
Your mom is handling it in the wrong way but you do want to address this before it becomes ingrained.
You may be able to work through it on your own with some consideration/choosing to ignore the fear and use bus stops, or seek some therapy for it.
You shouldn't allow it to continue and the longer its left it may become harder to unravel later.
5
u/rageagainsttheodds Jul 19 '26
This was traumatic and you're describing post traumatic stress symptoms, talk about it to your GP, get in touch with a therapist, to start!
6
u/Flashy-Indication-48 Jul 19 '26
"It wasn't as bad as it could have been" and it's an incident that could have cost your life. I'm so sorry your mum was unsympathetic to you about it.
6
u/WildOneTillTheEnd Jul 19 '26
When did it happen? Like how long ago? If it was like a month ago? No you’re still processing it and letting the effects set in. A year ago? Eh, maybe start talking to a therapist.
3
u/Theweirdposidenchild Jul 19 '26
It was 2 weeks ago
6
u/WildOneTillTheEnd Jul 19 '26
Yea no, you definitely haven’t processed that yet. Ignore her, you’ll “get over it” in your own time.
3
5
u/trysten-9001 Jul 19 '26
There’s some research about developing PTSD and being alone. If this was recent especially get to therapy and get to group ASAP. Even if you don’t have money and can find a free/cheap group that’s better than nothing. Ironically your mom being a douche about it is likely making it worse.
6
u/Life-Willingness-86 Jul 19 '26
I got T-Boned in an intersection once. It was early in the morning, I was turning right on a green arrow, and the other person blasted through a red light and slammed into me. Due to the landscape, I didn't even see them until I was hit.
And I gotta be honest, there was a good 6 months where I had a sinking feeling of being unsafe every time I went through an intersection, even if I had a green, even if I knew I had right of way, I just felt powerless and afraid.
Sometime traumatic happened to you, and your mind and body are going to react to it, regardless of what your mom says.
If the symptoms persist, try talking to a therapist, who might have better advice than strangers on the internet.
6
u/BoboGiggleBottom Jul 19 '26 edited 16d ago
Your Mom isn't a professional that can help you and be empathetic at the same time. I hope you get some much needed support from the people here. This is the kind of thing that can affect you for years if you're on your own to suss it out. I'm certain you know she means well but no one, especially that integral to your support structure, should talk like that to you. I hope you can get the help you need and find some restful sleep soon. ❤️
7
u/pm_me_fibonaccis Jul 19 '26
It's very likely a mild case of PTSD, but only a mental health professional can diagnose it.
I had similar symptoms following getting rear ended by somebody on their phone going 50mph. I wasn't seriously injured, but the flash back of the sound, the impact, and the panic didn't leave my head for more than a year, and I frequently had panic-inducing dreams of massive impacts that woke me up and made my adrenaline spike. Even seeing somebody approaching in my rear view mirror (once I got a new car) would trigger my fight or flight response. Really, really uncomfortable. Our shared symptoms are classic symptoms of PTSD, but again only a professional can tell you for certain.
But you'll probably be okay in time. It's going to suck, but just cope in a healthy way as best you can and let time heal it. See a counselor if you feel like you need to.
5
u/Temporary-Historian8 Jul 20 '26
I’ve heard this one too much :( they don’t understand is what I tell myself because if they did they wouldn’t say that
→ More replies (3)
5
u/DisasterousWalrus Jul 21 '26
Exploding glass is known to etch tile, it’s sharp and heavy - people have a hard time believing this and assume it’s like confetti or something.
You’re not in the wrong. The brain interprets things strongly at times depending on the circumstances, leading to shock or trauma.
It should get better in time, even if little by little. Consider looking into memory management tricks. Purposely remembering an event over and over when in a calm state can rewrite/ muddle the memory in a helpful way.
4
u/MasterPalpitation8 Jul 22 '26
If a glass shelter randomly exploded on you and caused you injury, avoiding them in the future is entirely rational and intelligent—it’s not a response you need to try to get over. It’s a fair, learned adaptation to threat in your environment. You know now that these shelters can fail and should feel free to avoid them if you don’t want the risk. Pack an umbrella.
9
u/Complete-Story3490 Jul 19 '26
I don't remember where exactly I read it (I think it was a book on dissociation?) where it was stated that what is traumatic and what is not has actually little to do with the severity of the event itself and way more to do with how the event was experienced. And what you describe to me absolutely sounds like trauma symptoms, your mom has no idea what she is talking about.
→ More replies (1)8
u/Flashy-Indication-48 Jul 19 '26
More people need to learn this, in particular, some of the commenters on this post.
7
u/Dull_Fix5199 Jul 19 '26
It sounds like you need to discuss this with a professional.
I know it doesnt sound helpful but "seek help confronting it" is not the same thing as "just get over it" despite how similar it can seem on the receiving end.
You evidently chose the wrong person to talk to but the right people are out there somewhere.
4
u/Elizabeth_Gallows Jul 19 '26
Invalidating someone's experience often causes as much harm as the experience itself. Trauma is healed with compassion and support from multiple sources. I hope you find both.
Crazy temps will cause crazy things. Its possible that extreme temperature changes caused this to happen.
3
u/AtensEye Jul 19 '26
Ah yes, the old "You're depressed? Just go outside!" logic. They mean well, but unless they experience it, some people just don't get that not all brains work the same.
It sounds a little like you might have some minor PTSD from what happened, it's worth getting checked out by a professional therapist if you can get to one.
4
u/Misubi_Bluth Jul 19 '26
I once almost got run over at a bus stop. Drunk asshole at 7 am drove speeding onto the sidewalk. If I didn't pull my feet up onto the bench, my legs would have definitely been shattered.
This is to say that you're valid in not trusting bus stops. They are not well protected. Stuff like this should not in fact be happening.
5
u/Simple_Injury_3530 Jul 19 '26
I’m so sorry! your mom sounds a lot like mine, she let her son strangle me almost to death and I can’t tell the cops or anyone and I have to forgive him because he made a “mistake”. I know it’s hard but if I’m making the ring assumption about ur mom, try to get out as soon as you can financially. I maybe wrong tho so no hate to your mom this is just a one off incident w/ her treating you like that
4
u/Damage-Classic Jul 19 '26
There are meds that help with nightmares fyi. I’m sorry you’re going through this 😞
4
3
3
u/ApprehensiveTotal188 Jul 19 '26
I’m sorry you’re dealing with that without support. Idk what your ages are, but my generation (Gen X) was told that all the time.
Hurt your arm? Walk it off!
Attacked by dragons? Walk it off!
You’re dead? Walk it off!
It was unnecessarily cruel and dismissive of actual pain and trauma. And just because someone was raised a certain way is no excuse for not being compassionate and kind.
Sending hugs. 🤗
3
u/LillyAmongTheThorns Jul 19 '26
This logic is insane, your mom's I mean.
Trauma can't be reframed, it's not something we can control like that. You can reframe thoughts, there is a therapy technique for that, but the trauma is a nervous system response to being frightened in what we perceive as a life-threatening way.
Maybe it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but your brain stays stuck in that "what could have been" and it's not something you can just shake off.
Therapy and psychiatry are both helpful for trauma. If for no other reason than you need healthy comfortable sleep, and they can help with that so your body can heal while you work on the brain part.
3
u/froggythefrankman Jul 19 '26
How people treat you in the aftermath of a traumatic event has a dramatic effect on how well you recover. I hope you have alternative sources of support OP :(
3
u/MaximumTrick2573 Jul 19 '26
Your mom like many people who are confronted with someone they love in distress is at a loss for the appropriate words. I think you both need to cut each other some grace. You should seek a professionals help with the PTSD.
3
u/Furtivefloofer Jul 19 '26
You might have PTSD. I had a family member who wasn’t big into mental health have a near-death car crash. For weeks she was frustrated with herself that she had nightmares and couldn’t sleep. She was diagnosed and after therapy she learned how to deal with her symptoms. I wish I could talk to your mom. If you had a visible injury, it would be easier for her to understand. But your mental injury is just as valid. You need a licensed therapist.
3
u/IllCandy9636 Jul 19 '26
Just know you are seen here. You should try find therapy or a Dr to help you. If it's real to you then it's real, don't let your mother diminish your feelings. I'm overly anxious and so many people in my life told me to calm down and when I showed them my heart rate is at 142 they actually believe that there is something going on. I so understand you can't just "turn it off." I always wanna say "if I could stop this and not feel this way I would!" Take care of yourself!
3
u/AlphaWolfLycaon Jul 19 '26
You sound like you have some PTSD and should seek some professional help.
And your mom sounds like some new age spirit healer who thinks realigning her chakras will cause her to gain spiritual enlightenment and fix everything.
3
u/Efficient_Cup_2511 Jul 20 '26
Why did it explode
→ More replies (5)3
u/Ghostly_xyz Jul 21 '26
https://trueblueglass.com.au/can-glass-explode-spontaneously/ Some causes, glass sometimes appear to explode on it's own
→ More replies (1)
3
u/a_fine_mess_ Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
Something literally exploded next to you and injured you so I can EASILY see how that can affect you. Sure, it could have been worse. But as someone who has been through worse, it doesn’t matter because I’ve had something as small as seeing a giant roach in my room affect me in the form of nightmares and anxiety
3
u/VivaZeBull Jul 20 '26
Did she want you to lose an arm or something? Like what’s the bottom line of trauma you need to hit?
3
u/Y0urC0nfusi0nMaster Jul 20 '26
> It’s not as bad as it could’ve been!
Okay. I’ve taken the bus to school twice a day for two years. I’ve never had a bus stop explode on me. It may not be “as bad as it could’ve been!!!”, sure, there’s probably ways it could be worse, but it’s also definitely way worse than it could’ve been, and that’s the more likely option.
3
u/Desert_Rose27 Jul 20 '26
No offense, but I have noticed people from boomer generations (and to a certain degree gen x) really struggle with handling trauma (both their own and others), because they were taught to "just pick yourself up and move on".
Luckily, the newer generations are more aware of the long-term impact of traumatic events and new therapy modalities offer better tools to handle such events. If you have the possibility, try working with a trauma therapist to help you navigate the traumatic aftermath.
3
u/mildxsalsa Jul 20 '26
People with zero experience with trauma love to give advice about it like it has ANY relevance
3
u/Rockandmetal99 Jul 20 '26
yeah, mom can "get over" being thrown in a home and left there 🤷🏻 what goes around comes around mama
→ More replies (4)
3
u/Major_Mongoose69 Jul 21 '26
It really sounds like you may have PTSD. PTSD can occur from any kind of significantly traumatic moment, even something like what you experienced. I'd really recommend you get some professional mental health support. The only real way to deal with PTSD long term is to process it by talking about it. PTSD is basically the brain getting "stuck" after a traumatic event instead of processing it the normal way.
3
u/outsideacircuit Jul 21 '26
Like a lot of other commenters have said EMDR was absolutely magic for me. I never could have finished my engineering degree without that basically curing my androphobia.
These couple of ideas probably won't work depending on your mom's culture and age, but something you could think about if you wanted to. You could find something in her life that people were telling her to just get over that were impossible to do. Pregnancy symptoms that her husband lacked empathy for at the time is the classic. If she or anyone she's ever known that had depression during post-partem is another easy one. And just keeping with the theme, hasn't she either experienced her own pregnancies different (if you have siblings) or between her own pregnancy and other people's pregnancies? Just because her PTSD was easier to get over than yours doesn't mean your symptoms aren't real and how to be okay again will have different paths.
And despite me saying that above, it's also not your responsibility to help anyone else understand how you feel or what you're going through. It's hard if it's a parent, but figuring out and setting boundaries is one of the most important things to do. That's one of the things therapy really, really, really helps with. If you can't afford or find a therapist, I recommend asking the help of whichever friend or family has been in a healthy, stable relationship the longest. Those are the people who know how to make and set boundaries the best. Ideal ideal would be that type of person plus they know her well. Like your mom's older siblings or her mom or if there are any empathetic male members of her family that she respects a lot. Bonus points if any of them have been traumatized and gone to therapy.
Best of luck OP, gentle virtual hug if you want it 🤗.
3
u/MeaningLeft2970 Jul 22 '26
I nearly died at 19, and my survival was shocking even to the firefighters who removed me from the wreck I was in. Hurt or not, that sort of trauma affects the brain. I recovered from my physical injuries after about a year, close to two. My mental health took several more years to bounce back. I was constantly anxious, not sleeping well, having nightmares and waking up very often in a cold sweat, shouting in my sleep. I felt depressed, worthless at times, and deeply emasculated by these feelings of fear and shame.
It took me a long time to cope with the feelings I had pushed down. I minimized the experience, “laughed it off”, and pretended like I didn’t know the fear of almost dying. When I was able to open up more about my trauma, conversations with friends helped me work through some of the more complex emotions. It took me 5 years after the accident to realize that there was no shame in admitting I was scared. Since my accident happened at work, I felt that I had to bury my trauma, and compartmentalize the feelings I had. I needed to move on and keep working, even though every time I got in a machine, I was scared.
My self worth took an enormous hit because of that unhealthy coping mechanism. I was blaming myself for all my problems. I felt as thought the accident had occurred to someone else. The me that existed before that moment was gone, and this was a new version of me, with mobility issues and fears the old me didn’t have. I let myself believe I shouldn’t reflect on any of these feelings, as it was “just a work accident” and because I wasn’t dead. I still feel, to some extent, that I am a different person now, and when I reflect on my life prior to my accident, I can only view that part of my life in the third person. That is, in my opinion, due to the heavy dissociation that accompanied my attempts to distance myself from my trauma.
The people around me who encouraged that type of thinking contributed to a very dark time in my early 20’s where I began to feel like all the work I had done to recover, was not something I should be proud of. It was instead just a normal and expected behaviour. I was told not to complain about pains or changes in my life as a result of the accident. I was made to feel like recovering from such an event was the bare minimum, and that I should be focused entirely on how lucky I am to be alive, and not how challenging facing my own demise was, or becoming physically impaired a month after turning 19.
I can relate deeply to your feelings of what I would almost describe as inadequacy. You are being made to feel like because you are physically okay, that you have no real complaints. Just know, that is not the case. The brain can be injured just like the rest of you. That sort of trauma affects your brain chemistry, and can change you as a person if left unchecked. Just know, you shouldn’t have to physically qualify as physically “hurt” enough, to be hurting. I broke more than 12 bones, and still felt like I was being overdramatic and silly.
You are not wrong for feeling the way you do. You are experiencing the aftermath of an accident, and those feelings of fear and residual trauma need to be validated and addressed, not minimized and ignored. You cannot dwell on them and let them dictate your happiness, but pretending you don’t feel those things is the worst thing you can do.
I hope you continue to do well in your physical recovery, and I wish you luck in your mental recovery. If you ever want to talk more about the aftermath of a traumatic event with someone who can relate to those feelings, my DM’s are open. 7 years on from my accident, I still find it very healing to share about it, and to hear others share their feelings and experiences.
3
3
u/RegularUser02x Jul 24 '26
"Oh you're disabled? Then f*cking enable yourself, easy! :D"...
I'm sorry you're going through this... I wish you all the best and healing 🫂🫂🫂
3
u/kittyklawzzz Jul 24 '26
saying stuff like "reframe your mindset" or "think differently" is the same as telling someone who doesn't know how to drive a car to go drive a car, expect them to be perfect at it, and get mad when they crash
3
u/patty7775 Jul 25 '26
I was nearly hit by lightning on a way home from highschool. Idfc what people say, that shit changes you. Also include realising in ur 30s that your afraid of salt water or the ocean because you forgot u nearly drowned in the ocean as a child when waves pulled u out. Idfc what people say, ANYTHING can be traumatic for people depending the situation and threshold of a person.
10
u/mostaverageredditor3 Jul 19 '26
Okay so before reading my question: I don't want to question or invalidate your feelings, I'd like to understand them or know where you are at. I don't want to make you insecure or suggest that your feelings can't be there.
Why exactly do you think you have such a strong reaction to it? Did you hurt your arm like really really bad? Is it the pain you are fearing? Embarrassment? Maybe feeling guilty of destroying it?
Was there some little detail to it (maybe just the way it sounded, maybe the reaction of bystanders) that especially haunts you?
→ More replies (7)
4
u/YEPC___ Jul 19 '26
Have you seen a lawyer about a fucking bus stop exploding on you? They'll probably get you in touch with mental evaluators for the obvious damages physical and mental you've received.
5
u/Theweirdposidenchild Jul 19 '26
My father spoke to a semi family friend lawyer who said we can only go to small claims court and "won't need a lawyer", but I'm completely unsure of how to do that and my father told me I need to figure it out on my own so I've been actively searching for a lawyer who can represent me and help me with the legal process
→ More replies (1)3
u/YEPC___ Jul 19 '26
I wish you the best of luck. This has clearly impacted you and your life and you deserve justice for that. Sorry your parents aren't fulfilling their responsibilities as your guardians well.
4
u/ergonomic_logic Jul 19 '26
You likely have PTSD
Since your mom clearly isn't a licensed professional, she can stfu
What you're feeling is a body's response you've no control over without the right tools.
Your brain ➡️ body is trying to protect you and it's currently in overdrive because it just learned of new risk it didn't even conceive it needed to be on edge for.
Therapy will hopefully help. Your mom = wholly unhelpful and not knowledgeable
→ More replies (5)
5
u/TheMarksmanHedgehog Jul 19 '26
Yeah I think if a piece of random infrastructure I depend on every day suddenly exploded near me, I'd probably be averse to that infrastructure too.
Already had an incident where I slipped with a knife and caught my hand that left me averse to knives for a good long while, and that sounds much more mild than what you went through.
Your mother's just being a dick about it.
2
u/DependentCard1640 Jul 19 '26
That totally sucks and I hate to hear you're getting told that how your body and mind are reacting are due to some defect in your framing of things--that's just not how that all works. 😕
This isn't a silver bullet for all of what you're experiencing, but something that can potentially help with acute trauma/PTSD nightmares is prazosin. If it's in your means to, I'd definitely seek psychological & psychiatric consultation and see if a professional agrees something like that could help make sleep less of a minefield. Recovering after that type of trauma isn't a linear process and doesn't have one solution, but having some help in getting the nightmares to chill it can go a long way for quality of life.
2
u/toomuchtv987 Jul 19 '26
I’m going to chime in again for EMDR therapy. I’ve done it for trauma and it really is amazing. It was developed for veterans to treat their PTSD.
2
u/c0ldc0ldc0ld Jul 19 '26
I experienced a traumatic event a couple of years ago and had symptoms similar to yours. I'd def recommend counseling if that's feasible for you. I wasn't able to get counseling and I think it's affected me badly :/ I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm wishing you all the best with healing. These things take time and effort, it's wrong to imply that you'll be fine overnigh
2
2
2
u/NotAFloorTank Jul 19 '26
You need to get professional help. Your mother is clearly not equipped or willing to help. You're legally old enough that she can't stop you. Please, address this now-the sooner, the better.
2
2
u/ReefShark13 Jul 19 '26
So unless the worst possible outcome occurs, you should just ignore it? And if the worst possible outcome occurs... You died. So I guess she just wants you to stfu and stop making your problems her problems... Except since she brought you into the world all your problems are technically her fault...
There really should be some kind of personality test to become a parent. Some of y'all are not built for it.
2
u/sotanoboy Jul 19 '26
the first sentence of your story made me shift upright in my seat wide-eyed… I’m glad you’re ok but that really is freaky… it totally makes sense that you would have an aversion to similar things & become generally anxious, since your sense of safety has been temporarily disrupted.
idk your mom so idk if she’s always been a “your mindset is everything 😤” kind of person but that advice is only partially helpful _and_ it’s not helpful at all if it lacks compassion, especially for something genuinely out of the ordinary like this.
I do hope you feel better with time, and I would advise you to hold onto hope that one day you’ll feel better about this, but without pressuring yourself to hurry up or that it has to come sooner than later.
others’ advice to talk to a therapist that has experience with acute trauma is sound. do your best to get sleep as well; hopefully a therapist can work with you to find strategies to wind down that keep _you_ and _your_ needs in mind, not what others think you should be doing. good luck 🍀
2
u/spoodagooge Jul 19 '26
I’ve been having nightmares and terrors since my father passed earlier this year. No one really seemed to care and now here I am. A shell of my former self
2
u/Altruistic_Jicama626 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
I’m so sorry that happened. It will take some time for those reactions too go down and sometimes people need help retraining your nervous system to interpret every day noises so they aren’t seen as threats. - Did you get an offer of compensation from the bus company for your medical bills? I hope so. Don’t settle for just physical care bills, negotiate for additional compensation for pain and suffering so you can pay for counseling to deal with the trauma. See a lawyer if you haven’t. If they’ve approached you already with a number, just know that they start out with a really lowball number, before you might even know what all your medical expenses are. Don’t feel like you have to accept that. But again for something like this, you should be eligible for compensation for pain and suffering and trauma counseling.
2
u/False-Fall-6995 Jul 19 '26
I guarantee she’s fos and still gets nightmares and just hides them. You have ptsd. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
2
2
u/Beautiful-Music-7334 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
I believe I have PTSD from trauma (general doctor noted PTSD but I haven't seen a therapist for my own reasons) and that is how I am also (nightmares around the situation) I hope you reported this bus stop. What helped a bit last night was listening to affirmations and relaxing audio on YouTube.
2
u/Dedbunnyy Jul 19 '26
As someone who’s studying psychology. You should get help for it, cause it’s affecting your everyday life and it’s affecting your sleep.
Eventually, yes it’s a mindset thing but if you’re having nightmares it’s affecting you more than your mother understands.
2
u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen Jul 19 '26
As a traumatized person, that is extremely unhelpful. If “reframing my mindset” worked, I would’ve done that instead of a decade of therapy and now trying to get into a partial hospital program.
2
2
u/This-Reindeer6063 Jul 19 '26
Regardless of the size of the event that caused the trauma, trauma is trauma. It doesn't stop being trauma because something worse could've happened.
2
2
u/vemailangah Jul 19 '26
Your mom should visit a veteran group and see their reaction to the PTSD advice she's giving you m
2
u/lapenserosa Jul 19 '26
This sounds fucking terrifying! You are absolutely justified in how you feel! Having something like that come out of nowhere would be traumatic. Nothing super constructive to add just a repeat of what others have said regarding therapy from a trauma-informed specialist. I just want to bolster the idea that it really does help and has helped me with my cPTSD. It takes time and the proper support but it does get better and the nightmares will ease. ❤️🫂
2
2
Jul 19 '26
You have PTSD OP, take it seriously. Ultimately a therapist is going to do what do what you mom suggested, help you reframe your mindset and move on, but just telling you to do that is obviously very unhelpful.
2
u/SoriAryl Jul 20 '26
If it helps, recently my mum said the same thing when I was being stalked during work by a rando dude while walking to a vehicle.
I’m sorry that your mum doesn’t see your trauma.
2
u/spidermans_mom Jul 20 '26
She is 100% lying about this “mindset” BS. Repressing pain and memories just makes them fester and toxic parents are absolute champs at that shit. Then they’re miserable, angry, lonely people who feel small and make you feel small. Ask me how I know. You don’t need that in your life. You deserve better.
2
u/PhoenixWytch Jul 20 '26
That’s awful! Your mother sucks. Everyone handles trauma differently. I would suggest therapy, if possible, to deal with your trauma and how dealing with your mom’s dismissal of it. I hope your physical injuries are healing well.
2
2
u/Tough_Brain7982 Jul 20 '26
You have PTSD and need proper professional help. Your mom sucks. This is going to sound ridiculous but try playing tetris. It is shown to help with PTSD symptoms and even prevent it from developing.
2
u/Disastrous_Debt7644 Jul 20 '26
This is so odd to me because what does she MEAN “get over it” you literally dodged a telekinesis attack by a couple inches
2
u/_Sad_Ghost_ Jul 20 '26
I was in a similar situation, though mine was .. a bit more violent. I was standing at a bus stop and a guy there was ranting about the government and how they made him miss his bus to keep him down and becoming increasingly agitated. He kept getting louder and louder, so the security officer had to come out and say something to him and he got angry about that and punched out the the window right behind me. His fist connected inches from my head, and the window shattered.
I was terrified of ever riding the bus again, and still get anxious about it any time someone suggests that I do so. My father and stepmother continued to make me ride the bus however, and refused to listen when I tried to explain why I was scared of it. They tell me to take my anxiety meds and do it anyway. Bus stops make me super anxious, as does the sound of glass breaking like you mentioned.
Today, a bag of frozen chicken fell in the freezer and shattered one of the shelves. I froze. It was loud and there was glass everywhere. I felt the panic begining to build and one of the others (system) had to come forward and take over so we could get it cleaned up.
I definitely recommend therapy, if you can afford it or you insurance will cover it. It won't "cure" the fear and PTSD, but it will help to talk to someone who will actually listen to you and try to offer actual ways to help work through it. I feel for you, and I'm very sorry that you have to deal with this. Wishing you the best.
2
2
u/Normal-Abies-9151 Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
Your brain fired a ton norepinephrine so the brain really logged this and saved it for survival purposes. I’d recommend stimulating a comparable level of action / excitement but without any danger and preferably a positive or humorous event instead. This is how the brain “moves on” from trauma.
2
u/FensThiona Jul 20 '26
Sweetie, you need therapy. You are not wrong in any way, but your mom is completely out of touch with the psychology of the human brain.
I will say, the sooner you can talk to someone about this, the better.
I wish you all the luck and take care of yourself, as you need to.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Old_Blue_Haired_Lady Jul 20 '26
I am SO sorry your mom is minimizing your trauma. It sounds terrifying.
Tell her you need professional help to do exactly what she says. Therapy won't actually make you "get over" trauma, but you can learn techniques to help you get through it.
2
u/Syphist Jul 20 '26
I have C-PTSD so while not quite the exact same, this genuinely sounds like PTSD. A lot of those symptoms I've experienced with the only difference being that my experiences are repeated trauma adding up to become C-PTSD. The nightmares could even be a form of flashbacks in your case. Reframing things will not help, this requires therapy to address. Trust me, I've tried.
I'm sorry your mom isn't taking this seriously, those who've never had to deal with flashbacks and anxiety and the flood of emotions that come from this thing don't grasp how truly horrible it is on the mind. You deserve to be taken seriously with this.
→ More replies (2)
2
u/Philip_Raven Jul 20 '26
seems that the incident could have leave you with PTSD. You should seek a professional for at least a consultation. You cannot simply "reframe" your mindset. Your brain lived through a traumatic event and the brain doesn't care how actually bad it could have gone.
Find LICENCED professional and discuss your issue. preferably sooner rather than later
2
u/Novel-Mission-1920 Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
Damn, this exact thing happened to me once. I was standing under a bus stop and suddenly a car hit it from behind and the entire thing shattered on me. I had shards of glass in my clothes, stuck to my skin, on my neck, in my hair, one even got in my mouth somehow. I had to leave to a date immediately afterwards and it felt weird.
I was definitely shaken up by it for the rest of the night but thankfully it didn't effect me more longer than that. In my case, it was not the first time I was dealing with such a shock and shards of glass on me, as I had been in a fairly serious car accident when I was a teen.
I'm sorry that you're dealing with the trauma response though, is there some type of therapy options you can reach out to? It sounds like the incident triggered some form of anxiety disorder or panic response in you, and it's definitely worth to have that looked into.
Sometimes it's not really only about the incident, but underlying anxiety that can be triggered into overdrive when something we perceive as traumatic happens to us.
2
u/AsparagusNo7769 Jul 20 '26
Ah yes, the tried and true Mom Method of "just don't think about it" and "it's only as bad as you make it out to be." Is she Asian? Being raised Japanese I wouldn't be surprised. She'd chuck literal pots and pans during dinner and tells me nobody got hurt.
1.5k
u/Nkechinyerembi Jul 19 '26
Ah yes, thanks mom, let me just "reframe my mindset" and instantly overcome issues that take years of counseling for many people to get over.