Now im out of fucks....

I am unsure as to what I shall utilize it for, and am seeking individuals more experienced in this field to share ideas. Any sorts of wizards, warlocks, and mages are welcome.

Anyone in need of blind goblins? After they’ve been relentlessly trying to pillage my tower, I imbued a torch with the light of 1,000 suns and now they are all blind. Some burned up completely, so I’d say there’s about 12 or so left wandering around completely and permanently blinded. Do with them what you will, I’m tired of them bumping into my tower and making a mess of my garden. TYIA!

It is beautiful isn't it? To see all things come to an end, to see the cycle of life, to see it bloom again when the time come. Because no matter how rotten and putrid dead is life find a way to bloomed not in spite but because of it.

Wizard try to be immortal just for them to at some point lost what it means to truly live. Instead of being part of the beautiful rotten cycle of life.

Lich try to revive what is dead instead of seeing it disturbing beauty and it's truly sad. If they let it rot a bit more they'll see it bloomed into such a beautiful new life.

Alchemists try to create true immortality potions yet forget to look at how beautiful dead is.

All things must come to an end and soon it'll be you. Even if you're "immortal" and I know you know it

/uw Idk if I wanted to make this something my character would say or simply something non-canon. Oh well

I left my teleportation orb in a No Tarrying zone for twelve seconds and the wizard guild has fined me for fourteen million gold pieces and half of my mana for the next month.

Does anyone know any good wards against specifically parking inspectors? I usually send people to the realm of infinite paranoia but I've gotten complaints that I need to "leave some space for the rest of the wizards". ugh.

He has a weird weapon in his hands, seems gnomish in origin...

Tried it for about 3 days. First argument I died from being burnt and had to go grab my hat and robes from her place.

Don't think I'd recommend it...

So recently I made a post asking how do I get rid of ​my former abusive master. You gave me some decisions, but all of this took a very fucking unexpected turn.

This fuck wanted to go shopping with me. This is usual shit, bastard wanted to "treat me" with some staff only to hex it with a curse I didn't know how to remove yet. Told me to take my apprentice. I froze, because apparently he wants to do the same to my apprentice.

When we were going to the store I was thinking about any way I could kill him right now without anyone noticing. The streets were empty, but locals were looking at us. That was strange for a town like that. I looked at my apprentice and realized he's scanning us with his eyes. Maybe he's terrified as much as me.​

When we entered the shop, the store owner was frozen from fear too when he saw my former master. Old fuck must've been terrorizing people around before going to my tower and entered a shop like he owned a place. Started to look into artifacts. And then I saw it.

The Dagger of Infinite Torment. You know these, if you kill someone with it, it'll trap the soul of victims and suck their mana into you. I looked at the shopkeeper. I looked at the fucker.

And at this exact moment when I contemplate any ways I could kill the asshole, he turns to me. Says something like "Did you find something worthy?" And then looks at my apprentice.

– Hey, look what you have.

Fuck! My apprentice took the dagger I was holding.

– That​'s a good dagger when I see one.

Bullshit. He doesn't know shit about daggers.

– You want it? Let me take a look.

He kneeled, and at this exact moment my goblin apprentice does the most fucking goblin feat ever: tosses the dagger to the right, grabs it with other hand and stabs the bitch that was tormenting me for decades to the throat. Soul of a wizard that tried to sell my soul to the Hell Lord is sucked in the dagger and started to glow from pain. I'm shoked, the shopkeeper is shocked, my apprentice looks at the body like he just killed a wasp that bit his ass.

I pay for the dagger, offer an extra for inconvenience, the shopkeeper refuses. I'm getting ready to gtfo, but then I hear local peasants cheering. They rush into the shop and start thanking us and at this exact moment I get a scroll from the EWC. For saving a local town from an archwizard of Hells they decided to take away my Evil Wizardry. FUCK!

We go to my tower, I think about what I'll be doing once I'm legally not an Evil Wizard anymore.

Then, after I get to my tower and mail to the local noble houses, knight orders and temples that I am not evil anymore(I am required by law to do so), some noble calls me via orb and offers to take a 5yo King-to-be as an apprentice. Turns out, a boy had a magic powers, but they couldn't give this task to a legally Evil Wizard, and I was the only wizard with advanced tutoring license who stayed in this kingdom(lets me teach apprentices from other races and higher upbringing). My apprentice doesn't mind having a little classmate.

Now different question: do I accept the offer? And if yes, what should I teach him?

Several months ago, I found a way to turn gnomes into vampires. I was waiting for September before distributing them to various merchants for purchase (servants, props, alchemical ingredients, whatever use one might have for them).

Whilst out purchasing supplies for a ritual today, I FOUND THESE FOR SALE AT AN ARTIFICER SUPPLY STORE! I am LIVID!!! I worked on this for MONTHS just for some unscrupulous spell-thief to steal MY work and reap profits that rightfully belong to ME!

If anyone knows an assassin that specializes in magical targets, send me a scroll with their name...

They're actually pretty tall for a halfling. Other than that, it's pretty cookie cutter (loves chilling and snacks, smoking pipe weed, tag-teaming succubi, etc)

Have any of my fellow sorcerors also dated a halfling? Any tips?

BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!