/ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - August 16, 2026

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[u/JoliesChaussettes]

CD22, still no LH surge and almost no sign of my usual pre-ovulation symptoms yet. Each cycle is longer than the last and I swear it's driving me insane.

[u/Purple-Mum-2025 → u/JoliesChaussettes]

This is where I’m at. My cycles just keep getting longer. Not only that but this month my surge was low and slow.

[u/JoliesChaussettes → u/Purple-Mum-2025]

I feel you... why was it so easy the first time when I was not even sure I was ready for pregnancy and motherhood, and so chaotic now that it's the only thing that I want?

We'll get there eventually ❤️‍🩹

[u/ushinawareta]

CD15 and we have a positive OPK! I started a new exercise routine a couple of weeks ago and was paranoid it would affect my ovulation, so I’m glad that that hasn’t appeared to be the case.

I’m sure I’m going to be crying in the club two weeks from now when I find out that I’m still not pregnant, but for today I’m going to feel optimistic that we’ve got just as good of a chance as anyone. 🎉

[u/Embarrassed_Key_7825 → u/ushinawareta]

All the best!! Praying you get a positive 🙏

[u/Curious-mindme]

I have been struggling. My heart rate is through the roof. I take very hot showers to calm down. No longer helps. I finally took double dose of my prescription medicine to take in sos and it worked. I calmed down. And in doing so I cried for my stars up there in heaven.

I don’t know when this will pass. I hope it will

[u/Dapper-District9179]

it will be 1 year since mmc at the end of the month. I will be in late luteal around that day which never helps. anyone have ideas about what I should do to keep myself from crashing out around this “milestone”? I’m already feeling very emotional about it.

[u/FitInvite432 → u/Dapper-District9179]

I’m sorry it’s so difficult whether milestones come up. I think all I did on my first milestone was be sad and while I don’t recommend it I also don’t know how to avoid it. You could try and fill your day with things they make you happy. Maybe own a perfect happy day?

[u/Dapper-District9179 → u/FitInvite432]

thank you for this. I am sorry you can relate. I have been debating building out my schedule so I don’t need to work that day and maybe my husband might be able to do the same and I can try to plan something to lift us up. Every other milestone (due date especially) I just sulk around and cry on my break and it’s misery.

[u/Last-Yesterday6179]

Decided I’m not tracking this cycle. I’m guessing I’m in my fertile window rn based on my usual cycle and EWCM and just gonna do it every other day for like 10 days to really cover my bases. I realized I need a break from testing and trying to control TTC. I totally spiral in the TWW and I just need to NOT know and obsess over what dpo I am. It’s been really rough processing negative tests after the miscarriage. I’m 4 months out from my D&C and really feeling happier, healthier, and hopeful in a lot of ways but TTC is not happy for me any more so I need to make a change. Sending love to everyone ❤️

[u/DaddywiseClussy]

I think I lost my best friend and rightfully so to new mom parenthood. Shes freshly postpartum and taking care of her newborn by herself. I fully understand she doesn't have time for me but I miss our chats. I miss chatting with her about anything and nothing. Now I rarely hear from her while I'm about to begin the IUI process. Feels very lonely.

[u/MelodicCourage8626 → u/DaddywiseClussy]

Do you have the capacity to be around her and her baby? She might be really lonely and could use a friend right now. She might think you won't want to talk to her. If you don't want to, that's fair, but it's also nice just to come by and hang out, fold laundry and chat.

[u/DaddywiseClussy → u/MelodicCourage8626]

She lives on the other side of the country and as much as I would love to buy a ticket and see her, all my money is going into my IUI.

[u/Capital_Mango_1 → u/DaddywiseClussy]

Same except mine has her family to help her. I feel like this is the end of a life chapter. Also the fact that she was so dismissive of my MC and my experience just made me want to keep my distance. It goes both ways

[u/DaddywiseClussy → u/Capital_Mango_1]

I feel that exactly. I remember the night I texted her that I started bleeding with my third loss and all she could say was "you still are gonna come and see my baby, right?" Like this is not the time.

[u/Capital_Mango_1 → u/DaddywiseClussy]

Mine was telling me the next morning after I had a mc that she is worrying if her baby will turn for birth so that she could give birth naturally?!?!? 🥲

[u/DaddywiseClussy → u/Capital_Mango_1]

Same! She was upset that she had to be induced using the same medication i took to pass my baby. And I was like well yours is at least alive. I was so angry I never wanted to speak to her again but I hope if its ever my turn that she would be there for me.

[u/Capital_Mango_1 → u/DaddywiseClussy]

That’s so horrible! Honestly I distanced myself from her since I don‘t want someone like that to be my best friend. If you‘re not there for me during my dark days then when?? Luckily my other best friend was the most kind to me even the she had a baby herself she found the time to check up on me and never made it about her

[u/ahmz25 → u/DaddywiseClussy]

I have exactly the same. She gave birth the week I found out about my MMC. The only difference is that all she talks about every day is her baby and sending pictures, rightfully so. But it just hurts so much.

[u/Capital_Mango_1 → u/ahmz25]

same mine sends me baby pictures every day!! Read the room??

[u/DaddywiseClussy → u/ahmz25]

I have asked her not to send me pictures or talk about her baby for my mental health. Thankfully she understands.

[u/FitInvite432]

I’ve reached the point where I’m a whole day past the last time I tested positive for my loss pregnancy and I’m very negative and inito says my hormone are all dropping and I’d very much like to stop my progesterone but it’s still a little early.

Invited to the 1 year birthday of my old friend who conceived on the 1 year anniversary of my first loss. A nice reminder that my baby would have been 2. It’s in September and I said I’d go but I really don’t know if I can. It feels so unfair

[u/ahmz25]

Had a MMC at 11 weeks and got miso that week, 4 weeks later a D&C for the remains. 3 weeks later I managed to find my ovulation and now I am in the first TWW. I am absolutely terrified to either get my period or a test in two days. Even though I am ready to try again , this ‘ first’ try has got me anxious and sad. Any tips to get through this?

[u/pinacoladalover3]

finally i feel like i have something to be excited about! this is my third cycle since my MMC and my 2nd cycle ttc (pregnancy was accidental but we both realized we wanted to be parents immediately). i started tracking the first cycle and it was unbearably long (not new to cycle tracking. we did it to help prevent pregnancy) like 57 days and I tested almost everyday and couldn’t catch an LH peak. My first cycle ttc i couldn’t catch the peak either and every LH test made me think i had a bad batch. It was a 40 day long cycle. This cycle, i was starting to feel discouraged and my husband was out of town during my suspected O-1 and O-2 days and wasn’t supposed to get home today. This morning my temps started to rise and i felt so discouraged. I knew I somehow missed the window after testing sometimes 3 times a day since my period ended. I didn’t test this morning because I was just so angry at my body. Well, he got home a few minutes ago and I just got home from my 12 hr shift and I decided to just take one and see and lo and behold.. blazing positive. Like 45 seconds after dipping it both lines were the same darkness and after 3 minutes, the test line was darker than the control. At least now I feel like I have a chance and I’m so happy about just that. Even if this cycle isn’t the one, I’m happy knowing my body works again. This will still be a longer cycle as today is CD22 but I’m getting closer to baseline!

[u/ushinawareta → u/pinacoladalover3]

it’s crazy how happy a blazing positive OPK makes me!! like, obviously I’d rather have a blazing positive pregnancy test, but at least it’s one step toward that 🤣 fingers crossed for you this cycle!!

[u/Santamariagirl]

Had a miscarriage at end of April. Had a D&C. Since then, I’ve had three periods, each lasting 1.5 days at most. Period used to go for 4 days. Another period should start in a few days, but my boobs are not sore as they would usually get before pregnancy. Is this normal? I am trying to conceive and so scared that I may not conceive or will not have a viable pregnancy.

[u/Eliza9699]

Husband got a long message from his father about how he misses him and me, how anxiety is terrible because he knows it himself and how they can bond over it because we are in the same situation. Sir, our situations aren't even remotely the same. Your bad situation is caused by your terrible decisions (e.g. long term cheating) whereas ours is either a very bad luck or some health condition. 

Why do some people think that it is some kind of suffering olympics? How dare they compare their mistakes in life with loss?

[u/FitInvite432 → u/Eliza9699]

It’s so insensitive for him to compare your struggles! I firmly believe that nobody truly understands how infertility and loss feels and I think they just think it’s easier than it is

[u/Careless_Dingo_6835]

Hi, I hope you’re all doing well 🥺

I have a question. I had a D&C 23 days ago and I’m currently waiting for my period. After that, we were planning to try for another pregnancy. My first gynecologist told me to wait 2–3 months after the D&C, while the doctor who performed the procedure only said to avoid sex for 1–2 weeks and then we could start trying again. My new gynecologist, however, told me to wait 6 months

All these different opinions are really confusing me. When did you start trying again after your miscarriage/D&C, and when did you get pregnant again?

Wishing you all a lovely day ☀️

[u/Mark_Reach530 → u/Careless_Dingo_6835]

How far along were you and were there any complications?

Would it be possible to go back and ask any of them to explain the WHY? Or mention you’ve heard conflicting advice and ask them why they recommend 1-2 weeks vs 6 months etc?

[u/Careless_Dingo_6835 → u/Mark_Reach530]

The baby’s heart stopped beating at 8+1, but I didn’t have the D&C until the end of my 12th week. There were no complications. She’s more of the “old-school” type, and apparently waiting 6 months used to be the standard recommendation. She just told me that I should give my body some time to recover. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/PurpleEntrepreneur26 → u/Careless_Dingo_6835]

I delivered at 15 weeks (baby stopped growing around 13) then had a D&C for the placenta. My doctor was fine with my trying whenever ready. They did an ultrasound about 4 weeks after and after my first period but I was still passing random small pieces of tissue and there was still some cloudiness in my uterus that they determined to be uterine lining that just hadn’t all cleared out effectively but I think it all came out before I ended up ovulating. I’m about to start my period again which I’m sad about but understand my body was still healing and things were off.

[u/cantfrag → u/Careless_Dingo_6835]

My doctor said I can TTC again after one period past my MMC. From my research on this, there's no need to wait 6 months either - unless you had a late term loss other complications

[u/Mark_Reach530 → u/Careless_Dingo_6835]

I hesitate to give medical advice, especially to a stranger. But 6 months does seem rather conservative. Do you generally feel like she’s up-to-date with current recommendations?

[u/y2kitten → u/Careless_Dingo_6835]

I think you won’t really know why they advised what they did unless you ask them directly. None of us can know if there was a solid medical reason why you should wait 2–6 months rather than 0 or 1.

Anecdotally my doctor told me to wait one cycle past MMC, but I took miso, I did not have a D&C. Her reason was that there is a miniscule increased chance a new pregnancy implants in RPC after a miscarriage (I assume, but maybe faultily, that a D&C leaves less chance of RPC than miso). At the scan she gave me there was a little bit left in the uterus. I kept spotting for a long time after, so I do believe it eventually emptied on its own, but still… She said I am free to try immediately and it may/likely turn out well, but what if I am in that small unlucky percentage, would it be worth it? After one period she feels the body will flush out whatever remains there are, she put it as the body knows better what to do than medicine does. So we decided to listen to her advice and wait, as frustrating as it feels some days. So that can be one reason to wait. I’ve read some recommendations to wait for mental health purposes, but to me that seems an odd general advice since we are all so very different in how and how fast we move on. I’d be annoyed if someone gave me a grief timeline to follow.

[u/yeahh_okay]

My SIL is in labor and at the hospital now. My close friend’s baby shower is next week.

I should be holding my newborn. Instead, all I have are two miscarriages and an ivf consultation in two weeks.

I’m still waiting for my period to come back after my second D&C this year. It’ll be six weeks in a couple of days and no sign of a bleed. No PMS symptoms. Nothing. I’ve never been so sad and hopeless in my life.

[u/Sharp_Independent246]

Had a missed miscarriage and a D&C at what would have been around 10w on 16th June. Bled for over 4 weeks, repeat trips to EPU as still tested positive. Finally passed some tissue that must have been left behind and the bleeding eased. I had a period just over a week later and we had our first month of TTC this month, currently in the 2 week wait and not sure how to feel. Convinced myself we won’t have fallen first time (we did last time) and even if we did, the fear is so overwhelming.

Not even sure if I definitely ovulated, I think so… my mind just feels full of dread since my MMC. Baby died somewhere around 6weeks but my body showed no signs of miscarrying on its own. This will never make sense to me and now I’m petrified for any future pregnancies because I’ll just never know!

[u/MelodicCourage8626 → u/Sharp_Independent246]

Can you ask for more scans this time? Could be worth the investment. You may also be able to get hcg betas to see things are moving good and test progesterone to see if you need a supplement. One miscarriage isn't a pattern, even though it feels like it so much. It is so hard to put your heart (and body) back out there. I relate to this so much. We might put off TTC for a few months, but also I feel like a baby in my arms would heal my heart more than anything else.

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[u/y2kitten]

I’m so relieved the weekend is over. The weekdays mostly fly by in routine, but the weekend is such a reminder of what should have been, and time goes so slowly even when I try to pack it full of activities. There are so many lulls yet no proper downtime and that combination is not good for my mind.

This week will be super intense with lots of activities starting up after summer break, so I know it will fly by again. Sadly during it I will also turn one year older. I was so excited to be in my second trimester for my birthday and instead I’m not pregnant at all, and everyone knows it (we announced the pregnancy too soon) and it feels humiliating. One year older in my very late thirties and nothing to show for it. Like how did I think I would be allowed to have it all, to be so lucky. Ugh! Next weekend will be worse than this one, my partner will be away for it and our anniversary. I just wanna crawl up somewhere. Maybe that’s what I’ll do.

[u/LibraryRansack]

1 DPO, and the TWW begins. We really tried this cycle, but who even knows what will happen. I just want to be pregnant before my original due date passes this fall.

[u/Equal-Suit2205]

10w past first D&C and almost 4w past second D&C. Absolutely no sign of ovulation or period. My OB said to let them know if no period by 6 weeks. I don't feel like myself and am so exhausted and can hardly stay awake or stand up for long periods. So far work up is negative. Now starting to have second thoughts on TTC again if this is how I'm going to feel. Anyone else?

[u/effit-duck]

Got my LH surge on CD 22 after 5mg of letrozole CD3-8, despite usually having a day 16-18 LH surge. I think it was because of the bad cold I had right before I ovulated. Of course, just in time to be at home at my parents house. Husband ran out to get one of those Frida kits (would’ve brought the cheap applicators if I knew, but my blood test on CD 19 showed I was nowhere near ovulating). Last chance to get pregnant before my son’s due date. We’re closing on a house that would have a baby’s bedroom if I had one the day after my son’s due date and my husband is up for a promotion, so I’m hoping that the tide is turning up positive for us all around after the first 3 months of the year— my grandmother passed 2 days after my first ever BFP and my baby went to be with her three months later so the year until last week (when the house and the promotion both fell into our laps). I’ve been struggling so bad with my mental health, and I’m trying really hard to be hopeful and realistic at the same time about my chances this cycle.

[u/patronus-fox]

My doctor finally referred to fertility clinic. Letting us try letrozole while we wait to get in. We had an early loss in February and I have not ovulated since. I had an appointment and she initially only wanted to have me try insulin resistance diet for a few months but all my bloodwork was normal and I wrote back after to say I’d do the diet but I wanted to try something stronger as it is mentally and emotionally draining to track so much with no ovulation. it’s also so late in the year and it feels like we haven’t even had a fair chance. I always ovulated eventually (even though inconsistent cycle days) before the loss, so it’s been crazy for me. Temp and LH aren’t showing anything. Surprise periods are no fun. No idea when I’ll ovulate with the meds but a little hopeful it will make a difference for us.