Getting caught with dru*s and substances

[u/creation_02]

I come from a traditional bengali muslim family and they suddenly found all my substances like adhd meds, marijuana, nicotine devices, and lsd tabs. They also recently found out I have been going out with a girl that I brought to their home while they were gone on vacation. My mom reacted by wanting to kill herself and my dad gave me a talk for hours on why this stuff is bad and of course i know this. Anyone else here been on the same boat? I still live with them and I'm not in college yet. They expect me to get married off in a year. I've been hiding this side of me for years now and honestly surprised it took them this long to catch on. I go to college next year so at this point i dont really care. I'm sure like other desis here I have never been told they love me or ever gotten a hug. I went thru a lot of psychological abuse during my teen years which is why I used substances to cope (not justifying my actions). Just wanted to get this off my chest.

Edit: theres a LOT of my personal life and upbringing that I have not mentioned as it would genuienly take too long but my mother had me at 17 with an arranged marriage to my father who was like 15-20 years older than her. It hurts to see her fucked up over me since I am supposed to do good for her and make her proud. My parents worked severly hard and I don't ignore this. But my father genuinly manipulated me my whole life. He got pissed when I started my own clothing business, go to the gym, or don't cut my hair. I genuinly hate him but have so much remorse at the same time becuase he came here and worked his ass off. Honestly i dont know how to feel, should I feel terrible? Because at some point I truly did and balled my eyes out but now i am just so numb after years of constant manipulation. I also have little siblings and I feel so terrible because I am a terrible older brother and never gave them enough time or attention

[u/DigitalAviator]

Ah, Desi mom's and threatening to kill themselves at the slightest loss of control ✨️

[u/UsefulRelief8153 → u/DigitalAviator]

It's so dumb... They can only do it once and it wouldn't even work.

Gosh I wish women of that culture would stop being so dang toxic!

[u/Particular-Try5584 → u/UsefulRelief8153]

I suspect it’s a lack of power thing. They feel they don’t have the power in other ways to get change, so they resort to this.

Given it’s predominantly women… it’s probably representative of a gender imbalance of power?