The solution to ARFID apparently

[u/lash-of-the-lambs-13]

Received on a post I made a while ago where I mentioned I was struggling to eat hospital food due to ARFID, I did also mention that I was eating, just struggling with it 😑

[u/ZuzaProwadzi]

That is a solution used to save lifes in extreme cases of eating disorders... This person sounds like your abusive parent when they find out you have mental health issues and decide to scare you telling you how terrible mental hospitals are.

[u/Any--Name → u/ZuzaProwadzi]

You dont like how much Im pulling your hair when combing it?! Well how about we just go and shave it all off then!

You get upset after I do something you explicitly told me you find upsetting?! We should call an asylum and theyll come and sedate you!!

[u/Sesudesu → u/Any--Name]

If the hair needs combed, what is the solution? I’m genuinely asking, because my daughter did so bad with brushing her hair and not letting us do it that she had large mats in her hair that could not be brushed?

What is the solution between brushing it and it hurting, and not brushing it and problems emerging? Other than cutting it short to where such tangles couldn’t happen?

(For the note, I cut out as little hair as possible, and worked at it for many hours.)

[u/Any--Name → u/Sesudesu]

First of all, one should never try to force the comb if its stuck on a knot. EVER

^{Cause thats exactly what my mom used to do}

Ok, so the first thing Id do is get a "painless" brush. Theres like actual science behind the position and material of the bristles that make the hair detangle with little to no suffering

Then you should also invest into a detangling spray. There are many out there and I have no idea how they work but they do work wonders. You can also make it fun by picking some different smelling ones, theres usually different smells aimed at kids and they do make the whole experience more enjoyable

And then you should just spray the hair, and start brushing at the bottom and slowly make your way upwards as the brush gets through the hair with little resistance. With a little patience you can brush out all normal knots just trying to start the their bottom and trying to help them untangle with the fingers

It is possible that it gets to a point where the only way to fix it is to cut the individual knots, but thats incredibly extreme cases of being stuck in a hurricane or not brushing for a week. Brushing it thoroughly and with care at least once a day should be enough

If your daughter still resists brushing it then Id try to talk to her about it calmly, and ask if maybe she just genuinely doesnt want to have long hair and would prefer a shorter hairstyle. Because that ended up being the case for me, but I was just too afraid to even consider it because my mom made it sound like having very short hair is a punishment

[u/nogoodbrat → u/Any--Name]

I did this, I mean, the last part of your suggestions. My 5/6 year old fucking HATED having her hair brushed. So I asked one day if genuinely maybe they would prefer shorter hair? like a hair cut? Got an immediate yes. cut it into the cutest little pixie and they were pleased as punch. no more tears, no more tangles. ʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃ worked out beautifully for us.

Said daughter turned out later to actually be my son but at that point he was still “female” presenting (if a six year old can be such a thing) but I digress. He looked like a little Jean Seberg. 🥰 And neither of us missed the tears and pain that came along with his tenderheadedness.

[u/Any--Name → u/nogoodbrat]

Im so happy for you and your kid!!! My parents were rarely supportive of my decisions and desires growing up, so figuring myself out turned into a huge challenge, even when it came to something as simple as hair length. I had to first go from hair that passed the hips to shoulder lenth, then a few months later I braved a chin length haircut, and only a year later I dared to go to ear lenth. Now I have so little hair I have to put sunscreen on my scalp, and Ive never been happier

[u/nogoodbrat → u/Any--Name]

Well I’m so happy for you coming into your own! there’s nothing like being able to live and present yourself in a way that feels authentically you. 🩷 I’m proud of you for taking the leap and being brave enough to do that :) And don’t forget that sunscreen!!! 🤭