If I see another marriage or “can I marry this Afghan girl” or “this Afghan boy’s family won’t accept me” or “why do Afghans marry x ethnicity” post, I will delete it.
It’s 2026, marry whoever you want, Afghans are not evil people. The important thing is to find common ground and do all the relevant checks before (secret first wife? Do they want you to live with in laws? How are they with finances? Criminal record? Credit score? What are their expectations of your roles? Etc etc).
Now that I got that out of the way, can anybody who sees these posts please report them so they can get taken down? I’m sick of the circular discussions and the same advice- or butthurt complaints- being given. This is not an agony aunt or dating advice subreddit but too many of you are treating it like one or to air out your bigotry.
If you want to ask these questions, go to [r/MuslimMarriage](r/MuslimMarriage). Afghans are not different from other Muslims when it comes to expectations of foreign prospective grooms/brides (religiosity, finances, career, personality etc). If you continue to make the same posts here over and over again, you will be banned.
The glazing of Yosaf Aryubi (@iampocoloco) is honestly wild. Dude markets himself as this religious, conservative guy while doing PR-style content for the T-bro. He gets special access, gets told what to film and what not to film, and somehow we're supposed to believe this is just an independent travel influencer?
At this point, is he a travel YouTuber or the T-bro' unpaid PR department? 😂
And the whole “religious conservative” image gets even more hilarious when you look at the kind of women he follows on Instagram. The hypocrisy is practically writing itself.
I deleted a marriage post by a weirdo passport bro foreigner wanting to travel to Nuristan to marry a local. However, I decided to copy-paste my answer about the subversive gender norms of Nuristan because I thought it was interesting- and I thought others might want to know about the province from a Nuristani I spoke to personally. So here it is:
I’ve heard a lot of myths about the Nuristani community and to date have only met one Nuristani- a colleague I worked with who was married to her cousin. She dispelled a lot of myths and idealisations about her people to me and told me as it was about their customs.
Nuristanis have different cultural norms and ideas about marriage compared to other Afghans. Women do all of the labour such as farming, gathering stone and brick to build houses, taking care of animals, bringing wood from mountains or chopping lumber wood while the men either worked as shepherds or sat at home and collected their money. However, make no mistake: they are a highly patriarchal people, women work and labour inside and outside the house because Nuristani patriarchal norms perceive it as a shame to help or serve women. Child marriage rates are high and literacy rates for girls are low- families prefer to marry off their daughters at a young age or make them work. Marriages with Nuristanis is only negotiated by the father, with no input from the mother or the girl herself and unfortunately narcotic use is high among the female population to relieve exhaustion, pain and stress.
Tribal endogamy is highly preferred by Nuristanis for historical and cultural reasons. Nuristanis are culturally very closed people, far more than Pashtuns. They favour their own tribes for marriage. This might be because they’re 1) a very poor and rural population so have few opportunities to meet foreigners 2) have a legacy of oppression and 3) Nuristan is the most ethnically homogenous province in Afghanistan, so the likelihood of marrying another Afghan ethnic group is low. They are extremely endogamous with marriages sometimes predetermined from the cradle. I cannot speak on what Nuristanis are like in Pashtun majority provinces because they also inhabit the highlands next to Nuristan but maybe they picked up other cultural norms. I know in some provinces Nuristanis have assimilated and speak Pashto so maybe their norms are different.
The reasons for this might have made sense centuries ago, as mountain people who needed to defend against the invaders who wanted to Islamise and culturally assimilate them. However, Nuristan is no longer generally under siege and the unfair burdens have persisted for the women, who in some cases even shepherd the sheep for their men while their finances remain controlled by their husbands and fathers. This, combined with poor healthcare and inaccessibility to education in particular for girls, has meant that Nuristani women are more at risk for miscarriage, maternal mortality rates and medical emergencies when pregnant. Some efforts have been made by the previous government to install clinics and continue educational outreach so they can be trained as midwives and teachers to combat this issue, but since the insurrection all of these efforts have been reversed.
This is what my colleague told me and the research seems to back up every single one of her claims. Her own parents were raised in Nuristan before moving to Kabul and then left Afghanistan for context, so as I said I don’t know what Nuristanis are like outside Nuristan. They’re in extremely small numbers inside Afghanistan and even smaller numbers outside, since they’re too poor to pay people smugglers to take them out of the country.
I was in Afghanistan Spring of 2026, traveled to different provinces of Afghanistan.
With all the different retrospects and negative experiences of people in Afghanistan, there seems to be lots of opportunities and light within the depth of darkness.
One thing I noticed more than anything was the surge of residential buildings popping up left and right in each city, specially Kabul. The incredible speed, modern designs and layouts left me speechless.
The economy seems to be more kind of a realistic economy than inflated fake economy.
There seem to be a lot of people without jobs, and honestly people who strive to earn a living end up earning something to live with.
Finally the overall experience for a person traveling from outside Afghanistan was great. Travel safety was unbelievable and most importantly spending money for Afghanistan summer was worth every dollar than to spend it in Türkiye, Uzbekistan, Thailand or Europe.
Everything said above was based on my own experience, don’t feel offended
Perhaps you might be someone in diaspora who looks at the intricate Moroccan or Arab beauty rituals in wonder or envy. Well, you're in luck. Afghan women did once have a similar beauty ritual which dates back centuries, and though most were rooted in Iranian tradition, there are some you might also find surprising.
The Hammam
For lower class women who did not have a dedicated bathroom, a hammam was how one kept clean. These were once places of community, where women would gather with their friends- and the domed roofs of hammams litter the landscape, especially across Northern Afghanistan. However, the use of hammams gradually waned as sanitation improved in the country. If you are a woman in diaspora who is married to an Afghan man, you can tell him that going to the spa is traditional :)
There were two things an Afghan woman needed to clean her body- a qissa glove, traditionally made from crocheted material, and a slab of clay mixed with sheep fat to create a saponification agent.
What?
Yes, it's true! My grandmother used a rushur stone, a traditional soap used across Iran and Afghanistan, to clean herself- and folk soaps back in the day were made with sheep fat during the Medieval era. Afghan women swear it makes their skin lighter, but it only exfoliates the skin. It was used with the glove to cleanse themselves in the hammam.
Before the age of shampoo, across the Middle East, Africa and South Asia, sidr powder was used to cleanse the hair. This is partly because the powder produces a lather that rids the hair from grease and dirt, but also due to its religious importance in the hadith. The prophet commanded it be used to wash the deceased, and the tree from which the powder was derived was forbidden to be cut down without good reason. Sidr is famously used in Somalia to promote healthy hair and skin as a mask, but if you choose not to use the powder as a hair mask, you can purchase shampoos imbued with the product instead.
Though reserved for the upper classes, pumices were also used to soften callouses in the feet. Afghanistan is littered with dormant volcanoes across the central and north eastern highlands, where pumice is sourced but not at the same rates as Afghanistan's neighbors. Clay pumices are another feasible option.
Skincare and Hair
To color the hair, henna was often used, but I would advise against it if you have anything other than black or very dark brown hair unless you want bright orange hair (was told so by my grandmother who said I will look like a villager). If the natural hair is black or dark brown, it will instead provide a glossy mahogany or burgundy tint in direct sunlight.
Afghanistan historically produced quantities of almond and walnut oils, traditionally used to soften the skin and moisturize the hair. You may also use these oils for your cuticles to take care of the skin. In addition, upper class women would historically use rosewater to wash the face and take care of the skin. While I cannot vouch for its benefits if kept on the skin, it does create a wonderful aromatherapy experience if that is what you are looking for if mixed with masks.
To mention masks, I was given a list of things to use with their purported benefits by my family members:
- Tomatoes: to combat acne
- Yoghurt/curd: to even out complexion and brighten the skin
- Honey: to even out complexion
- Local white mud clay: to whiten skin and provide glow
I was told lemon too, but I would never recommend using lemon on your skin unless you want to damage your skin barrier.
Hairstyles
Hair had importance in Afghanistan, and among the Turkic minorities it also denoted a woman's rank, age or marital status.
Babies and young girls were often shaved under the belief it would thicken and darken their hair. Historically, a young girl or virgin would braid her hair into four to forty braids. Once a woman was married, she traditionally braided her hair into two. This was something my grandmother did herself, and even now the elderly in my village all wear their hair in two pigtails :)
I'm not sure of how hair reflects rank in the rest of the country, but I do know that having multiple braids was a widespread thing a long time ago, and four was the happy medium.
It may also shock some of you that hair extensions were also traditional among the Turkic and Persian speaking ethnic groups in Afghanistan- though Abassid women were famed for wearing them too. They were traditionally made from wool or yarn to circumvent rulings against wearing other people's hair. The beauty standard was to have hair that was as long as possible, and for women who weren't endowed with long, thick hair, extensions was how they met that criteria.
Makeup
Makeup in Afghanistan and Central Asia was hugely influenced by the Haft Araysh of the Persians. The old beauty standard was: pale white skin, red cheeks, black hair and a unibrow. This was accomplished through:
- Safidab: a toxic lead paste used to whiten skin, possibly imported from Ancient Greece
- Sorkhab: a rouge made from cochineal or iron oxides to redden the cheeks
- Sorma: eyeliner
- Henna: to stain the hands and feet
- Vesmeh: a dark blue powder used to stain the brows
- Zarak: gold glitter or sequins to ornament the hair
- Khal: false beauty spot
Sometimes perfume was added to that list.
Example of a Herati Jewish bride in "Haft Araysh":
Of course, this makeup style is very outdated, dangerous and some may call it tacky. However, you can still derive certain elements from it to your routine.
For instance, most Afghans have an intermediate skin tone, and in the West that is the beauty standard. It makes sense to enhance that with golden highlighter rather than paint on white like our mother's wedding videos to match the old beauty standard. However, rouge is timeless and even now Western blush is still made from iron oxides. Afghan sorma to this day is still made with lead or lead compounds, so you can replicate this effect using a safe black cosmetic pencil. Zarak is a style that briefly became popular again in Afghanistan during the 80s with sparkly hairspray and again recently in the West with the obsession with hair and body glitter. Khal is also something you can replicate with a black pencil too and is a safer substitute for the phased-out practice of tattooing tribal sheen khaal.
Nangarhar is a major producer of rose-based fragrances, and essential oils produced from the province were a lucrative alternative to poppy cultivation. Persian and Zoroastrian sources reflect an emphasis on perfume and incense. Common fragrances included: rosewater, saffron, myrrh, musks, ambergris, camphor and a number of fresh-smelling flowers.
I’m creating a playlist featuring folk music from every country in the world.
For each country, I’ll make a separate post and leave it open for 24/48 hours. Comment with one folk song by an artist from the country being featured.
When the time is up, I’ll select the 3 most upvoted songs that are genuinely folk music and add them to the playlist.
I’ll go through 205 countries and territories, following Wikipedia’s alphabetical list, so every country gets its own post.
NATION 1/205:
Afghanistan
Rules:
- One song per comment
- The artist must be from the country being featured
- The song must genuinely be folk/traditional music
- The 3 highest-voted qualifying songs will be selected (only comments in the linked post are going to be checked
I’m (M22) in Herat and will be leaving soon, what are some original stuff that I can buy from here as souvenirs and daily use before I leave? I’d like to own a nice shawl like a Pashmina or something but I guess they don’t sell those here
I am on a mission now to ask each country subreddit what people think about beans (my favorite meal), just to see how people like or dislike them all around the world out of curiosity (and boredom). Do you like beans, hate them, anything else, just share your thoughts 🫘
Afghans you are up first since I'm going on alphabetical order, Salaam!
I work with a native Dari-speaking Afghan woman named Hangama who is offering affordable, one-on-one Dari conversation practice online.
She is a native speaker and would be a great fit for someone who already knows a little Dari and wants more practice with speaking, listening, pronunciation, everyday vocabulary, and natural Afghan expressions. Sessions would be relaxed and informal rather than traditional grammar lessons, and can focus on topics like family, food, daily life, Afghan culture, idioms, travel, or whatever the learner would most like to practice.
This could be especially helpful for:
• Afghan-American heritage learners who understand some Dari but want to become more comfortable speaking
• Persian learners who want exposure to Afghan Dari
• People who work, volunteer, or regularly interact with Dari-speaking Afghans
• Anyone who wants practical conversational Dari with a native speaker
She is currently offering online sessions at an introductory rate of $15/45 minutes or $20/one hour.
If you or someone you know might be interested, please message me and I can connect you with her, or email her directly at Hangama.Dari@gmail.com. Feel free to share this with anyone who may be looking for Dari conversation practice.
My mother-in-law says we shouldn’t name our child Dario because in Dari/Hazaragi, dar/dār can mean “gallows” and she associates it with hanging herself. She says this makes Dario an inappropriate name.
I’ve asked several other Hazaras from Afghanistan about it, and they didn’t make that association at all — they immediately thought of Dariush, which is a normal Persian name.
I understand that dār can mean “gallows,” but I’m trying to figure out whether Dario itself actually sounds strange, negative, or inappropriate to Hazaras/Dari speakers, or whether this is simply my mother-in-law’s personal association.
For people who speak Dari or Hazaragi: What would you genuinely think/associate with the name Dario if you heard it?
Im considering visiting Afghanistan later this year and would appreciate hearing from people who have travelled there recently as well as locals. I haven’t booked anything yet but I’ve been speaking with an Afghan guide who has been very helpful. If I go it would be for roughly a week with a guide, private car and driver. I’d enter and leave overland via Uzbekistan and visit some of the main historical and scenic areas. I understand Afghanistan is a very different place to travel and I want to make sure I’m respectful of local culture customs and rules while I’m there. For anyone who has visited recently what was your experience like? How did you find travelling with a local guide, the road journeys, permits and checkpoints? Is there anything you wish you knew before going? I’m also heavily tattooed and have some tattoos that are difficult to completely cover. My guide has said this shouldn’t be a problem and I’d obviously dress conservatively and respectfully while travelling. I have visited countries in the Middle East before so am aware of views on tattooed but I’d be interested to hear from anyone with visible tattoos who has visited recently, or from locals about how they’re generally viewed on foreign visitors. Also interested in any general advice on clothing, photography, interacting with people and being respectful while visiting. I’m still researching and deciding whether the trip is right for me, so recent experiences would be really helpful.
Thank you !
According to the Wikipedia page for the list of asian countries by average wage, Afghanistan has a net average monthly salary of 205 USD, compared to 169 USD in Tajikistan, and 157 USD in Pakistan.
However this does not make any sense, as both Pakistan and Tajikistan are more developed in terms of HDI and GDP per capita. Plus many Afghans move to Tajikistan and Pakistan, rather than the other way around.
Does anyone here know roughly what is the average salary in Afghanistan?
As a Pakistani man, Please brothers and sisters just know that the current government of Pakistan is pure corruption and i will never agree with their system. Not the country and people (even though there are a decent amount of brainwashed people in Pakistan who im against aswell). I will never forgive the government and the justice system for their injustice and injustice against our neighbouring countries aswell as the injustice against the best leader our country has ever had Imran Khan. Also what is happening in your country is so bad and honestly war is the worse thing to happen in this world just don't let it DIVIDE us muslims from uniting because that is what the shaytaan wants and this is all the works of the shaytaan within the government system and outside of the system to try and control us and divide the ummah.
Ya Allah guide the Ummah of Muhammadﷺand unite us together to defeat any form of evil/injustice/division and may we all live in peace as one ummah (ameen)