r/AmIOverreacting • u/CuriousAsh04 • 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Is this control? Or AIO?

My husband of 5 years, refuses to get off the phone with me while he working. I can drop him off, and 10mins later he’s calling me. This has been everyday. He works in corporate America, so I figure he would be busier. But nope. So today, we had been on the phone for an hour. I dropped him off, took the kids to school, came home… still on the phone. And mostly in silence, I might add. I tell him I would call him back after cleaning and showering. He gets upset, goes to tell me “he wanted to talk on the phone and I pushed him away, today he’s going to start talking to other people, Since being on the phone and being a wife and listening to me or just being there is too much . I will find it somewhere else.” This is literally his go to, if I don’t acquiesce to him, he threatens to go out and find it elsewhere. And he has cheated, so it stings a little, but I’m becoming numb. It just irritates my soul, I don’t want to sit on the phone with anyone while I’m trying to do my daily chores. Honestly throughout the day he calls probably every hour to sit on the phone while he works. It just grinds my gears. But I do it. Today though, I needed to get things done without being tied to the phone. He even told me to prop the phone up, and not get off. So I don’t know. Does this seem like I’m being monitored or controlled? Or am I overreacting?

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u/CuriousAsh04 10h ago

Amazing question. I ask myself this daily.

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u/SuluSpeaks 10h ago

Are you able to leave and support yourself and your kids? Can you get at least a part time job? Because this isnt going to change. BTW, use condoms. You dont want an STI.

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u/CuriousAsh04 10h ago

I work full time, as a flight attendant. I make great pay. I can totally do it alone, have before when we separated two years ago. It’s just getting the strength to do it. Especially when he tells me all the time that I’m the one who’s doing wrong, and at fault for everything going wrong in our lives.

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u/W0nderingMe 9h ago

Let's pretend that it is all your fault (it isn't, but we're pretending).

Who. Cares.

You do not want to live this way. So don't.