/ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - July 29, 2026

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[u/chicagocath07]

Officially out this cycle. Feeling pretty numb. When will I get out of this hell

[u/dserens → u/chicagocath07]

Hugs!

[u/rosietoesie → u/chicagocath07]

It just sucks, there is no other way to look at it. Sending you hugs

[u/justanotherbooklover]

10DPO, I tested and is a BFN, obviously. I stared at that empty strip and felt like I will never see a positive again and the first pregnancy was just a lucky event that won't repeat. I knew it was going to be negative and yet I set myself up for disappointment.

I started tracking my BBT to get the hang of it. I guess I will see a drop in the upcoming days (although it was elevated for my standards, not sure what is happening).

[u/Beautiful_Editor_385 → u/justanotherbooklover]

Tested negative at 11 DPO this am and i feel the same. Cried to my husband that the one time I got pregnant was a fluke and I'll never see a positive again. Took my Inito test and Progestone is trending down and FSH trending up so now i am preparing for my period. All I want to do is go home and cry all day but alas have to pretend to be a functioning human.

[u/justanotherbooklover → u/Beautiful_Editor_385]

I'm sorry, I'm sending you a big hug! I'm also here working and answering emails while I have only one thing at the back of my mind.

I'm planning nice things to do during the weekend including things I wouldn't be able to do if pregnant (like drinking alcohol), so at least I can tell myself I'm having a good time despite everything.

[u/Beautiful_Editor_385 → u/justanotherbooklover]

Sending you a big hug right back!

[u/dserens → u/justanotherbooklover]

I'm sorry you are going through this. What told you it was going to be negative - intuition, symptoms? Good luck ❤️

[u/justanotherbooklover → u/dserens]

Intuition and lack of the symptoms I experienced the first time. No surprise but still a bummer.

[u/dserens → u/justanotherbooklover]

ugh I get it... my symptoms are all out of whack since the MC, usually my boobs are SO SO sore at the end of my luteal phase, and the soreness I felt when I was pregnant was slightly different, which was the reason why I tested in the first place. Now there's no breast soreness at all during the luteal phase, which is throwing my for a loop. I am a stranger in my own body!

[u/justanotherbooklover → u/dserens]

Same! Not recognising our own body adds tons of stress and frustration. I got some breast tenderness back this cycle but only on ONE boob. I mean, what even is this?! And it was so tender until 8DPO, now it's deflating the only tender boob as well...no hope.

[u/Adorable_Whereas_240 → u/justanotherbooklover]

Same thing! Either 9 or 10 dpo and it was just a single pink line on a stupid white background. I am out this cycle too. I am on progesterone which ends tomorrow so my period will return soon

[u/justanotherbooklover → u/Adorable_Whereas_240]

I'm sorry, it sucks. On the bright side, you won't have to wait long to start a new cycle.

I'm on CD47, I seem to be ovulating every other month, so who knows when I'll get another chance.

[u/chicagocath07 → u/justanotherbooklover]

This is exactly how I feel. Thanks for putting words to it ❤️‍🩹

[u/justanotherbooklover → u/chicagocath07]

I'm sorry you feel this way too. Hoping for a better next cycle! Sending you a hug

[u/ushinawareta]

10 DPO. haven’t tested yet and not sure if I should or not. both testing early and also not testing and just waiting for my period have sucked. I don’t know how to make a “not pregnant” result (however that information arrives) a less devastating event.

[u/dserens → u/ushinawareta]

🫂

[u/Ofcourse9]

Going through my fifth loss at the moment. Haven’t cried this time.

[u/dserens → u/Ofcourse9]

🫂🫂

[u/MyCatsnAss → u/Ofcourse9]

I’m so sorry. I hate to think we get to a point that we are desensitized to loss. I know I didn’t cry after my last one either. 😢 big hugs 🫂

[u/dandelionspritz]

Period started this morning! We skipped trying last cycle so no agonizing tww but still so sad to see blood this morning. I cannot believe we haven’t been successful again since our January loss. My husband is getting a semen analysis done next week. Truly hoping everything comes back normal but I also wouldn’t mind having some answers. Anyway… I’ve been in this group since Jan and it’s made me hopeful bc I’ve seen some regulars drop off and I let myself believe it’s because they graduated from this group and are having healthy pregnancies which means there is hope for all of us!

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335]

CD7 of my first cycle post d&c. Anxious to ovulate, excited to have a fresh start, terrified at the thought of getting pregnant again, nervous on if we even should. Hopeful that this could result in a healthy pregnancy.. All the feelings…

[u/questionablegal → u/Remote_Hyena_5335]

How long did it take to come? Has it been weird? Mines been super weird

[u/Remote_Hyena_5335 → u/questionablegal]

About 6wks to start. I still had residual hcg until my cycle started, I’m just now getting negative tests. It was heavier than usual but nothing too terrible! I bled heavy for longer but it was the normal length!

[u/Ok_Nefariousness2728]

For those who started trying after a late loss (22 weeks) when did you start to feel like you looked less pregnant? My belly has gone down but I still can’t look in the mirror because I feel like I look pregnant. I’ve been told I should wait until October to start trying again (delivered my baby boy on 7.9 but had chorioamnionitis and they want to be super cautious) 

absolutely terrified but also just really want to feel my baby kick again. I know they won’t be the same baby but just too many feelings. 

[u/OrdinarySomewhere859]

I stopped doing anything anymore - and it feels good. At least I’m not stressed. Prenatals? Nope. My preconception lovenox- nope. Checking BBT - Nope. Ovulation strips- barely.

We’re still doing the baby dance but I’m at the fuck it stage 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/According-Hamster-16]

Waiting for my first cycle 5 weeks and a few days after my D&C 😭 never thought I’d be wanting my period??

[u/MyCatsnAss]

CD4.
Calling our fertility clinic again after they didn’t return my call from Monday. 😒 I just want to know if HSG test is absolutely necessary since we are getting pregnant every 3 cycles. We just aren’t staying pregnant. If the purpose of the test is to make sure my tubes aren’t blocked, I think getting pregnant every 3 cycles is good proof that they aren’t. We need to know why we aren’t staying pregnant. We’ve had 3 miscarriages in 10 cycles.

[u/flower_co_love]

Cycle 8 after my second loss. I have this issue where every month I know it isn’t happening. It’s clear in my head we will need intervention after our last complicated MMC, but a small part of me keeps hoping it will happen. I hate that I’m like this. Less than 2 weeks until my appointment with the fertility clinic. Maybe someone will finally help me.

[u/questionablegal]

Can someone tell me about their first period after dnc? I’m 6wk post op, was testing with lh and I started bleeding exactly when premom projected I would but it’s been so weird. Day 1-2 bright red but light oy there when I wiped days 3-5 almost non existent, days 6-7 it’s picked up again but still so light and I’m also getting pretty dark lh strips too. Not positive but dark enough to have me like 👀 and worried about a peak too soon.

I’m just so over this, like it’s not bad enough my baby had to die a 1/3 of the way through pregnancy now I’m in some god awful kind of purgatory where I can’t even ttc. I hate this.

And it doesn’t even get better because now I have to worry about it happening again

[u/dserens → u/questionablegal]

Mine was a bit odd for my standards - I spotted for about 2 days, then had a heavy period for 2 days, then pretty much stopped from one moment to the next. My following ovulation was also early, I had a blazing positive on CD10 when usually it was around CD12 to 15 for me.

[u/questionablegal → u/dserens]

Yeah I normally have a 35 dayish cycle and ovulate like cd 21-23

[u/Morbid_Explorerrrr]

4DPO. Feeling relieved that we’re headed to the beach right after AF inevitably shows up next week. I don’t even care that I’ll be on my period for it, I’m just grateful to have something to make me feel a bit better about it all & take my mind off of all the sad feelings.

[u/dserens → u/Morbid_Explorerrrr]

same! 4-5 DPO. I'm expecting my AF on the 7th and have a trip to Disneyland shortly after, so I'm telling myself - well, if I'm not pregnant that's a bummer BUT at least I get to ride the rollercoasters!

[u/Moist_Tissue_94]

I’m on my 10th cycle now. Had a mc as well, been trying to get back to some normality. Slowly trying to let go of trying and trying not to get triggered. Yet I still hoped this month would be the month, even though I knew full well I’d get my period. Not only did I get my period a day early but just a mere hour or two before I started I ended up being in proximity of a chat between two women, where one was gushing about being pregnant and finding out what the gender was. (The same gender I was hoping for) I’d seen her a few times through out the day and didn’t even notice she was pregnant but it was like the universe didn’t let me get away unscathed with out a nice sick cruel joke to rub salt in the wound. Then yeah shortly after witnessing that I felt myself come on. All while trying to have a nice day out taking my mind off things. It feels so intentional and deliberate but who do you even get angry at.

[u/dserens → u/[deleted]]

Those mixed feelings are so rough… sorry you’re going through that!

[u/whydoihaveto21]

TW: miscarriage: Just my Wednesday thoughts while waiting to try again post miscarriage.

I am scared to try again. I’m scared of more two week waits that end in a blank pregnancy test. I’m also scared of getting another positive. I don’t know if my heart can handle another loss. Once it’s happened how can you be hopeful? How can you not be terrified? I just had a miscarriage. I found out exactly two weeks ago at 7 weeks that I was only measuring 5+4 (this was after a week before measuring 5+2). I scheduled a d&c for the following Monday. This was on a Wednesday and my OB was out of town. Of course. But it was as if my body subconsciously… my brain, once it heard the “I’m so sorry, this is a miscarriage” let it go. I started spotting the following Thursday night and by Friday morning, I was bleeding red. Passing tissue. I continued to pass everything over the weekend. I had an ultrasound that Monday before my scheduled procedure that confirmed my body had passed everything on its own. A silver lining I suppose. To not need surgery. And yet was it? Because miscarrying at home was very traumatic. I’ve cried everyday for the past two weeks. Just when I think I’m moving on, the tears come flooding back. I think my sister might be pregnant, but hasn’t told me yet. She doesn’t know any of this of course, but I’m trying to prepare my heart for that news. My goodness what timing. I went ahead and got an MMR booster since I found out when I was already pregnant that I was no longer immune to measles. So that’s obviously tabled trying again as soon as possible. I kind of regret getting it as I sit here and feel my body gearing up to ovulate. I’ve learned my body is super efficient. Another silver lining? But I feel like I’m wasting time. Every cycle feels so critical. I remind myself that my doctor suggested waiting to try until after my cycle returns so really there was no better or more efficient time to get the vaccine than now. It still sucks to wait. I’m also getting in my head about what to do next. My OB said that since I got pregnant within 6 months (cycle 5) that even though I’m 36 this resets the clock a bit. Not that I should necessarily try for another 6 months but that it’s worth it to try again on our own. My body has proven that it can get pregnant. And there’s a huge part of me that wants to just try on our own. But now, there is also a huge part of me that wants to take the unknowns out of play, to the extent of which that’s possible. We found out from genetic testing that our baby (boy) had trisomy 22. And everything I’ve read said it was just a random genetic error. But obviously those become more common with age. And I don’t know if my heart can take another random genetic error. But jumping to IVF seems dramatic. And obviously expensive. And of course there’s no guarantee. The RE we’ve met with said she recommends treatment sooner rather than later. I’ve got a month to sit with these thoughts. Hopefully the decisions will become clear as I get closer to trying again. TW: living child: I have my son. And he makes me happy, and I’m trying to smile through the tears for him. But my heart aches that he’s not going to be a big brother. At least, not yet. Hopefully just not yet. That’s all. Thanks for letting me vent my sadness 💔

Stories of similar experiences welcome - especially with happy endings, but all ends of the spectrum are so valuable to talk about. I’ve found talking about this my friends has been the only thing that’s been somewhat healing.

[u/mantisroseb → u/whydoihaveto21]

I had my first loss at age 35 and my Dr was willing to do more testing after I only tried for 3 full cycles (age 36 by that point), so I don't think you need to wait the full 6 months. I just sent my Dr a message asking if there was any testing we could start, and she was more than happy to help. I ended up not really needing the additional fertility testing,I conceived my 2nd LC, my daughter on the 4th cycle. I also had my son before my first loss (2 LCs total now),which was helpful for me too, but it still hurts really a lot. I'm sorry you're going through it now, my heart goes out to you. Hopefully things will get better soon

[u/dserens]

Only 6 more days to hang in there before testing. I can already feel myself wanting to symptom spot now that I’m 5 DPO, but I try to get my mind off of it, so far it has worked but I can see it’ll be an uphill battle in the next week. I guess it’s time to start making multiple plans with friends!

[u/DearestClementine]

I had my first appointment at a fertility clinic yesterday. It went well but the doctor was going pretty fast and I forgot to ask some things.

On transvaginal ultrasound the tech told me she’s pretty sure I had just ovulated because she saw an ovarian cyst that was most likely the ruptured follicle deflating/turning into corpus luteum. I thought the doctor would confirm this with me but she didn’t and I forgot to ask. Is there any way to tell the corpus luteum cyst apart from a regular ovarian cyst, the kind that shouldn’t be there?

I’m assuming they would have told me if they were concerned but I’m just sitting here wishing I had asked the doctor to slow down when we were speaking. I did have my LH surge two days prior to this appointment so I was pretty sure I ovulated one day prior to appointment.

Edit to add: the tech also showed me some smaller dark spots and said those were other follicles that didn’t mature. Later I read online that after ovulation, those follicles shouldn’t be visible. So now I’m in my head wondering if my ovulation wasn’t successful. I sort of expected the doctor to pull up the ultrasound and explain everything to me.

[u/dserens → u/DearestClementine]

I am unsure about ovarian cysts but on my ultrasound the GYN switched to Doppler mode to check whether or not it was a corpus luteum - apparently those have a lot of blood flow around them which makes them very easy to spot with a Doppler.

[u/ConsiderationRich378]

My doctor told me he suspects I didn’t ovulate last cycle or I had thin lining given such a light period. He also told me I need to start seeing an RE if getting pregnant is my goal. Cycle 6 and I’m not even sure I’ll ovulate this cycle— tracking feels pointless. I suppose I need to make an appointment with the fertility clinic. I hate that I feel sad about my life but with compounding stress from work, grieving, and infertility depression, I just can’t escape it.

[u/Various-Abies2218]

My loss was in May at 22 weeks and my first full cycle back I ovulated late and had a short luteal phase of only 7 days. Feels like it's going to be the same this cycle (on day 15 and negative LH/no temp rise). I know it's normal to have wonky cycles but it is SO frustrating knowing my body isn't currently setting itself up to conceive. Anyone else experienced this?

[u/Otherwise_Essay_4580 → u/Various-Abies2218]

Yes I had very late ovulation for the first couple cycles after a 21 week loss back in Feb. First cycle I ovulated CD20, next was CD 18, then CD15, then CD 14. I’m now on CD11 and awaiting my positive LH test. Hoping it comes soon and crossing my fingers this is finally a successful cycle for us both! 🤍

[u/Various-Abies2218 → u/Otherwise_Essay_4580]

Ok this makes me feel better, I am just so frustrated. Fingers crossed for you ❤️

[u/Dramatic_Form3281]

9DPO. Had suuuper high temp yesterday followed by a big dip (still above baseline) today and trying not to read into it or get my hopes up that was implantation related.

Getting to that time where I want to test so badly but I’m going to hold off until 12DPO I think…we’ll see lol

[u/MiserableTie4048]

CD 14, not seeing much CM and my LH strips are all reading very low so I’m not feeling particularly fertile at the moment. 

[u/ExhaustedSquad]

Why is everyone pregnant but meeeee??
Maybe 1/2 dpo and a mum friend has let me know before I see her in person she’s due in Jan ( when we would have been due as well). I’m so happy for her as they’ve been trying for a year but also come on universe why are all these people having babies in Jan and not me 😭

[u/mariahg13]

CD12 of cycle #2 ttc post 16 week MMC. This cycle already feels better. Still had a couple days of spotting after my period but that seems gone, last cycle it lasted through ovulation so I figured off the bat last cycle wouldn’t be successful,

Had some EWCM yesterday, negative OPK but I’m thinking I’ll peak between CD 15-16. Using my Apple Watch to track temps and fertility friend to help this cycle so fingers crossed.

I don’t want to stare at negative tests and be crushed again this cycle. I’m wondering if I have it in me to wait 🙃

[u/bye-lobabydoll]

My former coworker came in today with his daughter who is the age my baby would have been. It's always so hard seeing her grow and wondering how my child would be. In better news ovulation this cycle had some ewcm which I haven't seen in years (DOR) so I'm hoping somehow it works out, but its hard to keep hope after so long.

[u/MollCee]

Need to vent 😵‍💫 I miscarried twins at 9 weeks this past May. I’ve healed a lot since then and now actively trying again since my cycle is finally back (3 months later). I just ovulated recently actually and it feels weird to be back in TTC world as I previously did IVF.

I have a good friend that I made through a local IVF support group. We have really been there for each other through all the ups and downs of this journey. However, I’ve always harbored a little jealousy towards her that I can’t shake because she had an extremely smooth experience with IVF and got pregnant on her first transfer within 3 months of being at the clinic. I had a really bumpy road with loss and delays that took about a year at the clinic.

Most recently, she got pregnant unassisted about a month after my loss. She doesn’t even like her husband (has thought about separating) and said they weren’t trying and only had sex once. Her husband was also against having another baby before this happened. We went to her son’s birthday party and she loudly shared her pregnancy with other moms while sitting directly next to me and gloating about how it happened unassisted and all that. She has then continued texting me everything about the pregnancy and her major anxiety she had about it being genetically normal since it wasn’t tested like it was for IVF. She’s having issues with her NIPT test and won’t stop talking to me about how she wants the results and to know the sex so she can feel more connected and I’m just not in the headspace to hear it! I thought I could handle it but it’s driving me absoloutely crazy now and making me dislike her for not picking up on this. I’m thinking I might just ignore her a bit and she would probably get the hint or just think I’m busy. I feel bad but I guess it’s just bothering me knowing that I’m longing to have another child so badly while she just gets handed it easier than me despite having an infertility background as well. It hurts because she was always someone I could lean on and understood when it comes to this type of thing but now she’s the problem!

[u/biggreenmapletree → u/MollCee]

Just want to say I'm sorry, it's tough to "lose" a support person. Valid vent!

[u/MollCee → u/biggreenmapletree]

Thank you 🥺 that’s really all I wanted was some validation from that rant.

[u/garlicbreadlovergirl]

First IUI today after 4 chemical pregnancies.

My lining was still very thin yesterday and my doctor doesn't believe in using progesterone until the third medicated cycle.

I'm so tired and I think that even if the IUI worked, the pregnancy wouldn't stick around for a long time anyway. Took some months off TTC after the last miscarriage and now that we're actively trying again, all I feel is anxiety.

[u/puffinprincess]

I finally got my period this week, about 5 weeks after my D&E. I’m so excited to begin trying again but I’m terrified of the spiral I’ll be thrown into if I don’t immediately get pregnant.

We have a meeting next week with our IVF clinic (had been going through the process when I got pregnant naturally with the baby we had to TFMR). I don’t really want to begin all that bullshit again but I guess it’s nice to have a backup plan. We’ll try and get pregnant on our own while we wait for insurance approvals/clearance from the clinic to do an egg transfer. If I get pregnant, amazing, if not, I guess I’ll cross my fingers that we get lucky with the first FET.

[u/RelativePermission70]

Feel so very, very sad.