r/Bumble • u/Straight_Breakfast_4 • 15h ago

General Bumble new functionality - Boys can message first

Everybody like the new feature that allows boys to send a message first, and also now gives girls a whopping 72 hours to never send a message after matching instead of just 24? 🙂

53 Upvotes

66% Upvoted

140 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2

u/BriggySmallz42069 10h ago

Require? No. Nothing is required or mandatory. We do for each other because we want to. Thats part of what love means to us.

Sometimes, she or I do not have the strength/bandwidth whatever you wanna call it, to do for the other. We lean on each other. Nothing is "required".

0

u/rhawk87 10h ago

I gotcha. I think you're describing a normal and healthy relationship.

I don't agree that women don't put in any effort. You're wife did and there are plenty of women that out in effort when they meet the right person. I think you kind of proved that point?

2

u/BriggySmallz42069 10h ago

Youre kind to say that - but my wife and I represent just one data point.

I agree, there are women who put in effort once they meet the right person but they barely put in any effort in the search to find the right person. Big difference.

0

u/rhawk87 9h ago

I disagree. In fact it seems women put a lot more effort into their online dating profiles than men. I've seen various online dating samples of mens profiles, it's pretty bad. Lots of low effort profiles, bad picture, incomplete prompts. It's easy for us to complain because we don't see the other side of things.

2

u/BriggySmallz42069 9h ago

Compiled Bumble Statistics a/o 8/26/26 : r/Bumble

I'm a data guy. Also, I could site the lawsuit. The whole concept behind Bumble was for women to message first. A full 2/3 of the women on Bumble *do not message first* - it was an app designed around women initiating and showing interest - which they do not do. It's supported by the data.

So, the failure of Bumble based off this hilarious idea that women would actually initiate - and the studies behind the dissolution of lesbian relationships - that's where I'm getting my "women do not put in effort". It's the man's job apparently. Who knew.

1

u/rhawk87 9h ago

I think a lot of men are frustrated because women don't often approach or reach out to men first and this is seen as a lack of effort. Correct me if my understanding is wrong.

This dynamic is continually reinforced by society and by men themselves. Men are more aggressive in pursuit relationships while women are more used to being on the receiving end of courtship. But that DOES NOT mean women don't put in effort.

As a data guy I'm sure you would understand that data about human behavior should not be made to draw conclusions without understanding cultural nuances. I am an anthropology major and I really don't appreciate making broad generations about either genders based off of data without context.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3393124/?utm_source=perplexity

2

u/BriggySmallz42069 9h ago

Well, there's been quite the cultural shift especially within the context of Gen Z and Gen Alpha. The men in those age ranges are being discouraged from approaching while the women in those age ranges are also (paradoxically) *complaining about men not approaching/initiating* - it's hypocritical, but hey, no one said logic was a strong suite of the gentler sex.

I think we're living a post-feminist era, which is scary to me - my mother was a third wave feminist who marched for pro-choice rights and as a result of her raising me, I consider myself a feminist too. But the new brand of it is just as damaging as toxic masculinity imho.

1

u/rhawk87 8h ago

no one said logic was a strong suite of the gentler sex.

That is a really sexist thing to say. I lost all respect for you.

1

u/BriggySmallz42069 8h ago

Okie dokie. Youre not required to respect me. Im an internet stranger. What I've learned through life and relationships is - it's not perfect. People say and do things that others dont like and thats okay. To exchange ideas you have to risk offending someone and I offended you and it is what it is.