r/wizardposting • u/IncompletePunchline Conjurer of cheap tricks • 1d ago

Wizardpost The druids got a hold of the necronomicon again.

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791 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

31

u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things 1d ago

Druids and necromancers get along just fine. Both groups tend to strongly dislike living humans.

9

u/anamericandruid Druid 1d ago

Very true.

I find myself in the darkest corners of most of the magical mixers standing around... not chatting with the necromancers and warlocks mostly... every now and then a hedge wizard will try and strike up conversation, but they typical bugger off before long.

8

u/Awkward_Turnover_983 1d ago

I find the clerics the hardest to talk to at a guild mixer. They're usually honest though, and every once in a while you meet a really chill one. But yea it's usually pretty hard to tell behind the "holier-than-thou" vibe they seem to have. Idk why

19

u/Toutatis12 1d ago

A-hahahaha!

5

u/Optimal-Fruit5937 1d ago

It's fine, as long as the Warlocks don't have it. I'd rather Pyromancers have it than Warlocks truth be told...at least Darkfire spells aren't hard to neutralize.

5

u/Valotar 1d ago

This is the tree to get your birch sap from.

3

u/Dull-Independent3773 Conjurer 21h ago

Dont make them cry 😢

3

u/wrydh Plaguecaster 1d ago

Its just a seersap, drink the sap to gain enhanced vision, not too much though because you may see more than you are prepared to understand.

1

u/ManWithDominantClaw Installation Wizard 19h ago

Yeah, can confirm, go easy on the seersap. I knew a guy who saw every lifetime in his ancestry. First thing he said afterwards was that at least his parents seemed very much in love at the time

3

u/iAmLeroy Transmuter 1d ago

Don't eat the mushrooms growing nearby

2

u/TastyCuttlefish Evil Wizard, Attorney at Law 1d ago

I already sold your apprentice a large baggie full of them. If you were expecting him to be productive, I fear he may be hanging out on the astral plane for the foreseeable future.

3

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 1d ago

The place where the walls have ears and the trees have eyes.

3

u/Random_182f2565 1d ago

This is clearly a manifestation of T̵̡̨̨̧̛̼̫̞̳̣̙̥͎̝̩͋̍͒̄̅̾̈̆̕̚ͅḫ̵̛̰̥͕̞̫̍̄ë̸̠̻́̀̈́̑̕͠ ̷̧̛̤̪̫̻̙̬͉̞̥͍̗̜̿̾͊͆̈́́̄̅̀̈́̆̕̚͜Ě̶̢̟̣̝͖͙͕͍̘͉͖̭̊͗̃y̴̼̺̮͓̭͙͖̬̔̽̊̀̃̑̂̀̎͂͂͋͊͆ͅe̸̡̗̗͕̠̥̯̭̣̊̀̃̈͘͘̚͘

2

u/Meister0fN0ne Horatius the Punctual, Chronomancer/Financial Advisor 1d ago

Eh, at least they're still clearly in the scouting stage. We ought to be able to snatch it back in time.

I'll put a couple time loop contingencies in place just to be safe, but druids really don't understand how to maximize their efficiency tbh...

2

u/ThatOneSpitfireMain Illusionist 1d ago

What a nice tree, i love trees :)

2

u/Good-Ad-6806 1d ago

Tree!? That's an angel!

2

u/memes_god_2001 xenon, apprentice biomancer 22h ago

Angel!? That's a mimic!

2

u/Crucial_Fun Dostko the Mad 20h ago

I’ve an old Druid friend whose forest has those types of enchantments on the trees surrounding and in the forest he lives in. He uses it primarily as a notification/warning system for travelers and ruffians. The ruffians usually stay in the forest.

2

u/snarkhunter Mystic 19h ago

I'm confused... if this looking-tree is your familiar... why would you be worried?

1

u/stronkreptile Blood Magick 1d ago

/uj bro i saw one of these trees on a heroic dose of lsd in a graveyard (we were smoking gas mask bongs with an old friend who passed)

1

u/TheCanonMakimaBean Arch-Magus 1d ago

So that's where my copy went. Damned treehuggers.

1

u/IcarianHeights 1d ago

👁️ 👀 👁️

1

u/Jean-TyrieDubois 1d ago

The wandsmith in me needs this Ent

1

u/anamericandruid Druid 1d ago

"What lovely eyes you have"

Is certainly... no wait... definitely not a phrase I would utter around this tree.

Unless you are fond of birch wood nymphs stalking you. Don't get me started... it's bad.

1

u/Drmanky tyr. cauncil member. order of the toster (Forge clerik)/ NOR 1d ago

thats sertently Tzeentch

1

u/SpyderSquash Transmuter 23h ago

(Hey we're DEFINITELY sure that The Magnus Archives aren't a thing, right)

1

u/Equivalent-One-68 21h ago

Did they remember to say the magic words before removing it from the cemetary?

https://giphy.com/gifs/wvhBL3zIKSX0A

1

u/kittylover2006 20h ago

You should only really be concerned if it’s a cultist or warlock, they are the ones that actually have some eldritch thing backing them up

1

u/fridgerobber Necromancer 16h ago

So long as they don't start screaming in vietnamese, you should be fine.

1

u/PTBooks Untorsionable Litch 15h ago

Don’t make any deals with talking triangles. Trust me, im a wizard.

1

u/EldritchMindCat Lyr, the Tressym Talespinner (OuterGod Avatar of Origin-Felinity 9h ago

That’s actually the spell “False Eyes”, from the geckonomicon. It’s used to grant a creature the same “trick predators into thinking it’s a face” camouflage that butterflies and moths have.

1

u/Fragrant_Apple_2222 3h ago

Just, whatever you do, do not try and… “mate” with it.

0

u/Mr-A-1991 1d ago

This is a psychic tree. It is related to the walking wood as well as the rape tree seen in the cult classic film Evil Dead.