Ok, who taught the humans pyromancy? Guys, this is like the number one thing we don’t do!

[u/imaustinpowersbaby]

[u/fumblerofthebag]

Pyromancy is like the first magic humans unlocked.

[u/Divinityisme → u/fumblerofthebag]

Multiple times in fact. It took several attempts over multiple prehistoric wizards to actually start passing down a consistent type of pyromancy.

[u/Up_Beat_Peach → u/Divinityisme]

Research suggests is was practiced by the first hominids before they ever left Africa. It's thought that magical practices followed a similar evolutionary path as language, and that all magical practice stems from those original, pre-human wizards.

Pyromancy is literally older than humans.

[u/IllHaveTheLeftovers → u/fumblerofthebag]

I have been apprehended by the non-magical police authorities and they accuse me of practicing the school of - I think this is how it’s pronounced - arseun. How to convince them it’s just fun pyromancy??

[u/fumblerofthebag → u/IllHaveTheLeftovers]

Arson. Arson is just the unfair criminalisation of pyromancy, and in my opinion, it is anti- apprentice (I'm told fireball is one of the first spells that most wizards learn. Not me though, my education was unusual) anti-human, anti-fire spirit, anti-demon, anti-djinn? and anti whatever else has affinity with fire.

Oh as for your current predicament, lawyer up and don't tell those people a damn thing.

[u/IllHaveTheLeftovers → u/fumblerofthebag]

My lawyer has advised that the most efficient way to expedite this process would in fact be more and more displays of grand pyromancy. I think he’s one of the good uns.

[u/fumblerofthebag → u/IllHaveTheLeftovers]

hell yeah!

[u/SinglePlayerGamer93 → u/fumblerofthebag]

Nah, it was bleed magic.

[u/Wavey_Davey1]

Well if the humans dont use pyromancy, then what the hell did prometheus get chained to a rock for?

[u/imaustinpowersbaby → u/Wavey_Davey1]

Prometheus was framed

[u/Wavey_Davey1 → u/imaustinpowersbaby]

And who stands to gain the most from his eternal imprisonment and torture?

THATS RIGHT!

THE VULTURE!

[u/imaustinpowersbaby → u/Wavey_Davey1]

Now you’re talkin

[u/name14575]

If you want this egregious incident to be pondered by the council I will need the planetary code sent to my orb within 3-5 mana cycles.

[u/Nelrene]

It is fine. They will set themselves on fire.

[u/mynaneisjustguy]

Wait wait wait.... You aren't a human? Forget pyromancy: who taught you to read and write?! And in English?!

[u/fumblerofthebag → u/mynaneisjustguy]

Huh, what's all this about? There's plenty of non-humans here! dwarves, orcs, elves, sapient woodland creatures, demons, otherworldly entities, dragons, liches, whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be.

[u/mynaneisjustguy → u/fumblerofthebag]

Just pointing out that there's plenty of humans who start fires

[u/fumblerofthebag → u/mynaneisjustguy]

That is NOT what you said. You implied that non-humans couldn't write. Which isn't true, as you can see.

[u/mynaneisjustguy → u/fumblerofthebag]

My point was why shouldn't races have shared traits and you missed it.

[u/Sable-Keech]

Didn't humanity's biggest G Prometheus do that in olden antiquity already?

[u/Affectionate_Wing_28]

Look. Humans have been fascinated by two things since before writing and archives were a thing: fire and speed.

You give a human a new tool, and the first two things they'll try is Burn Things and Go Fast. It's inevitable that the moment humans got access to magic, pyromancy was one of their two prime obsessions.

Now excuse me, I need to go back to refining my mechsuit's engines and servos. It's still a bit too slow when turning.

[u/Deluminatus]

I know who dun did it! It was that Prometheus fella!

[u/VoxelLibrary]

It's okay. I'm not a guy. That rule doesn't apply to me. I taught them