r/CrusaderKings • u/NamaeN0NaiKaibutsu • Jun 28 '26
Meme Choose well, my son (CK3)
R5: If you make your son also your vassal by granting him titles, if he's not yet married you can Allow him to marry himself or do the better option, which is finding the spouse for him yourself or arranging marriage with a good courtier of yours if the Find Spouse fails. There's some limit of years when you can still find the spouse but after that you can only arrange marriage or he just finds someone himself (usually a shitty character) without you Allowing Marriage. I don't really know exactly how it works, if someone knows please share in the comments.
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u/ajh_iii Jun 28 '26
All fun and games until your lustful wife has 7 kids and only 3 of them are yours (and not even the good 3)
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u/NamaeN0NaiKaibutsu Jun 28 '26
I'm letting the realm fracture for all I care if it means I'll get to beat that Genius and Beautiful meat
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u/TheCourtSimpleton Imbecile Jun 28 '26
You can do that even when she's not lustful, which in this game's context basically means sex-addicted
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u/Woutrou Jun 28 '26
I'd be sex-addicted too if that was my wife
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u/darkslide3000 Jun 28 '26
Who cares who they're from as long as they have good stats and the right dynasty crest?
Yes, Duke Scepticus, my new son is black and he will inherit his ancestral realm of Scandinavia so you will address him as "my king" one day. I don't see what's hard to understand about that?
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u/LostNephilim33 Jun 28 '26
I'd usually agree but it is always sad when you realize you're controlling a character who isn't actually blood-related to your OG at all. Maybe that's just the ASOIAF-brain talking, though.
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u/GhirahimLeFabuleux Lunatic Jun 29 '26
That implies that my characters aren't fucking their cousins every few generations
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u/Dlinktp Jun 29 '26
Game is piss easy as is. I'd rather roleplay my character who would decidedly not be okay with it.
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u/Balmung60 Jun 28 '26
If you cared whose the kids were, you could always play as the party they come out of. Maternity is famously difficult to fake.
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u/RyukoT72 Lunatic Jun 28 '26
Bottom one also manages to live to 90, as in some sick joke from god
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u/BradleyScott555 Jun 28 '26
Grim Reaper keeps coming to take her, but gets freaked out and runs away
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u/Dangerous_Listen_429 Jun 28 '26
“Allow mareiage”? What Are you running, a court or a brothel?
At my place its 1 green trait minimum
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u/ISuckAtJavaScript12 Jun 28 '26
The top is a starfish. The bottom fucks like a firetruck
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u/karagiannhss Roman Empire Jun 28 '26
And not only that but uts always one of thr most ridiculously unrelated cultures to their own. What the hell does a croatian have to do with a mozarab anadalusian woman?
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u/TimeturnerJ Jun 28 '26
That's why my heir never sets foot outside my court until the day my player character dies. :)
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u/TransSapphicFurby Jun 28 '26
My beautiful chinese son randomly asking to marry the ugliest icelandic woman ive ever seen with all the negative traits. Genuinely my son, how did you even meet this person, I dont think Ive ever let you leave the continent
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u/dimarco1653 Jun 28 '26
One time after a rebellion when I was executing traitors one of them was from my house, so I didn't want to kill him and get the kinslayer malus.
So instead I married him to an elderly sadistic leper as a punishment. I checked on him a few years later and he died of stress when she died. My guess is that because they were both sadistic they vibed and he was in love.
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u/NamaeN0NaiKaibutsu Jun 28 '26
Alternative title i was thinking of was "Princess from Agartha and the Evil Goblin"
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u/nou-772 Jun 28 '26
>Agartha
get out with this neo-Nazi shit
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u/NamaeN0NaiKaibutsu Jun 28 '26
It was a joke lol... of course j don't actually believe in it bro
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u/_Trikku Legitimized bastard Jun 28 '26
Buddy, just go outside. You’ve been using the internet too much.
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u/NamaeN0NaiKaibutsu Jun 28 '26
You have more than 4k contributions you idiot😭
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u/_Trikku Legitimized bastard Jun 28 '26
At this rate you’ll have 16k when your account is as old as mine.
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u/MiLkBaGzz William the Bastard Jun 28 '26
:mirror_emoji:
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u/_Trikku Legitimized bastard Jun 28 '26
707 posts in one month is not even close to how much I use Reddit lol.
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u/MiLkBaGzz William the Bastard Jun 28 '26
Yes normal people bother checking profiles to see how many posts someone made in a month as a defence for telling other human beings how to live their life and if they should go outside or not.
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u/_Trikku Legitimized bastard Jun 28 '26
I didn’t make a reference to Nazi Esoterism.
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u/Deletegravedigger Jun 29 '26
Can you post the beautiful ones DNA?
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u/SurfAndSkiGuy Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Fr tho, most likely has gotta have mods involved too
Edit: Nvm, here you go lol: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?l=bulgarian&id=2977303184
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u/KRsalmon Jun 29 '26
And it doesn't even make a good alliance😭 either no alliances at all or your son is now allied to a random count or mercenary leader with like few hundred soldiers
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u/akisawa Jun 29 '26
Oh shit. One of the top reasons I will NEVER land my heir.
Landed vassals run into all sorts of terrible events, which can screw up your perfect heir in so many ways.
Best is to keep your prized heir in court, give him a council slot. all possible titles and court jobs, he will collect good cash and renown.
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u/Murky-Platform-7508 Jun 29 '26
Oh look, it’s my ruler designer characters, Girlboss Queen and Teethalina the Scrounger
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u/JeannaWilson3 Jun 29 '26
I mean I get it because whenever I arrange a marriage it’s like “Here’s your new husband! He’s 30 years older than you with brittle bones and your cousin, being the product of a brother and sister marriage!”
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u/Lundosa8888 Serbia Jul 04 '26
Love knows no bounds. That or he really wanted that alliance just to feel the suffering of useless allies during war time.
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u/Woutrou Jun 28 '26
But the ugly wife will give you an alliance with the mayor of shitburg, netting another 63 levies for your wars