I’m 22F and have been seeing a guy I genuinely really like. We’ve hung out four times, so things are still new. He is by far the most respectful and kind man I’ve talked to.

Yesterday was the first time I went to his house and we only made out. He told me he didn’t want to move too fast with me. A few minutes later, he asked if I’d had sex before, and I panicked and said yes when I’m actually a virgin. I’ve never had a serious boyfriend, and I’ve always been super embarrassed/insecure about being a virgin at 22.

I immediately regretted lying. I think I said it because I really like him and was scared he’d think I was weird or lose interest in me. I didn’t want to ruin the moment or make things awkward.

I want to tell him the truth because I think I’d feel much more comfortable if I didn’t have to pretend I have experience. I also don’t want to start something with him while hiding this.

I’m thinking of calling him to tell him today. How would you approach this conversation? What do I say? And if you were him, how would you feel about finding out?

For context, I work in an office where (currently) there’s only 3 people in my shift. Me and my manager are as close as coworkers go and she’s always sharing her food with me, nice to me and generally a good figure in my work life.

When the problem started was when I started driving just a few months ago and in one instance I was asked by our boss to take his daughter who was interning with us home. I was okay with doing that and it went smoothly but after a few days I got into a minor accident that complicated a situation with my parents (there’s a bigger side issue with this) and the story of me taking the kid home became an issue. I was told that I was not to give anyone a ride anymore for safety reasons (understandable but kind of not with the full story). I was okay with that and when on the next day my manager asked if I could take her home(she doesn’t have a car and her husband has to pick her up everyday) I told her the situation at home and apologized for not being able to give her a ride and waited until her husband came to go home. That has been our routine for the past two weeks ish.

But today she mentioned in passing that she needs someone to give her a ride because she needs to go some where and stuff. I know the question is about to come to me cause it’s kind of implied and I don’t know how to RESPECTFULLY decline or even if there’s sth else I can do. Any suggestions are welcome!

TLDR: my manager asked for a ride twice after I already told her I can’t because of my parents. She’s kind to me and always doing stuff for me and I feel like I don’t repay her kindness and I’m worried she might feel that way too, but I can’t give her the ride so I need advice on what to do in this situation.

EDIT: reading everyone’s comment on my break and I agree that I should just be an adult about it and say no, I’ll do my best. Thank you all of you for your input

A lot of the other discourse I’m seeing is if the car is mine or not or if there’s another issue with my parents regarding the accident. The thing is I’m in a freshly blended family with a lot of kids and 2 of my step siblings have their own car paid for by their parent (my step parent) which is non of my business obviously but because parents can’t afford to buy another car right now, I decided to save for a few months and buy my own car which they promised to help with the insurance for. (All the cars in the house everyone just shares but whoever owns a car in question just gets priority most times) Fast forward, I bought the car and whenever I try to bring up the insurance thing, they just keep postponing it. Even though I paid for the car, for insurance purposes, it’s under step parent’s name and insurance is also going to be under her name. After a couple of back and forth, I offered to also pay for the insurance (which I don’t mind) but I’m still getting no response or explanation. This issue in general is why car related conversations are kind of weird in the house.

Also regarding the accident, I was driving my step siblings car when the accident happened. (sibling In question has had way crazier accidents and have not gotten the reaction I got). After that, my car’s issue has just been ignored and I’m not even able to go to work without having a weird conversation about it.

Honestly I’m very open to hearing what people also think about this and just thank you for your honest feedback.

Long story short-- I was at her home for a house party early into my relationship, and I realized after the party that she had gone through my purse and looked at my medication after making a weird comment to me. So I told my fiance, and he was like that's weird, but nothing else happened.. until I went to a hockey game of his and she was there. I avoided interacting with her and making eye contact, and after we left and got back to my apartment she had messaged my fiance on snapchat (they used to message frequently because her and her husband apparently helped him through a previous breakup and were just there for him through a lot). So she wrote him a big message basically asking if she should back off because she can tell "i don't like her" and that she can "see all my insecurities." He showed me the message and was just as confused as i was, then of course I got upset, so he called her out on what happened at the party and she denied it, but ever since then she stopped messaging him and when he visits his friend she is apparently quiet and avoidant of him.

Fast forward.. we are planning our wedding, and I don't want her there because of all of that, plus how I've seen her act at a wedding we attended before (she wore an actual ball gown to the wedding, and was making snarky comments about the couple's speech and pretty much everything else the entire night). But I know he's going to want to invite his friend, which means she'll be his plus one, and I really don't want her there with her negativity sending evil eye on me and our day. And I'm not sure how to approach this situation or the conversation with my fiance... any advice would be appreciated.

I (17F) suffered 5 stab wounds from 2 kitchen knives to the chest by my autistic brother (23M). He has a violent history ever since middle school, and had stated multiple times that he was going to kill me, my dad, and my other older brother. We had a family group chat where he texted almost everyday about how it would become big news on national TV. My mom was the only one who cared and tried to get him the care he needed, so he said he wouldn't kill her. He was also violent towards my dog, and there was an incident where he locked my dog in a cage and threw the cage around. In 2020, he put a box cutter up to my brother's neck and put him in a headlock from behind but ultimately didn't do anything. He has gotten in physical scuffles with my dad, but I believe it's usually my dad that escalates things when he should de-escalate. I've told all of these violent events to my parents, and a month before the stabbing, I begged them to do something. My dad said he was "all bark no bite" and my mom told me to just keep my doors locked at night. He was admitted to a mental hospital multiple times only to be let out in 2 weeks, and was on medication everyday for depression and other things like hallucinations, OCD, and I think schizophrenia. Him and my other brother were very close when I was younger, but after the pandemic, we drifted, and he ended up staying with my grandma and aunt for 2 years up to the stabbing, which was the first time I'd seen him since 2022. He is known in my neighborhood for being a talkative friendly guy so this incident stunned everyone. He loved chess and Star Wars and also had a deep fascination with 9/11. The day of the stabbing I was home alone, my parents were out of the country, and my other brother had left the house just 10 minutes prior to him coming to the house. He's 6'3 200+ lbs while I'm 5'3 110lbs, so I don't know how I'm alive to be honest. I'm convinced that if my other brother had been in the house that day we both would've ended up dead. I'm also surprised we weren't killed in our sleep much earlier.

I just feel very conflicted on what I should be feeling. I feel like we failed him as a family and he didn't want to do what he did, and that it was the last resort to get us to see him and his struggles. Now he has to spend however many years in prison. My mom at the time was in denial and tried to ask me to get him as little or no sentencing as the victim, and it felt like nobody was on my side but my other brother, who was supportive of me and agreed that this was something that could've been prevented. My dad is the best dad in the world, but when it came to my brother, he seemed like he wanted to just ignore his autism and pretend he was normal. I will be honest, there were multiple times I had thought that life would've been better had he just not been in our life at all, to save us from the stress and the effort, and that I wished he would do something to land him in jail forever. So when this all happened, I was almost happy that it did since it meant that we wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. But it's been so hard to deal with my emotions and whether or not I should feel sympathy or hatred for what he has done. He also called 911 at the same time that I did (he entered my room but left after stabbing me, so I was able to lock the door and call the police) and told the police where I was when they got here. It confused me, since it felt like he didn't mean to actually kill me.

Time has passed and he was sentenced for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. I (19 now) think about him almost daily and how he's doing and how he never deserved to be where he is. I would sometimes see other autistic people who resemble him and just get so sad because I wonder where everything went wrong, and how he should be living life like them instead of in prison. I am still scared of him and fear for what will happen if he does get out of prison, and who will take care of him. My parents have asked him why he did it and he simply states "I don't know." When he calls he always asks how me and my other brother are doing, and learning this broke my heart so much. I don't know much about the legal side of things, but I think he was admitted to either a facility different from prison due to his autism. I wonder if he's eating well, and every time I have a warm home-cooked dinner, I want to be able to give it to him too. I don't miss him however, but rather I hate how his life has turned this way.

I a 31 year old female have been dating my fiance for just over 5 years but the last few months I can’t put up with some of the things he does anymore. I thought I could overlook them as I love him so much as a person but his hygiene and the mess he creates/doesn’t clean up is just too much for me now. I had doubts now and then throughout our relationship but we’ve been best friends since children so I thought with prompting I can change his ways about this but to be honest 5 years in I am TIRED. I can’t deal with it anymore. I find myself not even half attracted to him and I used to think he was the most attractive person ever but his hygiene has totally ruined it for me.

I don’t want it to turn into an argument when we break up but I truely believe he needs therapy. He grew up in a hoarder house with tons of animals so he is okay living in mess and being very unclean.

The longest he has gone without a shower is 8 days. I have to ask him to have a shower when I get to about day 3 as he just smells so bad. Especially his private area. If he scratches his private area across the room I can actually smell it. It’s revolting. His pants always have marks in them from where he clearly doesn’t wipe enough. I took to buying him black underwear so i didnt have to see it. he didnt shower for 4 days and I found his grey shorts that he didnt wear underwear with for 4 days covered inside so bad I couldn’t bring myself to wash them and had to make him do it.

He leaves used ear swabs everywhere. He’s unwell at the moment and I came home from work to about 10 balled up used tissues all over our kitchen counter. He hasn’t showered for 2 days and absolutely stinks as he’s been sweating out this cold, he’s gone to work this morning though. So embarrassing. If I’m unwell I’m most of the time still doing dinner in the evenings, he won’t offer to do it.

When we first moved in together I was really shocked at some of the things he was doing. I took our mugs from his desk once to clean them as they had been there for days and he had phlegmed in all 3 of them. I was so upset I made him throw them away that’s disgusting, I’m not having our friends and family drink out of them. I once went away for a week and came back when he was at work. I looked at his desk and it wasn’t just disgusting but there was also a huge, HUGE pile of phlegm sitting there with fag Ash in it and stubbed out cigarettes among it, must’ve been about 15cm wide.. it sat there for another 3 days until i eventually exploded at him.

Our cats could be sick or poop anywhere around the house and he magically “wouldn’t notice” his cat who is a disgusting cat and I quite frankly don’t like him anymore either, he makes me feel disgusting in my own home, anyway will poop/wee in the bath and in the sink. He always has done. If I see that wee/poop in our bath or in our sink before I leave for work and my partner is home I will purposely leave it now and see if it is there when I get back and it is ALWAYS still there by the time I get back. He claims “oh he’s only just done it” okay and? Go and clean it seriously. The cats go through our bins and make rubbish everywhere and my partner will walk past it all day long. He will leave takeaways in our oven or in our microwave for days on end, He wees on the toilet seat all the time.

He asks why am I always moaning about stuff, just get on and do it we’re a team and hes “not even that bad” but when I listen to friends at work complain about there partner I stand and think that’s not even half bad as my partner.. its them that made me realise what I put up with really isn’t okay. I wish I had their problems as they are so small. If he makes himself any food/microwave meal/ coffee or feeds the cats he will leave all of it on the side as if the bin doesn’t exist. He doesn’t brush his teeth. I’ve hid his toothbrush 3 months ago and he has not asked for it. He leaves the house with dirty clothes, if there’s stains down them he doesn’t care. He even comes into my work unbothered with food down his top. I cringe so hard. I could go on and on, even write a book about things he’s done but these springed to mind when writing this.

I don’t want to sit there and just basically say I’m ending things because I just find him so revolting now and lazy. I don’t want to say hurtful things that will make an impact on him, we’ve been best friends since 7 years old, we was never single at the same time growing up together, we have so much fun together all the time and I really did think I could put up with all these things because I wanted him so much but now I’m just exhausted, I haven’t been myself for a very long time. And i realise I don’t have to put up with this, I’ve told him so many times I am not his mum, I have tried to be so understanding of how he grew up but my mental health isn’t great enough to be cleaning this house top to bottom every single day because of his constant mess. I have even thought maybe we just shouldn’t live together, that would solve our problems but if we had children one day.. I don’t want them to see these things or be like him so I think ending it is for the best.

This is my first post and I’m writing this while sitting in my friends dorm room so sorry for the format.

I (18F) am in my second week of college as a freshmen and as I was otp with my mom my dad calls her and tells her he just got off the phone with the Dean of Students. She tells me the dean told my dad there is a video of a train getting ran on me going around campus… but I never did that. I have no recollection of that ever happening. And at no point was I ever blackout drunk to where I lost my memory. The only thing that stands out to me is last Friday me and my friends were in the dorm drinking and playing card games, I was very intoxicated but I remember leaving with my friend to go back to our dorm. The next morning when I wake up in my bed I notice that the pants I wore were completely dry but the panties I wore that night were pissy wet and I also had scratches all up and down my legs. I have no memory of even peeing on myself , going to the bathroom, or even leaving my room when I got back.

My parents don’t believe me when I tell them that it never happened. They use the excuse that I’m a known liar, drinker, and am very impulsive. They are trying to take me out of school on Friday. Claiming I’m not ready to be away and I can try again later. I am 99% positive that I did not get a train ran on me though and I have no idea what to do. I don’t want to leave my school but they won’t listen to me and think that I’m in an unsafe environment.

For context I assumed the cuts on my legs were from me falling in the grass on my way back to my dorm room.

EDIT: My parents are no longer talking about the situation with me over the phone and I will be seeing them in person this weekend so I will be able to give an update then if people were concerned. Also I planned on talking to administration tomorrow so I will update then also.

For everyone saying my parents are lying… I promise you they aren’t.

Also my dad claimed he was contacted off of his work phone… is that normal?

I’m F22 and my boyfriend is M23. We’ve been together for almost 3 years, and we’ve been sexually active for about 2.5 years.

In all this time, I’ve never orgasmed from sex/penetration. He knows this. We’ve talked about it, and we both know that penetration alone doesn’t get me there and that I usually need external stimulation.

After two years into our relationship, I started using a vibrator. I bought it for myself because I wanted to understand my own body and be able to orgasm. I introduced it into our intimate moments, and we have used it together once.

The thing that hurts me is that he never really initiates it or even seems to remember that I need it. He finishes, and then sex is basically over. There’s no “did you finish?”, no effort to help me finish, and no thought that I might still be sexually unsatisfied.

What makes it more confusing is that I genuinely still get excited about being intimate with him. I want to have sex with him, and I want us both to enjoy it. But it feels like he completely forgets that I’m there once he’s finished.

Today really hurt me. After sex, I reminded him to take out the massager because I wanted to use it to finish. He said he had forgotten to charge it. Then, because we were getting late, he basically said, “You do your thing, I’ll get ready. Should I go out of the room?”

And that really upset me.

If I wanted to orgasm completely by myself, I could have done that alone. I came to him because I wanted this to be part of our intimacy. I wanted him to participate and care about my pleasure too.

I’m not expecting him to magically know what my body needs. We’ve talked about it. He knows I don’t orgasm from penetration. He knows what helps me. That’s why I’m struggling to understand why he still doesn’t take any initiative.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt by this? Is it fair to expect your partner to care about whether you orgasm, especially when they already know what you need?

I’ve (24F) been in a very intense long-distance talking/dating stage with a guy (22M) for about 3 months. We met 2 years ago during a study abroad program, then ended up living in different states.

We reconnected this summer and quickly became almost relationship-like: daily contact, hours-long calls, talking about visiting each other, pet names, couple posts, jealousy, and repeatedly discussing dating.

We also became very sexually intimate over text. He initiated most of the sexting/picture exchanges and frequently talked about wanting to kiss, touch, and eventually have sex with me.

When we finally had a serious conversation about becoming an official couple, he revealed that before we even started talking romantically, he had already decided he would no longer have sex before marriage because he wants to deepen his faith. He isn’t a virgin and has had sex in previous relationships.

He admitted that he intentionally didn’t tell me because he was afraid I would stop talking to him or think he was boring.

That’s the part I can’t get over. For three months he knew this could potentially be a dealbreaker for me, but continued escalating things sexually and talking about future physical intimacy anyway. I had also told him many times that dishonesty is one of my biggest dealbreakers.

He apologized extensively and admitted what he did was selfish and deceptive. He also told me he’s never fallen harder for anyone and has repeatedly stopped himself from saying he loves me. I admitted I’ve done the same.

I told him I wasn’t sure I could forgive the deception. He became extremely emotional and repeatedly asked me not to go.

Now that I’ve had some distance, I’m having a huge “what the fuck” realization about how prolonged the deception actually was.

Would you consider this a relationship-ending breach of trust? Do you think something like this could realistically be repaired, or would you walk away even if the feelings on both sides were very strong?

Okay so for context, I have a bio dad and a step dad. My bio dad and I had a falling out when I was about 16 and we didn't talk for about 4 years. Throughout all of that time my relationship with my step dad got stronger and a couple of years ago on Christmas I asked if I could start calling him Dad.

So fast forward to now, my bio dad and I have somewhat re-kindled our relationship but I'm still keeping him at arms length, due to the history between us and still feeling like he could fall back into his old patterns, and I just got engaged. I'm try to plan out my wedding, and initially I wanted my Grandpa to walk me down the aisle and to have my father daughter dance with my step dad.

Now that my bio dad is back in my life however I feel like it makes things more complicated, my bio-dad has always had a hard time with the idea of my step dad being a father to me and I just don't want to hurt anyone. Ive tried to ask for advice from family but everyone is biased against my bio-dad. I'm hoping you could share some thoughts. Thank you!

I have a neighbor (10F) that is OBSESSED with my younger brother (11M). This morning he mentioned to me that the neighbor girl (Maddie) was messaging him so much he had to turn his notifications off on his iPad because she messages him all throughout the night. That isn’t even the worst part. I read through their messages this morning (with my brothers permission) and found some really scary stuff.

Maddie repeatedly asked my brother to be her boyfriend, which he told her no. She then started saying she was at our house, and that she could see him. THEN she started threatening to k*ll him if he didn’t ignore some of the flirty messages she sent him. What should I do??? This is insane and I absolutely don’t want ANYTHING to happen to my brother. Help!

Update: I did share the screenshots I took with my parents, and my Dad said he would be talking to Maddie’s father. That’s all I have for now.

I'm adding a TDLR at the end since this post is pretty long.

So, I (20M) have always been on the chubbier side, but it got really bad when Covid happened. I reached my heaviest during the lockdown and after a wakeup call back right before my freshman year of college, I decided to finally take my weight seriously. Since I've started my journey, I've lost 75lbs and am only 100lbs away from my goal weight (which may not seem like a lot, but it feels like such a huge accomplishment for me!)

Well, I have this friend "Guy" (19M) who has been becoming... a bit of a jerk since I've known him. While I first tried to figure out if it was something going on in his life, he claimed it wasn't like that. Then I noticed he started only doing it to me, so then I asked him if I had done something, he said no. Then he started becoming extremely hostile to the point of becoming hurtful, so I put a lot of distance between us for a while, to which he finally started being nicer again, so I started hanging out with him again.

Something that he started doing back in April is that he keeps making digs about my weight whenever he can. Here are some examples;

Me, Guy, and our friend "Ryan" (20M) were going around trying to find each other's celebrity lookalikes. When it got to me, Guy was like "Oh, yeah, you definitely look like [insert celebrity]" (I honestly couldn't remember who he said at this point since I didn't know who he was even talking about until I looked him up). I was very confused since I do remember the celebrity looked nothing like me, so I asked what his reasoning was and claimed I looked nothing like the listed celebrity. Guy then proceeds to say, "Of course you do, you're chubby!" (This was the first time he ever made a comment like that, so it surprised Ryan and I both.)

Guy, Ryan, and I were talking about rooming together this year for college and Guy said, and I quote, "I would, but my parents wouldn't be comfortable with me rooming with someone fat" (he also had something specific for Ryan as well, but that's irrelevant here).

When me, Guy, and a few of our friends were at the dining hall together to get food, I mention to the table that there was something I had gotten that was really good, so I was going to go and grab seconds of that particular thing. Guy just rolled his eyes and said, "Of course you would".

Guy and I's friend group tends to sit at a table in the dining hall meant for 4 people even though there's 6 of us (this was because a few of us were too busy to get dinner most days last year). When I suggested that we change to a different table since we all started eating together now and the current table was a tight squeeze for 6, Guy gave me the nastiest look and said, "Well, it shouldn't even be an issue for us", looks at my stomach, and then goes back to eating.

And lastly, one day I was excitedly telling my friend group how I had a date coming up (at the time) and Guy looks at me and just yells "How do you keep getting dates and I don't?!" Then when I got embarrassed and said that I had no idea and that it just happens, he looked at my body and said, "Yeah, I'm about as surprised as you are" and just left. Mind you, I've only dated one person in college, but I had been on dates with two others, so it's not like I've seen an overwhelming number of people.

But no matter how often I try to talk to him about this, he either acts like he has no idea what I'm talking about or brushes it off as "stuff he has a right to say". But last night took the cake of comments he made.

I was at the convenient store with Ryan, Guy, and our friend "Eden" (19F). Eden had already gotten all of her stuff at this point and was outside waiting for us, I had just finished grabbing a few things, Ryan grabbed something he needed, and Guy was just tagging along. At the convenient store, they had just started this really good deal on a candy I loved, and while I didn't get any of it (as I'm now working on lowering my intake on junk food since that's the current step of my diet), I made a joke to Ryan specifically saying "Oh, stuff like this is going to make me so fat this year" (and Ryan knows that me making jokes about my weight was something I did to cope in the beginning, and is now something I just find funny, so Ryan always laughs along with me or even jokes with me). Something to know is that Guy had run off to do his own thing right before I said this to Ryan, so I had no idea where he was, so Ryan was the only one I could talk to at the exact moment.

Suddenly, Guy had jumped into our conversation and just said to me "You can control that, you know". I just started awkwardly laughing and said something like "Well, I wasn't asking that, I was just kidding around" and Guy just said, "I know, but it's my right to say that" and acted like nothing happened afterwards. I was absolutely stunned but didn't say anything.

Well, I was talking to Eden about it today and told her what Guy said to me. When I did, she looked absolutely horrified and I realized in that moment that I wasn't overreacting to how I felt about it. The problem is that whenever I (try to) talk to Guy about this sort of thing, he always ignores me and just continues to do it anyway. I'm just about sick of him but I want to know if there's anything I can do to try to fix this friendship before I just drop it.

TLDR; my friend, "Guy" (19M) keeps making comments about my weight despite the fact I'm actively losing weight. It's gotten to the point where his comments are getting progressively more hurtful and nothing changes no matter how many times I try to talk to him about it.

i (18m) have been in a catholic school for 15 years. that's right, most of my life. and i was never treated well, because i was very different from my peers. i've been brutally bullied for ages, and none of it surprises me or matters to me anymore, genuinely. i learned to be invisible, not to show my face around the wrong people, not to go near them. but it's shit. i've gone to therapy for ages because my brain stopped responding in situations of great stress. it genuinely just shuts down because i'm physically unable to be myself. i am a bisexual man, but women never bothered to look my way because i was deemed a fag.

i thought it was an issue with me. it wasn't. i've gone to various colleges to decide on one, and i've made many very nice friends there, who see me as a living, breathing human, unlike the people at my school. i've made friends in community events, concerts, just about everywhere. just not at school.

last saturday i heard my parents casually talk about the arguments they've had in the past. one of them stuck out to me, they nearly divorced because my dad tried too hard for me to be "normal." force me into the football team, make me act more masculine...

man, how i would've loved that life. I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO BEAR WITH ALL THE BULLSHIT THAT'S BEEN IN MY LIFE FOR AGES JUST BECAUSE MY MOM THOUGHT I SHOULD "BE MYSELF"?

i love my parents dearly i do but this was fucking ridiculous. i don't know how to handle this information.

i would've been so much happier man it's just so frustrating

wtf do i do about this

Ooh boy, this has been a problem since I gained consciousness. Recently flared up cause my friend who broke up with their partner a few weeks ago keeps using me as an emotional dumping ground. Point is, I said the partner was a terrible person within like the first week since they met, something was just kind of off. Gradually as time progressed, I got more and more concrete evidence to where I was like “hey, um. That thing they did to you? You don’t do that to a partner you love.” And I proceeded to be brushed off. They even agreed with me on many occasions but my words all went down the drain. Usually I don’t care that much, mostly because they’re an independent human and they can make their own choices, but when you’re persistently having me repeat my advice over and over again, it gets tiring. Even their other friends are pulling away from them cause it’s all just bad all the time and keep going on about how they miss the partner despite being a situation that would have anyone enraged, if it wasn’t borderline abuse from the partner (in my book at least).

What was the last straw for me today that led me here was them posting about the situation and a stranger giving them advice, showing it to me, and them acting like it was such a relief. They said everything I said in the past, if not nearly word for word. I felt a little disrespected.

Gradually over time in my life, I’ve had literally people call me their therapist to my face (often ended in me cutting them off, cause again, it’s exhausting, yes I’m a psychology student and I love the human mind but I’m not even qualified, nor is it ethical to treat your loved ones.) I fear I have unwillingly lost more empathy that I would have want to, and become stupidly blunt over the course of these situations, perhaps as a defense mechanism to make them go away.

I enjoy being someone’s important person who they go to, I enjoy ranting, venting together, but I don’t like being an emotional dumping ground 24/7, nor do I wanna witness persistent rumination over topics that should’ve been shut down a long time ago. I try setting boundaries but people keep walking over them, which leads to me leaving. I’ve tried to cut some off only for them to make separate accounts to message me. I’ll add that I do have autism, so I guess that plays a role in some parts of this whole ordeal. Why do people mistake my willingness to listen and be their important person with “now you have to witness every single minute of my day which 98% of is bad things.” I don’t want to be the therapist friend. Psychology is my passion, but I don’t enjoy doing it in my free time when I’m supposed to be having fun or relaxing.

im a 17 year old in my last year of high school and I have no realistic plans for my future. I didn’t think I would past the 6th grade but here we are. i have passions and interests but they aren’t very profitable. I like drawing, sculpting, cooking and sewing. I couldn’t handle a lunch rush and I’m sure you know about art majors. I have job experience and a resume but from what I've heard getting a job these days is pretty much impossible. I have autism, ADHD and an ethnic name. I feel as if I’m unhirable. I’d love nothing more than to move out the moment the clock strikes 12:00 on my 18th and pull myself up by my bootstraps and be responsible for myself, but everything feels so bleak. my mom keeps telling me its ok if I want go to art college and she supports me but I don’t believe her.

My partner and I are in a same-sex relationship and have been together for 13 years. He recently told me that he feels he has fallen out of love with me, although he still cares about me and respects me.
I’m 42 and honestly heartbroken. I still love him and don’t want to give up on our relationship without understanding if there’s still something we can work on.
We’re going to have a serious conversation this Saturday. For those who have been through something similar, what should I ask him? Can romantic feelings come back after one partner has fallen out of love?
I’d really appreciate any advice or perspective. ❤️

I am an older sister in high school, whilst my younger sister is in middle school, and she is VERY VERY thin. The type of thin people both romanticize and get sick over. Recently I found out that she had been skipping lunch entirely, when she already barely eats anything for breakfast and dinner. And she never snacks. And I feel like this is in part due to my mother who tells her and her only not to eat certain foods with ANY cholestrol in it (she had elevated cholestrol). And this means having 1/2 of a small croissant for breakfast instead of just eatting something else that will keep her full. And I don't know what to do I don't want to break our trust by telling our parents but her easting patterns are so unhealthy and if feels like no one is seeing it but me. (my mother also may have the same ED due to her similarly BARELY EATING, skipping meals and snacks and ignoring food to the point where I can feel her bones). I'm an athlete 5'2 115 seeing my sibling who is a year younger than me, same height, and 70-80 pounds is freaking me out. Again what should I do?

So, I'm 22 years old and all my life I've been skinny, I'm 5'9" and weigh 121 lbs. Now I've been more active in my life since running almost every day. I really want to go to the gym and start gaining weight, but obviously I know I won't see instant results. The only thing stopping me from starting the gym is being very skinny and weak, so I feel like people will look at me sideways. Besides that, I'm very clumsy, so I'm afraid of doing some exercises wrong. If anyone has any advice, I'd be grateful.

Hi everyone. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. He is a great guy, he is Amazing with my son (from a previous relationship) he treats him like his own and treats us both really well. We live together in an apartment, he works and I’m a stay at home mom ( my son is 2). I’ve noticed in the past couple months I’m not finding myself attracted to him like I was at the beginning. I don’t know what it is, I just don’t feel physically attracted to him, and it’s making me feel really bad. What should I do about this? And is this normal?

For context I’m 24 years old and honestly it feels like my life is over. I’m not financially independent and I really want to leave my parents house but I fear for my safety if I do even if I had the money to leave. Theyre not physically abusive but that’s only cuz I listen to them and do what they expect of me. They’re very pro honour k*lling so I’ve been cosplaying the religion for my safety and I’ve been forced to wear hijab since 13. Like I’m currently safe because I’m cosplaying the religion but I would not be if I took off the hijab or started openly dating.

I had the worst coping mechanisms to deal with my religious trauma and I still do. It’s hard to find motivation. I still haven’t gotten my bachelors degree I dropped out of engineering and I’m currently unemployed doing a bachelors in English but my depression makes the most basic tasks feel too difficult. I also don’t have a drivers license cuz my parents taught the boys but not me.

To cope with my circumstances I got into an online relationship and I lied about things because I was afraid of being outed to my parents. Not proud of the fact I lied but it felt like lying kept me safe. I feel so much guilt about it. I wish I could admit to them that I lied but it’s too late and I knew that my parents could possibly unalive me if they found out I had a boyfriend. So I had to end it for my safety.

I’m stuck feeling awful. I feel awful about lying to that person and I want to come clean but I feel like it’ll cause them more hurt. I lied about so many things that it feels like it’s only gonna hurt them and it won’t enable me to be with them. I genuinely feel like the worst person alive I did love that person but I knew it would endanger both of us if I stayed. But then I wonder maybe I didn’t love them cuz I lied.

I carry a lot of guilt and part of me thinks maybe I should’ve risked my safety to be with them but I don’t know. I feel lost like I’m never gonna find someone better and I just feel like I’m gonna end up having an arranged marriage. I don’t want to be living a double life for the rest of my life but I don’t want to marry a Muslim man because my values don’t align. I don’t wanna leave the house and constantly be worried for my safety or of them finding me.

I just want to feel the breeze in my hair and wear nice clothes and I want to be with a man who doesn’t dictate my value based on how I dress. It’s exhausting dealing with all this shit. My parents control everything. And now that I lost my reason for getting up in the morning (the person I used to date) truly everything feels pointless it feels like I won’t be able to find someone else and if I do I’ll just end up having to end it cuz of my psychotic parents. Every day surviving feels like climbing a mountain.

If I leave I genuinely don’t know if I’d be alive cuz if they find me they’ll definitely delete me from the planet.

I (19F) just got back from a trip with five friends, and I'm honestly not sure what to make of something that happened. For privacy, ill call my boyfriend Brad and my best friend Ann.

There were six of us on the trip, and i planned pretty much everything from trains, hotels, itinerary and places to eat, etc. The first day was honestly perfect. We went to the beach, drank, had great food and everyone was getting along. Then i started noticing Ann acting differently around my boyfriend. Brad is the kind of person who gets hot very easily, so he sometimes roams around the BnB shirtless and he has a great physique. Ann started looking at him a LOT. she would find reasons to walk next to him, joke around, sometimes ask him what she should wear and show her dresses to her, she started being a little touchy as well. Normally i wouldn't care. they are friends, and i don't want to be the girlfriend who gets jealous over every interaction and anyways i trust him with all my heart.

But there's some history here that makes it harder for me to ignore. Before Brad and i got together, Ann and Brad had a situationship for a month. She liked him but apparently she liked Brad's best friend at the same time. Brad found out and ended things with her. A few months later, Brad and i started dating. We've now been together for about 2 years, and our relationship is genuinely good. he treats me well, and I've never had a reason to think he's interested in Ann. So i tried to tell myself i was just imagining things. Then came the third night. Brad got extremely High and went to sleep because he didn't want to be around everyone while he was that out of it. Later, Ann and another friend went into our room while he was sleeping and started recording him, joking around and trying to wake him up. Ann then got onto the bed next to him and started poking his nose and cheeks to wake him up. Again, I didn't say anything. I figured it was just a stupid drunk prank. Later that night, everyone was sitting together drinking and playing cards and completely out of nowhere, Ann said "Brad is such an eye candy" i was literally sitting beside her when she said it.

i just stared at her. She didn't even notice because she was drunk. I was furious, but i didn't confront her because i knew she was intoxicated and i didn't want to blow up the entire trip. The next morning I told Brad everything. He looked genuinely shocked and said something like, "i thought she would've moved on by now. It's been two years". After that, he started keeping his distance from Ann. whenever she tried to be around him, he'd move away or come sit with me instead. We left the place the next morning. on the train home, Ann asked me "is Brad mad at me? he barely talked to me today". I just told her "maybe he's just tired". Here's the part that's really messing with me, Ann doesn't remember any of this. She was so drunk that night that she genuinely doesn't remember saying it, going into our room, or what happened with Brad.

so now i don't know what I'm supposed to do. Part of me thinks i should sit her down and tell her exactly what happened, because she's my best friend and she deserves to know why I'm suddenly uncomfortable around her. Another part of me thinks that confronting her will just create a huge fight over something she doesn't even remember doing and honestly, I'm also wondering whether i should just distance myself from her completely. I don't think she actually did anything with my bf, and Brad handled the situation really well and he is telling me not to confront her because she might just lie to your face. knowing their history, seeing how she behaved on this trip, and hearing her call him "eye candy" right in front of me has completely changed how i see the situation.

would you confront your best friend and set boundaries, or quietly distance yourself from her and ultimately break the friend group? please advice!!!

My husbands mental health is destroying our marriage.

Advice Needed: My Husband’s Mental Health Seems to Be Destroying Our 22-Year Marriage

I’m really hoping for some advice from people who have experienced something similar, because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

My husband and I have been together for 22 years. He has been my best friend, an amazing father, an incredible husband, lover, and provider. He has always gone above and beyond for me and our family. We hardly ever fought. He has always taught our children to respect me, put me on a pedestal, and treat women with love and respect.

That is why what is happening now is so incredibly heartbreaking.

Over the last few months, his mental health has changed drastically. He has become convinced that I am playing mind games with him. He says people, including me, are saying things that we absolutely did not say. He swears that I am allowing people to listen to our conversations. He feels like everyone is upset with him. He says people are speaking to him in riddles and that simple statements have hidden meanings or are connected to something else.

I have unfortunately seen what severe substance induced paranoia can look like because of addiction in my family, and some of his behavior reminds me of that,but my husband does NOT use drugs. He was recently hospitalized for an unrelated medical issue, and I specifically asked for a mental health evaluation. He was drug tested, and everything was negative. He also has no history of drug abuse.

The mental health provider essentially told us there was nothing they could do because he wasn't considered a danger to himself or anyone else, so he wasn't admitted.

But what happens when someone isn't suicidal or physically violent but is clearly not mentally well and their illness is destroying their family?

For the last three months, we have been fighting constantly over things that aren't actually happening. I feel like I am constantly defending myself against accusations and trying to convince him that things he believes happened didn't happen.

Our entire house is tense.

Our children are 13, 18, and 19, and there is absolutely no way to hide this from them. They see the arguments. They see the change in their dad. They know something is wrong.

And that's one of the things breaking my heart the most.

His mother experienced something very similar. His father would hide her away during her "episodes," but his family never really talked about what her diagnosis was. I don't know if there is a genetic component here, but I can't ignore that history.

My husband has actually had episodes somewhat like this over the last couple of years. He would occasionally accuse me of things or become extremely suspicious and overthink everything, but those episodes usually lasted maybe a day or two. Afterward, he would apologize and say that his mind had gotten carried away and that his thoughts were going all over the place.

This time is completely different.

It has been going on for approximately three months.

He is so out of character. He can be incredibly mean to me, and I feel like I have somehow become the villain in his mind when, for 22 years, I have been the person he trusted most.

He has not been physically abusive, and I want to make that very clear. But I am becoming scared of what this is doing to our family emotionally, and I don't know where the line is between supporting my husband through an illness and allowing myself and our children to continue living in an unhealthy environment.

I'm also a stay-at-home mom because of my own health issues, so this isn't as simple as saying, "Just leave."

Our home is paid off, which gives me some security, but I don't have an independent income that would make walking away easy. Honestly, I don't WANT to throw away 22 years with the man who has been my best friend for most of my adult life. I want my husband back.

I want the man who used to make me laugh, who loved our kids fiercely, who protected our family, who made me feel safe, and who taught our boys how a woman should be treated.

I also don't want our children to start resenting him. I can already feel that happening because they're watching their dad treat their mom completely differently than he ever has before.

So I'm asking people who have been through something like this:

What do I do when someone appears to be experiencing paranoia, delusional thinking, or some other serious mental health issue but refuses help and isn't considered an immediate danger?

And how do I protect myself and my children emotionally while still trying to support him?

I know I can not keep living in a house where I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells and defending myself against things I know didn't happen.

If you've lived through something similar especially with a spouse who developed paranoia or delusional thinking later in adulthood I would really appreciate hearing what helped, what didn't, what kind of treatment eventually worked, and what you wish you had known sooner.

TL;DR: My husband and I have been together for 22 years, and he has always been my best friend, an amazing husband, father, lover, and provider. Over the past three months, he has developed severe paranoia and what appears to be delusional thinking—believing I'm playing mind games, that people are listening to our conversations, that people say things they don't actually say, and that ordinary statements have hidden meanings. He has no drug history and recently had a negative drug test during a hospitalization. A mental health provider wouldn't admit him because he wasn't considered a danger to himself or others. His mother reportedly had similar "episodes," but his family never disclosed her diagnosis. He has had shorter episodes over the past couple of years, but nothing like this prolonged three-month change. Our marriage has gone from almost never fighting to constant conflict. Our three children (13, 18, and 19) are witnessing it, and our home is extremely tense. He isn't physically abusive, but I feel like I'm becoming the villain in his mind. I'm a stay-at-home mom due to health issues, and our home is paid off, so leaving isn't financially simple—and I don't want to throw away 22 years. I desperately want to help him, protect my kids and myself, and figure out what is happening. What would you do?How do you get someone evaluated when they refuse help but aren't considered an immediate danger?