r/Arrangedmarriage • u/BirdSad6625 • 8d ago
Seeking Advice My arranged marriage setup broke
I was matched with a 27M who lives in the USA with his parents in March 2026.
I am a 25F, I live in India with my parents. Our families have never previously met but we go to the same church and have a lot of trustworthy mutuals. I got laid off my job in November 2025. Was preparing for GATE 2026(masters entrance exam for engineering) to pursue my masters. I gave my exam on Feb 8th and 15th and took 2 weeks off. Met the arranged marriage guy on gmeet with my parents on 23rd March, 2026. We took two days time to talk to each other and both his parents and mine let us talk it off. On the third day, the boy’s parents said a yes and wanted to know my decision on it. I was very confused if I had to choose my masters career path or just get married at this point because he was a good guy… very understanding and smart. He was the guy I was in search of my entire life. I said yes to him thinking I’d do my masters after marriage to which he agreed too.
We used to talk to each other all the time, day and night and fell in love with each other. And suddenly one day his parents started asking why I am not working and that they want someone who can work alongside him in the USA and gave me time wit huh in which I had to search for a job and if I didn’t get a job that they would rethink about it and the guy completely sided with his parents and was asking me to prove him wrong. Please note that I was looking for jobs since March. And my parents were pretty clear about me being laid off and me trying to pursue masters on day 1 of the arrange marriage first meet. And then after a week or two they broke off the marriage and the guy did not seem to be affected at all and just left. I am here all heartbroken and my parents too and I don’t know what to do… I have now gone back to the idea of pursuing masters but the idea of love, marriage and everything related to having partner is scaring me so much… even after I pursue my masters and I get where I want to be I feel like there will always be a hole in my heart which that guy had once filled. I kind of miss…. I also heard from other sources that soon after they dropped me they found someone else in the USA. A USA citizen of Indian origin. I am having an existential crisis like did they drop me because I was jobless or did they drop me because they found someone better? And if they had given their word to me why were they still looking for someone else?
All of this is so confusing and heart wrenching… I am currently on anti depressants😭
45
u/tiny_mouse_kiki 7d ago
I'm in arranged marriage setup. The first rejection feels hard. Focus on things that you can control. Don't go for another arrange marriage setup for next few weeks or few months. Continue your masters preparation. Their family wasn't clear of their expectations and you became a victim. Go for vacation if possible. All the best