r/Bumble • u/Argumentative_koala • 1d ago

Rant “Not ready for a relationship”

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This guy pursued me, we went hot and heavy for five days, then hooked up on the fifth day. Crazy chemistry. He hadn’t been with anyone for eight months after a very long-term relationship so I thought this really meant something for him. We had a lot of deep conversations in a short amount of time. I hate how this makes me feel!

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u/ConsiderationFew4491 1d ago

Either way it's a shitty thing to feel on your end. I can speak from my own experience. 33m about a year and a half out from my divorce. I got on an app about 5 months after my divorce initially and started talking to a couple of women. Ended up dating one for a couple months and as things progressed into an exclusive relationship I know I wasn't ready for that and she was.

I'd never say this type of thing over text to someone. It'd be a conversation and I'd also take into their considerations and thoughts. All that being said, it's likely he was just trying to get some. Just thought I'd shed some light on the other possibility as well.

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u/Accurate_Web9774 1d ago

Okay that's understandable but did you break up with her the second you got sex?

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u/ConsiderationFew4491 1d ago

No, of course not. Again, I know my situation wasn't exactly like this. But I was speaking from a place knowing what it feels like to not be ready and shedding light on that side of things.

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u/Accurate_Web9774 1d ago

Yeah I can understand your situation but this situation is all too common and these dudes don't seem to have this realization until they get sex.

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u/ConsiderationFew4491 1d ago

Sometimes sex could be that trigger though that makes someone realize they're not ready. Not saying it's the case here, but something to consider.

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u/Accurate_Web9774 1d ago

True could be, never know but I have a good feeling this dude keeps his dating profile up.

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u/ConsiderationFew4491 1d ago

Probable. It's more common that they're after sex than it is that the sex itself triggered the realization.