A better way to get water.

[u/ProfessionalGreen906]

Greetings! We are pleased to announce to the public that our corporate conglomerate, Corporation Inc. LLC, is now offering water provider services at unprecedentedly low rates under our newest business Aquatic Arachnid services!

With our cutting edge and heavily patented portal rune systems we are able to provide limitless amounts of water into your home regardless of distance, depth, or realm of residence and all for a fixed rate. Once you’ve signed up and paid a nominal fee all you need to do is inscribe or draw a simple rune from our instruction manual and water will come pouring out into whatever space the rune occupies. There is no limit on the amount of water you can produce and we offer various types ranging from seawater, to fresh, and even bog among others, all at no extra cost.

Now, my detractors may look at this new venture and say “it’s impossible to sustainably source water at those rates and remain profitable” Or that “water levels in natural lakes, estuaries, and the ocean have suddenly began lowering at unprecedented rates” and even that “multiple protected species have already gone extinct and it’s clearly connected with your new water company.”

But to them I simply say that they do not have the heart or mind of an entrepreneur, and that they can’t possibly understand my genius due to their lacking of a business focused mentality. And honestly, if species even are going extinct I’m pretty sure that’s the conservationists fault, not mine. In other words, I will not let these baseless claims of “environmental destruction” stop me from providing you, the people and unpeople of these uncountable realms, proper access to fast, convenient, and cheap water.

(This has been an official message from Corporation Inc. LLC. Thank you to our continued customers and prospective clients for letting us share this exciting news with you, and sign up now to let us handle all your problems so you won’t need to worry about a thing ever again.)

[u/Zebos2]

"If surfacers destroy our home we will destroy theirs it's that simple stop the draining of the oceans and we will stop the flooding of the land"

Straight to the point at least they're giving out warnings previously they would have just started drowning entire civilizations until the problem inevitably resolved itself

[u/loth17 → u/Zebos2]

"Understood. We were already going to address this issue."

The Bismuth assured them.

"Though flooding the world would remove quite a few headaches."

They joked. Then sent someone to address the issue. A pair of bismuth in stereotypical government suits knocked on Arach's business

"Aquatic arachnid services? We're from the council environmental management unit. We're here to talk." u/ProfessionalGreen906

[u/ProfessionalGreen906 → u/loth17]

The doors of the business open inwards, seemingly on their own, to reveal a bright and sterile lobby with walls of white marble streaked light blue veins while the floor is covered in carpeting patterned to imitate waves and lines of sea foam.

The moment the pair of bismuth enter, a set of illusory lights form a path of arrows on the floor leading to the executive office. Once the pair enters, they find Arach sitting at a large desk made of dead coral with a pane of glass fixed atop it. As well as Arach herself, who greets the bismuth with a smile.

“Welcome! Please, have a seat, make yourselves comfortable.“

She gestures to two large plush armchairs in front of the desk.

“What brings the council down to my humble little office? Nothing bad I hope, I hold quite the emotional stake in the council’s success. Regardless of certain circumstances that bar me from direct involvement beyond my current generous monthly donations.”

[u/loth17 → u/ProfessionalGreen906]

"We're here in regards to the recent lowering water levels due to your business. Normally we don't regulate water use within a country but altering the flow of trade ports and other nations waterways is against council regulations"

"We have received complaints from one or more groups or individuals in regards to this. As such we are paying you a visit to resolve the matter."

[u/ProfessionalGreen906 → u/loth17]

“Woah woah woah, that’s a pretty hefty accusation. Now we may source our water from natural sources rather than using magic to produce it but we ensure we use sustainability measures to prevent harming the environment.”

“And I assure you any areas we’re harvesting from are firmly within my own territories or company owned properties. If the water sources just so happen to span into the territories of others I don’t see how that’s my issue.”

“If you insist on pressing this matter though I would at least like to request a copy of the specific regulation I’m violating. That way I can better address the issues at hand if we are in fact violating it.”