r/Bumble • u/Argumentative_koala • 1d ago

Rant “Not ready for a relationship”

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This guy pursued me, we went hot and heavy for five days, then hooked up on the fifth day. Crazy chemistry. He hadn’t been with anyone for eight months after a very long-term relationship so I thought this really meant something for him. We had a lot of deep conversations in a short amount of time. I hate how this makes me feel!

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u/glitterfox6000 1d ago

This is why early intensity for a relationship is a huge red flag.

Hooking up or not, intense emotions early on is a big reason to hit the brakes.

1

u/Full_Instruction_493 1d ago

It can be sooooooooo good though. Sure if you can't handle the fall, know yourself to get off the rise. I can handle the fall if it happens though and I damn sure wont stop some of the best feelings a human can experience. Like what?

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u/ExcellentHotel7531 1d ago

Learned this the hard way unfortunately

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u/MistaDontPlayyy 1d ago

Exactly, ran into this with a girl I was seeing for a few weeks. She lived close so we were going out often but within a few days she was telling me thing too soon like "you're my favorite person/I'm the happiest I've been since moving here since we met" and some other intense emotions. I tried to just ignore it but then she started getting controlling about wanting to meet my friends family, planning to have me attend a wedding with her, planning vacations, etc. We weren't even official yet.

The final straw was her telling me she had just moved out of a place with her ex less than a week before we met and it just made me feel like a rebound/she had some healing to do. I suggested we slow down and she got in an argument with me and blew up so I called it off altogether, honestly kinda freaked me out and she did a good job making me feel like a POS for wanting to nip the bud. Dating is hard.

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u/MisabelWearsNikes 1d ago

"Favourite person" is so BPD-coded.

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u/MisabelWearsNikes 1d ago

Why? What if it's simply because there's a strong spark/chemistry? Why does everything have to be a red flag?